Retribution
by Sabi'sSookie
Summary: Desperate for revenge of the death of his imprint and unborn child, Sam's wolf takes over. "I lifted the girl in my arms and took off running. She was not allowed to escape the pain and I would be there every day as a reminder."
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight related. I just like to play with her characters a bit.**

**This story is dark! You have been warned! It is intended for mature audiences only… meaning if you aren't 18, please don't read, and if you do… I don't wanna' know ;)**

**Chapter 1**

**BPOV**

"Bella? Hun, I brought some soup!" I heard Emily from my bedroom where I was stuck in bed with the flu.

"I'm in my room, Em!" I called back as strongly as my weakened state would allow.

Emily walked in wearing a smile and a mask and I couldn't help but laugh at her.

"What's the mask for, Em? It's just the flu." I spoke through hacking coughs.

"Well, I can't afford to get sick." She looked like she was bubbling over to say more so I waited. "I'm pregnant!"

"Holy shit! Sam must be over the moon happy! I would hug you but now I really don't want you to get sick! WOW!"

"I haven't had a chance to tell Sam yet. He's out patrolling and he can't exactly carry a cell phone, ya' know? I just left the doctor, picked up the soup from the diner, and here I am! Oh, Bella, I'm so excited! I'm gonna' be a mommy!" She jumped up and down, squealing through her mask.

"I'm so happy for you and Sam, Em! You'll be such great parents! After all, you already take care of a pack of idiots! A kid has to be much easier than them!"

"I know, right?" We both giggled. Well, she giggled, but mine came out sounding more like a dying pig.

We both turned when we heard a tap on my bedroom window, expecting Edward or one of the Cullens. My whole body went cold when I saw flaming red hair and a wicked smirk.

"Emily! You have to get out of here!" I screeched.

"I'm not leaving you, Bella! Sam is patrolling and he'll be here soon!" We both knew deep down that he'd never make it in time.

"No, Emily! GO!" I tried to get out of bed, but my limbs just weren't working correctly, I guess as a result of the fever.

"Hello, dear Bella. I'm surprised to find you unattended. Between your Cullens and the mutts I never thought I'd get you alone. And who is this? It looks like something has already done damage to her." Victoria sneered.

"Just leave her alone, Victoria! It's me you want! She has nothing to do with this!" I fell as I attempted to get out of bed.

"Well, Bella, normally I would, but you see, I'm very hungry, and pregnant women are so delicious."

"NO!" Emily and I screamed at the same time, but it was too late. Victoria snapped her neck and drained her dry.

"EMILY!" I screamed.

Victoria dropped her limp body to the ground and turned to me. At that point I wanted death. Emily and her baby died because of me. Poor Sam.

"I'm sorry, Sam. Edward, I love you," I whispered what I expected to be my final words.

"Fuck!" Victoria screeched. "You're saved for now, sweet Bella, but I will be back!" And with that she jumped out the window.

"Bella!" Jake came bounding up the stairs and hit his knees as soon as he saw Emily's body.

"I told her to take me! It should have been me, Jake!" I wailed and Jake wrapped me in his arms. He then picked up my cell phone.

"Victoria was here. Come quick!" Then he hung up and held me tight.

I'm not sure how much time passed before Edward, Alice, and Jasper practically flew through the window.

"Oh God, Bella! Why didn't I see this?" Alice cried.

"Emily was pregnant. The baby… carried the wolf gene and would have blocked you. I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" I repeated my apology over and over until Jasper placed a hand on my shoulder and sent wave after wave of calm through me.

"Bells, I need to take Emily to Sam." I immediately fell into another round of sobs. I could only imagine what Sam was going to feel. He would hate me. Maybe even come to kill me. I would welcome it, after all Emily's death rested on my shoulders.

"Darlin' you need to stop that. This is no one's fault but Victoria's. Sam will understand that." I didn't believe him for a second, but was thankful for the effort. I looked to Jake and he looked about as convinced as I did that Sam wouldn't blame me. I was never his favorite person to begin with.

"Bells, I'm gonna' go now, but I'll be back once I talk to Sam." He leaned down and kissed my forehead before picking up am limp Emily. My heart broke a little more as I watched him carry her out my bedroom door.

**SPOV**

Emily had been gone quite a while. She said she had a checkup and then was going to check on Bella Swan. Why Emily befriended her I will never know. That girl caused problems everywhere she went and the company she kept just made it worse. Hell, look at all the shit she had put poor Jacob through. I would know, I have to see his thoughts.

I was getting ready to call Emily's phone when I saw them. Jake was carrying an unconscious Emily in his arms. I ran full-speed to meet them and when I did, I fell to the ground. Emily had no heartbeat. My sweet and loving Emily was ALL heart, and now hers had stopped.

"What… happened?" I asked between sobs as Jake laid her in my arms.

"The red-headed leech showed up at Bella's. Bells tried to stop her, but Victoria… well, she… I'm so sorry Sam! I didn't get there fast enough! And Emily being pregnant!" Jake was sobbing uncontrollably and it took a moment for me to register what he said.

"Pregnant?" I choked.

"Oh God! You didn't know?" Jake fisted his hands in his hair and my hand immediately went to Emily's flat stomach.

"She went for a checkup. She didn't even tell me she suspected it. We'd been trying, but I had no idea." I felt like I was in a fog. The air felt thick and weighed on my chest. My Emily was giving me a baby. I would have been a father.

Anger and hatred bubbled up inside me. Tangling with the grief it was a minute by minute battle as to which emotion was more prominent. Someone would pay. I would make it my life's goal to kill the red-head, and then I would deal with Bella Swan. She was the one who had brought this evil witch to our back yard.

**One month later…**

"Sam, it's Carlisle Cullen. You asked us to keep you updated on the Victoria situation. Things are much worse than we feared. She has built an army of newborn vampires and is coming to Forks. Alice said that they will be here in three days. Jasper has dealt with newborns. It was what he was created to do. He will be training us all, and we would like to invite you all to watch. That is if you are still willing to fight alongside us."

"We will fight, and we will watch your training. When and where?" My sentences were short and clipped. Ever since Emily's death, I had only spoken when absolutely necessary. All my words had been for Emily from the first moment I laid eyes on her, and with her gone I had no desire to do or say anything.

Bella Swan had actually had the nerve to show up at my Emily's funeral and I was so angry that I phased and almost killed her. If Jake and Paul hadn't stood in my way, I would have.

"This is not what Emily wanted for you, man. Remember who you are." Paul was always simple and to the point… and unfortunately it was one of the few times that he was right.

Carlisle gave me all the details and after I agreed once again we ended our conversation.

For two nights we observed the scarred Cullen as he showed us how the newborns fought. Well, I use the term "we" loosely because most of my time was spent watching Bella Swan with disdain. After all her involvement with leeches, why was she alive and my Emily dead? My baby?

Jake often looked at me from where he sat at Bella's side where she stroked his fur. He knew what I was feeling and always let me know that while he respected my feelings he would protect her. If it weren't for Jake, she would have been dead several times over. Yet it was always the leech that she chose. Just another reason to hate the bitch.

It had been decided that Bella would leave her scent all over the clearing to distract the newborns and then Jake would carry her to a site where the mind-reader had set up camp. The mind-reader and Seth would remain with Bella while the rest of us fought. I watched in Jake's thoughts as Bella kissed him and begged him not to go. What a heartless bitch she was. Wanting one, yet keeping both.

When the fight finally began everything moved so quickly. I released my inner wolf and gave myself completely to him. He was savage and vicious and took no mercy upon those who got in his path. My teeth ripped and sliced, tore and shredded. My brothers in battle fed from my hate and rage and we destroyed every newborn in our path. We would listen to no begging or pleading for their lives, because they had shown none to their victims. All the while, I looked for the red-head. I should have known that she wouldn't dare show her face in a real battle. Then, in Seth's mind I saw her. She and another newborn were circling Bella and the mind-reader.

I took off like a shot, determined that I would be the one to end her. By the time I got there she had just thrown what was left of the mind-reader in the fire and Seth was tangled with the newborn. Her eyes focused on Bella and a sneer came across her lips. Bella simply smiled and with a final "I love you, Edward" took the rock in her hand and sliced the sharp edge along her wrist. The red-head and the newborn were momentarily distracted by her blood, giving Seth and I the chance to take them down.

"WHY? Why didn't you let her kill me?" Bella screamed and pounded her small fists in my side. I growled at her before phasing back to my human form.

"Because death is too easy for you. Because of you my Emily and my baby are dead. And now your leech is gone as well. No, you deserve to suffer." I spat.

"Well, you can't stop me. The second you're gone I will finish what Victoria started. I don't deserve to live, nor do I want to." She cried, falling to the ground.

I didn't think of her pain of losing her mate. Only of my rage and that death was too easy for her. No, she would live as long as I did and I would take pleasure in watching her suffer. What I did next shocks me to this day. I lifted the girl in my arms and took off running. She was not allowed to escape the pain and I would be there every day as a reminder.

**And so it begins… What do you guys think! You know I need to hear from you, so leave me some love!**

**I am going to try and stick to a weekly posting schedule. Maybe more, but I'm not promising anything as I am caring for a teething baby! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own, nor do I profit from Twilight or its characters.**

**Thank you all for all your reviews, ads, and favorites. Remember that this is a dark take and nothing like my Paul/Bella. It's not going to be romantic…at least for a while and even then it may be strange. If you want to wait for something a bit more fun hang in there for my Jasper/Bella.**

**Enough talking. On with the story!**

**Chapter 2**

**Seth POV**

The red-head and her leech boyfriend came out of nowhere. Edward was so caught up in watching the battle from my mind and then relaying that information to Bella that he must have missed their thoughts. The red-head was on a mission to get to Bella and Edward blocked her at every turn. His mind-reading came in handy for that. I held my own against the newborn. Who knew watching the training would help so much. The scarred vamp, Jasper, knew his stuff.

Things seemed to be going well, until the newborn got his arms around me. He squeezed and I could feel my bones breaking. Edward, while keeping a grip on Red bit into the newborn's neck causing him to release me. It was like everything happened in slow motion. Both leeches turned on Edward and there was nothing he could do. They ripped him apart and threw the pieces in the fire we had been using to keep Bella warm. Bella's cries could be heard for miles, I was sure.

They, then, turned their attention to me, but before they reached me, Sam came barreling through into the small clearing. He was like a man/wolf possessed as he ripped and tore. I helped as much as I could, but even without me, the leeches stood no chance. Sam's thoughts were almost incoherent. Just words here and there "_rip… tear… kill… fire_". It was as if he had completely given himself over to the wolf.

I watched in horror as Red turned on Bella who simply looked like she was inviting death. When she cut her wrists and said her goodbyes I almost couldn't handle it. Sam and I quickly finished the leeches off and every bone in my body wanted to phase and comfort Bella, but I was in too much pain.

"_Seth, no matter what happens you are not to follow me, and you are to keep the Cullens occupied for as long as possible. That is an order! If the rest of the pack is listening it goes for you as well. No one is to follow me!"_

"_Yes, Alpha."_

Bella charged at Sam, yelling and pounding at him. His thoughts had shifted back to their former jumbled state and I caught wind from the other pack members' thoughts that they saw it too. Their fight was over and they were heading our way. Sam phased and yelled back at Bella. God, the things he said to her made me cringe. I wasn't sure what he was going to do, but the wild look in his eyes made me fear for Bella. He was no longer the controlled Sam we all new. This Sam was feral.

I looked on, helplessly as he ran with Bella. She was in trouble and we were powerless to stop him. The Cullens arrived with the pack and they all began frantically looking around for Bella and Edward. Dr. Cullen asked me to phase so that I could tell them what was going on and so he could treat my wounds. It hurt like hell, but I obliged. This would buy Sam time, like he ordered.

"Seth, can you tell us what happened, son?" Dr. Cullen asked and all the rest of the Cullens looked at me, their golden eyes filled with worry.

So I told them everything. I had never seen a vampire cry, but it was gut-wrenching to say the least. The way they held on to one another and battled with sobs, yet no tears would ever come. I apologized and told them that Edward died saving me. Then they asked the question I was dreading…

"Where's Bella?"

"Um…" I hesitated. Sam just said not to follow him and to keep them distracted. He never said I couldn't tell them he took her. "See, Sam sort of lost it and… well, he took her. I would have followed, but he gave us all an alpha command and we can't break that."

I looked to Jake who seemed to be quivering with anger, even in his wolf form. He had seen Sam's mind and I knew that he was fearful for Bella. We all were.

"Why on earth would he take Bella? Oh no! He blames her for Emily!" Alice began sobbing even harder.

"Why didn't I feel that? Will he hurt her?" Jasper spoke through clenched teeth.

"I don't know." I answered simply.

**BPOV**

Sam ran all the way to the reservation before immediately throwing me into his truck. He drove like the devil himself was on his tail. I remained completely silent other than the sobs that wracked my body. He would occasionally glare at me with such hatred that it caused me to flinch. Eventually I let the exhaustion wash over me and I fell into a deep slumber.

I was awakened by being unceremoniously dragged from the truck onto the wet ground. Taking in my surroundings, all I noticed were that we were outside a small house in the middle of nowhere.

"Are you going to kill me now?" I asked; my voice calm… hopeful.

"Ha! Death is too good for you! Of course you would want to take the easy way out! No, you will suffer as long as I do. I will remind you every day of the pain you have caused. You will feel the hell that I feel only to wake up the next day and do it all over again."

"Okay, Sam." I lowered my eyes to the ground in a totally submissive position. One thing I learned about the wolves was that the more you stand up to them, the angrier they get. Sam was always the most calm, but he wasn't Sam anymore. He was a feral animal, desperate to inflict the pain he felt on someone else. What he didn't know was that I already felt his pain. I had watched my beautiful Edward be ripped to pieces. His eyes were locked on mine as he burned and I heard his loud wails of pain.

But I understood that Sam blamed me for Emily and his child's death. After all, it was my involvement with vampires that brought Victoria to all of our doors.

"I will do as you wish. I deserve it." I kept my eyes downcast and hands on my knees.

"Get inside. This place needs a lot of work before it's livable."

"Yes, Sam."

I went about working, trying to stay as silent as possible. All I really wanted was for him to kill me, but he deserved his vengeance. I was torn between provoking him to the point of phasing and making sure to stand close, or giving him what he wants.

Sam stood in the doorway, watching as I scrubbed the kitchen floor on my hands and knees. Power and control just oozed from every pore. Muscles rippled with anger and the ever-present urge to phase. It wouldn't take much to push him over the edge.

"Don't even think about it. If I phased I would harm, but not kill. I have more control than you think." I shivered at the malice in his voice.

"I'm sorry, Sam. You have no idea how sorry. And I understand why you blame me. I do. But I lost someone too, and I miss him every bit as much as you miss Emily." I sniffed back tears and kept my eyes trained on the floor, never stopping my scrubbing.

"Don't you dare say her name!" I looked up to see his whole body convulsing. He was fighting hard not to phase. Just a little more.

I stood up and went to his side, placing my hand on his cheek. "Emily loved you, Sam. She wouldn't want this for you."

He clamped his teeth together and I saw a glimmer in his skin.

"Isabella! Get. Back." He growled, but I only lifted my hand and ran my fingers through his hair, getting ready for the final words that would push him over the edge.

_I will see you soon, Edward. I love you._

"Would you want Emily and your child to see you as a heartless bastard?" My voice was soft but I knew he heard me loud and clear.

Sam's lips curled up in a sneer before his body vibrated so hard that the floor below us shook. I smiled and closed my eyes.

**Jake POV**

"_He phased! There's blood every-fucking-where!"_ Paul's thoughts mirrored my own.

"_Why won't he fucking look at her? Is she all right? Sam, if you can hear me you bring her back right fucking now!"_ There was no answer. It was as though he wasn't thinking at all. Acting solely on instinct. I looked through his eyes trying to recognize something… anything!

"_Does anyone know this house?" _I asked, frantic. My poor Bella. She watches Edward die and now she may be bleeding to death with only a feral, hate-filled werewolf to watch. She wouldn't die alone! I wouldn't allow it.

"_Sam! Snap out of this shit! If you won't bring her home, tell me where you are!"_ Nothing. Not a single thought. He just kept his eyes on the blood that had spattered on the wall.

"_Damn it, Sam! At least fucking let me see her!"_ My mental voice desperate. Finally, he shifted his gaze.

There lay Bella. Face down. In a river of her own blood.

**Well, what did you think? The first few chapters will be short and choppy as things are happening quickly and Sam's actions aren't exactly coherent.**

**Don't forget to review and tell me how you feel about it. Good, bad, or indifferent.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. I also do not profit from writing this other than your awesome reviews ;)**

**Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read, favorite, add, and review! I appreciate every bit of feedback. A big thanks to Mr-Light-of-Twilight for continuing to push me to write this and for all the hand-holding he has to do (figuratively speaking). LOL!**

**Chapter 3**

**BPOV**

The copper smell of my own blood filled my nostrils but I felt too dizzy to even attempt to move myself away from it. It was almost as if I could _feel_ the blood leaving my body. My torso was on fire but I was too afraid to actually look in order to assess the damage. I hoped I would simply bleed to death. I felt Sam turn me over, still in his wolf form and I hoped Jake wasn't phased and seeing me like that. Sam huffed and snorted before his form shimmered and he was human again.

"Shit! I'm not taking you for help, so you will deal with the care I give you." He picked me up, face turned away from me in disgust.

"Yes, Sam," I whispered my new mantra.

He unceremoniously sat me in the freshly cleaned bathtub and turned the shower on. I was blasted with freezing water and I cried out in pain as it pelted my open wounds.

"Our saliva contains healing properties. All our fluids do. I am going to phase again and I will use my saliva to help you. Can't have you dying on me. That would be far too easy for you."

He walked away and I heard the familiar ripping sound of the phase before seeing his huge black form entering the bathroom. His rough tongue licked each wound, leaving a trail of fire with each swipe. It did not heal the wounds instantly, but I could feel the saliva seeping into my body. The burn was not as bad as venom, but it was painful just the same. Sam took his time, seemingly enjoying my discomfort.

After what felt like hours, he finished, leaving me lying in the tub, violently shaking. I was freezing and the pain of the wounds coming together, as well as the saliva seeping into the internal wounds, was almost unbearable. I snapped my teeth together, determined not to cry out. I deserved this. Emily and her unborn child deserved more than to die for a weak human. Edward deserved more. I would be strong for all of them. I would be strong for Jake who was always my rock; my sun. And lastly, I would be strong for Sam because no matter how cruel he was acting, it was coming from a place of love for the loss of his beautiful Emily and the child he would never hold. It was his way of getting justice for them.

I am unsure how long I lay in that tub, but eventually I gave way to exhaustion and sleep claimed me. After an indeterminable amount of time I was awakened by cold water spouting from the shower head.

"UP!" Sam bellowed and as much as I hurt, my body immediately went into action and I stood. I kept my eyes to the ground, showing him my submission to his will. He deserved to see my utter dejection and I deserved to feel it.

"Finish cleaning. I got groceries while you slept and I need the kitchen clean so you can cook." Sam ordered and I simply nodded.

I fought through my tears from the mental and physical pain and resumed cleaning where I had left off. Every wince I held back was satisfying to me in a way. It showed that I was paying for my sins that would never be truly forgiven. I welcomed it fully.

The whole time I worked, Sam watched me closely. Occasionally he would wince when I did, but would then quickly recover. Deep down I know that part of him hated doing this to me. Sam had always been commanding, but when he looked at Emily he was soft and vulnerable. She brought out a side of him that was rarely seen; A side that smiled and even occasionally cracked a joke or two. Sam the Alpha did not exist in Emily's presence unless he was protecting her, then come hell or high water you better not have stood in his way.

Truth be told, Sam always scared the hell out of me. He just had this way about him. Jake said it was the Alpha coming out in him. Whatever it was, he always put me on edge. The Cullens always held a healthy respect for him and believed him to be a good man. I fully believed that man was still in there, although he was buried pretty deep below the wolf and the anger.

There were no clocks in the house, so I am not sure how long I worked, but I was exhausted when the house was finally clean. Barely able to stand upright I decided on making pasta and salad since it was fairly easy and quick. When the food was ready I went in the living room to find Sam sitting on the sofa, head in his hands and shoulders shaking. What I did next could only be considered an act of stupidity, but I placed a shaky hand in his hair and began to run my fingers through it in a soothing manner. He seemed to momentarily relax until all of a sudden he sat up, ramrod straight and snatched my hand from his hair.

The growl in his chest began low, but increased in volume as his grip on my hand tightened. His eyes never left mine and I saw nothing there but malice and hate. For one moment his eyes softened before they went back to their hard glare.

"It's all right, Sam. I deserve it." I smiled at him even though my hand was being crushed. The pain was quickly becoming addictive to me. It reminded me of what I was. Nothing.

He immediately dropped my hand like I shocked him and stalked into the kitchen. He sat at the table and waited for, I assumed, me to serve him. I ignored my now mangled hand and worked with the good one.

"Eat!" He ordered once I placed a plate full of food in front of him. I did as I was told and made myself a small plate of my own.

Dinner passed in silence with Sam occasionally glancing at me, looking almost guilty. I had no idea why he would feel guilty. We both knew I deserved everything he could throw at me.

**SamPOV**

As full of rage as I was, I couldn't help but feel remorseful about the physical damages I had caused to Bella. I may have hated her, but Emily would not have wanted me to be this way. Emily was always loving and forgiving. She accepted Bella more readily than any of us, apart from Jacob.

I had the sneaking suspicion that when I phased, Bella had known exactly what she was doing. She wanted to die, but that was simply not something that I could or would allow. If I was forced to walk this earth after losing the love of my life then so was she. I had contemplated killing myself, but it was much more difficult for me that it was for a human, since I would heal. I would have to rely on one of the pack to do it, or run across a red-eyed bloodsucker. The pack would definitely not allow either option, so we were both stuck.

While I wasn't willing to let her know just how badly I felt about hurting her, I wanted her to know that I didn't plan on doing it again.

"Sorry about your hand," I mumbled under my breath.

She paused, her fork halfway to her mouth, before setting it down and taking a deep breath.

"You shouldn't be. I deserve all of that and more, Sam." Everything in her tone and manner told me that she truly believed what she was saying.

"Well, either way, I should not have done it. It won't happen again."

"Why?" She looked shocked and slightly… worried?

"You're asking me why I won't physically abuse you?" It was my turn to be shocked.

"Well, yes…" She looked down at her hands.

"It isn't right. As much as I hate you, I shouldn't abuse you. It is wrong. Do you _want_ me to abuse you?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"What?" I almost choked on air.

"As I've said, I deserve it. I know it has to make you feel better and… I like the pain." I don't think I was meant to hear the last part but I did.

This girl was certifiable. Who in their right mind would want to get slashed up or have bones broken. I suppose I could slightly understand how feeling pain could make a person feel better; you always hear about people cutting themselves and then there are the Dom/sub relationships. I just never would have pegged Bella Swan to be one of those people, no matter what life threw at her. I guess tragedy and guilt affect us all differently. It turned me into a hardened, hateful version of myself.

The wolf inside me began to growl, demanding that I give Bella what she wants in order to avenge our imprint. I was determined not to physically harm her anymore, but the wolf had me shaking from the strain of holding back

"Enough!" I yelled, tugging at my hair.

"Sam?" Bella rose from her seat, moving toward my shaking form.

"Bella, stay back!" I yelled and watched as her body jerked. It looked as if she was unable to move. It looked just like a wolf attempting to go against an alpha order. I might have looked deeper into it if I hadn't been fighting the wolf for dominance.

"Sam, please?" She was pleading with me now; her frail body almost vibrating with need.

"_See, it hurts her worse to deny her,"_ I reasoned with the wolf. He growled back at me but the shaking somewhat ceased.

"Clean up and go to bed," I ordered through clenched teeth. Once again her body jerked against itself and she went to work. I ran out the front door, clothes shredding as I phased.

"_Finally! Sam, where are you? Everyone is flipping the fuck out!"_ I was relieved that it was Paul and not Jake that I was dealing with.

"_No one needs to know where we are,"_ I growled.

"_Is she still alive?"_ He asked warily.

"_She is, and she will remain that way. I used my saliva to heal her. She will be fine; or as fine as she can be,"_ Was my curt reply.

"_What the fuck happened out there, dude? Why do you even have her to begin with? Jake and the leeches are losing it. You need to bring her back."_ Paul had always been the pack member least afraid to challenge me. He always said what he thought, consequences be damned.

"_I can't do that, Paul. I have to do this for Emily."_

"_You think Em would want you ripping Bella to shreds? I mean, I hate her as much as you for bringing this shit-storm down on us, but this is too much."_ Paul made perfect sense, a very rare thing for him, but I couldn't (or wouldn't) give in. Bella was going to be miserable for the rest of her life. I would make sure of it.

"_Sam! You son of a bitch! You bring her back! NOW!"_ It seemed Jake had joined us.

"_Jacob, you will stand down! Bella isn't coming back until I say so!" _I used my most commanding Alpha tone.

"_I am meeting with the council to get you overthrown as Alpha, and when I do… you better hope you are well hidden."_ I had to consider if this thing with Bella was worth losing my position as Alpha. I decided that without question it was. I had to do it for Emily… for my child.

"_You do what you must, but for now I am still Alpha and I say you need to stand down! What are the Cullens planning?"_ For a moment neither Jake nor Paul answered. Jake's thoughts were nothing but growls.

"_The psychic can't see around you, and they have no way to track you. You are safe."_ Paul answered, albeit grudgingly.

"_For now_," were Jake's final thoughts to me.

**BPOV**

Sam was gone. I didn't know what happened, but it was as if his words had the power to control me. It was almost as if my own mind was warring with itself. Logically my own thoughts should be able to override anything he said, but it was as if his words somehow fused with my own thoughts. My body instinctively obeyed. I had been hoping to make him phase on me again.

One thing I did know was that the Cullens and Jake were probably worried sick. I wasn't sure how far away Sam was, but hopefully Alice would see what I was about to do.

**Hmmm… so what do you think Bella is up to? See you all next week!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Well, ladies and gents, here we are at CH4. Some people like the story and some don't, but I appreciate all the comments and reviews either way! You guys are awesome and I love every review!**

**I need to go ahead and warn you that I will be out of town for a few weeks with absolutely NO internet access. I am trying to rectify that, but I can't make any promises about the next chapter. I am not abandoning you, though, I swear! Also, if I don't get a chance to respond to reviews, I apologize in advance. Why doesn't everyone have internet? They should!**

**After that epically long A/N, on with the story! And as always, I do not own Twilight!**

**Chapter 4**

**BPOV**

_Alice,_

_This has to be done quickly as I don't know when he will be back. I just want you to know that I am alive and unharmed. Nothing that I receive is undeserved. Edward meant everything to me and without him I am nothing. I will always love all of you, but it would not be fair for you to have a constant reminder of the reason that you lost your brother. Just please could you tell the family a few things?_

_Tell Jasper that he tried his best and he is my warrior. He should never feel guilt about any of this. Let him know how good he is and that there was nothing more that he could have done. _

_Tell Rosalie that I now understand exactly why she hates me. I am a plague that kills everything I touch. But I love her anyway._

_Tell Emmett that he is the best big brother a girl could ever ask for. I will miss his bear hugs, his booming laugh, and his dimpled smile. Hug him for me, and Alice, let him bear hug you without worrying about your hair. _

_To Carlisle and Esme, I am so sorry for the loss of their son. All of their grief rests on my shoulders and what I do now is my penance. No better, or more loving parents have ever existed. I will miss them for the rest of my days and I will love them for even longer._

_Alice, please take care of Charlie for as long as it is possible for you to do. We may not say it as much as we should but I love him. Could you somehow let him know that? And hug him for me._

_Tell everyone just how much I love them. You are all my family and I am so sorry for all that you have suffered because of me._

_And you, my dearest friend and sister; my confidante and partner in crime, I will miss you more than words can express, but this is something that I have to do. I hope that you still love me after all the pain that I have caused. If not, I understand, but either way I love you and hope that with me gone you and your family can find peace and happiness. Edward loved you all, and his memory is better left with the people who actually deserve it. I love you, Alice. Don't look for me._

_All my love,_

_Bella_

With the letter done, I cried. I decided that I would allow myself that one moment of weakness. One moment of feeling the pleasure of releasing my emotions. I cried for the loss of Edward, the love of my life. I cried for the loss of my quiet father who I never got enough time with. I cried for Jake, who would continue to fight for me even when there was nothing left of me to fight for. And I cried for the family that I would never be a part of again. It was like this that Sam found me. He said nothing as he walked by me, but that changed when he saw the letter that I was too careless to get rid of. _Good, maybe he will end me._

"What the hell is this?" He yelled and I could practically feel him vibrating across the room.

"It's my goodbye," I whispered.

He was silent for a moment, trying to decide if there were any hidden messages in the letter. He must have decided that there weren't because he nodded his head and threw the letter into the fire. I said one last silent goodbye and wiped the tears from my face, preparing for what Sam would order me to do today.

"Look at me," he ordered and I did, but my eyes were met with Emily's Sam. He felt remorse and I couldn't have that. My punishment would not continue of he felt any guilt for his actions.

"Sam, it's my fault that they're dead. Never feel guilty about treating me like the garbage that I am." My voice was firm and he looked taken back; surprised.

"Jake is threatening to overthrow me as Alpha if I don't bring you back."

"No! He can't do that! It's my fault! Let me talk to him and I will tell him! The pack needs you and when I am gone, you will all go back to normal!" I was hysterical. Sam didn't deserve to lose his position because of me.

Sam just stood, shocked; his mouth opening and closing like a fish.

Finally he spoke. "Jake said you were good with weird, personally I think you're just crazy."

"Possibly," was all I could think to say.

Sam looked as if he was battling with himself; an internal war raged behind his eyes.

"Sam?" I asked, taking a hesitant step in his direction.

"I don't get you! You should be angry with me! You should hate me! Stop being so damn understanding and fight back!" He tugged at his hair and paced the room.

"Would it make it easier for you to harm me if I fought with you? Tell me what to do! I know that this is all my fault! I'm the reason that Emily and your baby are dead! I'm the reason that my Edward is gone! Me! I deserve it all!" I dropped to my knees and allowed all the sorrow and guilt I was feeling to wash over me. Sam stood over me, looking unsure as to what he wanted to do.

Once my sobs had subsided I looked up at him. "Could you phase so I can talk to Jake? Maybe I can talk some sense into him."

Sam cocked his head to the side and eventually nodded before walking out of the cabin. I followed him out and stood on the porch. He emerged from the woods as the large, black wolf I had come to associate with him. I missed Jake in that moment, so much.

**SPOV**

This girl was making my head swim at every turn. I knew that I had no will to be Alpha anymore; not really. When you lose your reason for existing what else is there to live for. Not to mention the fact that I knew I was mentally unstable. But I would at least give Jake some peace of mind that Bella was alive.

"_Shit, Sam, it's really hitting the fan here."_ I was thankful for Paul, but I really just wanted to get this over with.

"_Look, she wants to talk to Jake. Can you get him?"_

"_Yeah… that's… are you letting her say goodbye or something? You're not going to…"_ I knew when even Paul couldn't agree with my choices I was wrong. He didn't really have much of a moral compass to begin with. He was gone for a few moments before my mind was flooded with yelling. Jake was barely even forming coherent thought. I walked out of the woods and my eyes fell on Bella, who was standing on the porch looking tired.

"_Bella,"_ Jake mentally sighed. "_She's alive! Thank God!"_

"Can he hear me?" Bella asked and I nodded.

"Jake, I know this must be hard for you, but you should know that all this is my fault. Sam is only doing what he feels like he must to avenge Emily."

Jake's growl reverberated through my mind.

"I love you, Jake. You need to know that." She swallowed thickly and a few tears escaped her eyes.

"I know you think you're doing the best thing by overthrowing Sam, but he doesn't deserve that. When this is all over, you will all need one another. Please don't punish him because I brought this down on all of us."

"_Bella! I am coming for you! Sam, you tell her that! I won't give up until she's back where she belongs! The Cullens aren't giving up either! And when we find you… Sam, I'll kill you if you touch a hair on her head."_ I almost took her home right then so that he could, but then I couldn't get revenge for my Emily.

"_It's not her fault, you sick fuck! Bella tried to stop Victoria! She told Emily to leave, but Emily wouldn't go!"_ Jake's mental tirade was grating on my nerves and my inner wolf growled loudly.

"Jake, I need you to listen to me!" Bella cried when it was apparent that I wasn't paying attention to her any longer. Jake was immediately silent. "I love you, Jake. I wish it could have been enough, but it was always Edward for me. Now he's gone, and with me around you could never have a chance at your own happiness. You are always so busy trying to save me that you haven't been able to have a life of your own."

Jake was shouting in my head that she was wrong. That she was enough for him and that he would get her through the pain. He would heal her like he did before.

"You have to let me go now, Jake. Please, don't be angry with Sam. He's only doing what he feels like he has to. I don't blame him and neither should you. Just…" she wiped away the tears that were rolling down her face, "just live your life. Move on. Fall in love with a girl that will love only you."

She walked back into the house without another word and I stood in complete shock. Had I been wrong about her all along?

"_Of course you've been wrong about her you sick fuck! She is the kindest person I have ever known and you are using that to relieve your own pain by hurting her! I will kill you, Sam!"_

I phased back to human form before Jake could say another word. A war waged on in my head between what I thought and what I knew. My wolf was determined that Bella Swan was the cause of all our troubles, but the man in me… Emily's man, told me that the recent events were inevitable. With the Cullens living in Forks, other vampires were bound to come around. They could have found another reason to want to destroy. Bella was just a girl that fell in love.

No, she chose to be a part of that life. She chose to align herself with a family of leeches. Her death could have saved my Emily. Better yet, if she had never been with the bloodsucker to begin with none of this ever would have happened.

But was it really right to punish her? To treat her like a damn animal? Emily loved Bella, viewed her as a friend regardless of the company she kept. She was the first person she went to after finding out about our baby. No, Emily wouldn't want this life for me. She would want me to have compassion on Bella for losing her own love. She would want us to lean on one another.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't help her. Hell, I couldn't even be civil to her. Even if she didn't mean to she was a disease that infected every life that she touched. Yet people willingly gave their lives for her. A literal war was fought for her. Jake and the Cullens would still die for her. Even Paul had become almost tolerant of her. Was I the only one who could see that she wasn't as selfless as she wanted us to believe. If she had been truly selfless she would have told the Cullens to stay away. She could have fucking left with them for all I cared. Jake would have been hurt, but eventually he would have imprinted and moved on. Or even found a nice girl who would be what he needed. But no, she had to fucking stick around and rip his heart out, bit by bit.

"_Sam,"_ Emily's sweet voice was a whisper on the wind.

"Em?" I looked around hoping to catch a glimpse of her. I could smell her, even feel her light touch on my cheek, but she was nowhere to be seen.

"_Sam, this isn't you, my love. Be the man you were with me. Don't let your hate rule you. Your son and I are safe here, happy even. I miss you, but I can't stand seeing you like this."_ Her scent swirled around me as the wind whipped at my face.

"I can't so this without you, Em. She took everything from me! You were my everything and you just expect me to forgive and move on? I can't, Em!" I cried as I sunk to my knees. It was raining now. The force of the heavy drops hit my face and as I looked up I could almost see an outline in the fog. Emily's face came into focus and she smiled kindly at me. Then I looked down to see a small baby swaddled in her arms. I was speechless due to all the breath leaving my body.

"_I don't have long, Sam, but know this… Bella blames herself more than you ever could. She lives in a world of pain. Edward watches her and it kills him."_

"The leech is where you are?" My hatred bled into my tone and Emily's image faded slightly.

"_Your hate overshadows our love now. I can't hold live around those kinds of emotions. I have to go now, but I ask that you reconsider the path that you are on. For me. I love you, Sam."_ Emily's image faded away and I cried my final "I love you" to her. I thought I caught a glimpse of Bella's leech, but didn't care enough to really focus.

Could I give up on my plan for revenge? Could I give up the one thing I had that kept me tied to Emily? I didn't know, but I was about to find out as I felt a small, trembling hand on my shoulder.

"It's okay, Sam. Let it all out." I trembled with a mix of hate and loss, not knowing which emotion was stronger in that moment. So I cried. I laid on the forest floor and cried as Bella Swan curled herself around me to shield me from the rain.

**Hmmm… so is Sam coming to his senses or is it the calm before the storm?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Well, it was a long trip, but I'm back. I hope you are all still with me! I won't bore you with a long A/N…. On with the show!**

**Chapter 5**

**BPOV**

"Bella, love… move away from him…" Edward's melodic voice washed over me, but I refused to obey. Sam needed the comfort even if I was the person offering it. I simply squeezed my eyes shut tighter and felt my body shake with the force of Sam's sobs.

"Love, please, you can't help him. Not now." I took a chance and peeked in the direction of Edward's voice and was met with nothing but a dense fog. It was a delusion like when he left me. Nothing more. My tears mingled with Sam's on the ground as the rain pounded my back.

How long we sat out in the freezing downpour, I did not know, but when Sam's heat couldn't even stop my shaking I grew optimistic that I would die out there. At least my death would serve a purpose.

"Isabella! Get up now!" Edward's voice rang in my ears, but Sam seemed to hear it as well, as his head whipped in the direction the voice came from.

"We need to get you inside," Sam growled but I didn't budge. He grunted but lifted me over his shoulder and carried me into the house. "Can't have you dying. What purpose would that serve?"

I awoke pressed in between a warm body and the back of a musty couch. Sam's snores filled the room but it was Emily's willowy figure that captured my attention.

"Save him, Bella…" She whispered and with a smile she was gone. I knew that fevers made me hallucinate. That had to be it.

"Em," Sam mumbled in his sleep and pulled me closer. I ran my fingers through his hair, trying to allow him some comfort in believing that she was there with him. Of course, that comfort only lasted until his eyes opened.

He moved away from me at inhuman speed but kept his hate-filled eyes glued on my face.

"Never touch me," he spat and stomped out of the room. Without being told what to do, I forced myself from the warmth of the couch and began my chores. My body was sore and I was dizzy, but I needed to do something useful or I would lose my mind. I scrubbed the floors and polished the old furniture until it shined. The result of my efforts caused the house to smell lemony clean with a hint of bleach, so I opened the windows so as not to overwhelm Sam's sense of smell. I still hadn't seen him since the couch and knew that he must have left. He knew that I wouldn't run. I had nowhere to go and no one to run to. Alone was good. I couldn't cause any more pain that way.

"Of all the self-sacrificing…. My family… Our family is searching for you! They need you! What about Jacob? The mutt loves you! He could help you! Stop being so stubborn!" Edward's voice caused the walls to shake but I ignored it and began scrubbing the already clean bath tub.

The front door opened and then closed with a bang. Sam appeared in the doorway of the bathroom, looking disheveled and angry.

"I'm no longer Alpha. I've been ordered to take you to La Push!" He refused to meet my eyes, but he was shaking with rage.

"No! You can't make me go back there! I can't look at them knowing that this is all my fault! Let me talk to Jake again!" I was borderline hysterical, but I knew that I was in no shape to face the looks of pity when I knew I didn't deserve them.

"I'm afraid we both must face the firing squad." He looked as defeated as I felt. I broke down and sobbed. Sam left me to my own devices and before long he was back and telling me that it was time to go.

"What if I ran away? You could go out for a run and when you come back I would just be gone!" An evil smirk crossed his lips and I hoped that he would agree with me.

"Is the thought of facing them all that difficult for you?"

"Yes," I admitted shamefully. Suddenly his smirk made me wary. He was going to force me to look them all in the face and own up to my sins.

"No! Please! I'll do anything!" He simply smirked at me causing me to panic further.

"They won't let you near me! I'll kill myself and you won't be able to stop me!" That made him pause.

"Hmm… well, we can't have that. I suppose I will just have to tell the good Doctor Fang about your threat. Although, not being able to watch you suffer… that idea is very unappealing to me." In my mind I prayed that he would come around to my idea.

"No, you will suffer more being faced with the people whose lives you've ruined. My decision is made."

"I saw Emily! She asked me to save you!" I was grasping at straws and it was a low blow, but the look in his wild eyes told me I had hit my mark.

"What?" He whispered.

"When you were dreaming on the couch. I saw her. She asked me to save you." His eyes momentarily softened.

"How?" He asked.

"I don't know, but we'll never figure anything out if we go back. I've been hearing Edward too! He wants me to go back, but I just can't!"

"Your leech wants you with his family? Yet Emily wants you to save me…" If his thoughts were anything like mine, none of it made any sense, but maybe it would be enough to make him keep me.

"This is all too much! Why are we seeing them? Hearing them? What am I supposed to do? Em, tell me what to do!" He cried and tugged at his hair.

"Love, let him take you home," Edward pleaded.

"No! Sam! You and Bella need to stay together!" Emily's faint image begged. Sam and I both looked on in disbelief.

"Are you seeing this?" I asked and he nodded a yes without taking his eyes off of Edward and Emily.

"Can I touch you?" I asked, reaching my hand out for Edward.

"I don't think so." He looked so sad, and when I tried he was proved correct. My hand went right through him. The sobs that erupted from me were painful and I fought to breathe.

"Bella! Save her you filthy mutt!" Edward yelled at Sam who was entranced by the apparition of Emily.

"You have to help her, darling. She is the only one who can help you through this. She is the only person I would entrust with you, my love." Emily smiled sweetly and Sam flew into action.

"Breathe, damn you!" Sam was shouting as he forced my airways to open. He must have laid me down… or maybe I fell, who can tell? Either way, Sam was forcing his own air into my lungs. My eyes stayed trained on Edward and Emily's vague shapes while Sam did what he could. Eventually his efforts paid off and I was, unfortunately, able to breathe again.

"Now what?" Sam shouted, but we were alone again. There was no Edward or Emily to answer our questions.

"Now what the fuck am I supposed to do with you? Jacob gave me an alpha order to bring you back! He forced me to give him our location in case I didn't return you within 24 hours! Now Emily's ghost, or whatever the fuck this shit is, is telling me to keep you here!" Sam was pacing the floor, overturning furniture and throwing anything he could get his hands on. His body shook with the restraint of not phasing. There were no words I could say to him and no actions that would soothe him. To be quite honest I thought I was simply insane until I realized that Sam was seeing and hearing the same things that I was. Maybe we were both crazy.

"Sam, I won't fight you on anything you do. This is too difficult on you to begin with. If you need to take me back to Forks then I will go willingly." I hung my head, knowing that I would be on my way to facing my sins soon.

Sam barked out a harsh laugh indicating that he would do just what he wanted either way. Then he slumped onto the floor in defeat.

"Do you think that Emily and your leech are really here? I mean, is that even possible?" He whispered.

"Sam, who would have ever believed that vampires and werewolves actually existed? To be honest, I don't know for sure, but one thing I have learned is that anything is possible."

"I just don't know what to do!" He tugged at his hair. "I want so badly to watch you suffer… and taking you back to face everyone would give me that, but Em wants me to be alone with you. Why in the hell would she think we could help one another?"

I shrugged. "We all know that I'm useless at anything besides causing grief, so don't ask me."

He chuckled darkly before agreeing. After a few moments of silence his head snapped up in the direction of the front door.

"It looks like my decision is being made for me. Apparently Jake must not have trusted me enough to wait." He stood slowly and I placed myself behind him, trying to remain as small as possible. Yeah, like they simply wouldn't notice me…

The door burst open and Jacob's large form burst through the door. He hadn't even bothered to change back to human. He let out a low growl as I cowered even further behind Sam.

"Oh, the hell with this! Bells!" Emmett pushed past Jake and Sam and had me wrapped in his gigantic arms. I could practically hear Edward sigh in relief and apparently so did everyone else present.

"What. The. Fuck?" Were Emmett's tactful words before all hell broke loose.

**Not as long as I wanted it to be, but I figured it was better than nothing after over 2 weeks with no update. So, what do you guys think?**


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm late, I know, but explain my need to write to my teething 6 month old who got sick from his stupid flu shot! He doesn't quite get it. Anywho, I don't own Twilight, blah blah blah…**

**Chapter 6**

**BPOV**

"What the fuck did you do to her you mangy mongrel?" Emmett had me in a vice grip and was glaring at Sam with a hatred I had never witnessed coming from him before.

"Ask her. She's the dumb bitch who goaded me into phasing next to her." Sam shrugged but before Emmett could even move, Jake had Sam's neck in his mouth.

"Jake! Stop!" There was no way I could let Jake kill someone he had looked at as a brother.

Jake's head snapped in my direction and he let out a low whine before dropping Sam to the ground and nuzzling me with his cold nose. I breathed in his earthy scent and wrapped my arms around his thick neck.

"Well, if Jake's not going to kill the fucker then I sure as hell am!" Emmett lunged at Sam and the house turned into a small battle field. Esme grabbed me, dragging me out of the fray and into the forest.

"Oh, Bella, we have been so worried!" She crushed me to her and sobbed tearlessly. I wanted to find comfort in her embrace but I couldn't keep my mind off of the fighting going on inside the small cabin.

"Esme, you have to stop them! Enough lives have been lost because of me! I can't…" I broke into a fit of sobs before I could finish my plea.

"Stay here," Esme ordered and ran in the direction of the cabin. What was probably minutes felt like hours as I waited to know the fate of everyone inside.

A wolf I recognized as Seth stepped into my line of sight and I ran to him.

"What happened? Is everyone all right?" Seth shook his head before walking back into the woods. He came back in human form and wrapped me into a tight hug.

"Bella, I'm so sorry! He gave me an order! I couldn't stop him!" Seth may have been in the body of a grown man but he was still just a confused kid.

"Shh, Seth, it wasn't your fault. It wasn't even Sam's fault. Imagine how you would feel if your whole world was ripped away from you. I don't blame him and neither should you." I ran my fingers through his hair in an attempt to soothe him.

"But you're… the scars… That's not acceptable no matter what he's dealing with. It wasn't your fault either Bella. You couldn't help who you loved any more than he could. We all suffered a loss here but that's no excuse for hurting you. Sam is messed up. He needs help." I nodded against him but knew that deep down I had played a part in the deaths of both Emily and Edward. Not to mention Sam and Emily's child.

"Baby Bells!" Emmett burst into the small clearing and ripped me from Seth's warm arms. "Don't you EVER do that shit to me again! I know you think this is your fault, but it's not! That bitch, Victoria caused this shit and the mutt needs to realize that! I am, however, pissed that you would give up! What about me? What about the rest of the family? You don't think that we need each other now more than ever?"

Emmett's rambling was cut off by everyone else joining us. I was passed around until I reached Carlisle who was determined to look me over to gauge the extent of my injuries. Sam growled as we walked past him and his whole body shook. Carlisle pulled me further away and I mouthed that I was sorry to Sam. He gave me a terse nod in return but said nothing.

"Bells," Jake breathed. He was finally in human form and I quickly pulled myself away from Carlisle and was immediately wrapped in his warmth.

"Jake! He's gone! They're gone and it's all my fault!" I continued to sob even after he lifted me into his arms and placed me into the awaiting car that one of them must have driven.

"Doc, can you check her out once we get her back to Forks? I just need…" Jake held me tighter but didn't finish his sentence. Carlisle must have nodded his acceptance because I didn't hear him.

"Is Sam all right?" I asked Jake who shot me a curious glance.

"The bastard is fine. Don't you worry about him." I could tell by Jake's answer that he was still thinking of ways to punish Sam.

"What's going to happen to him? It's not his fault, Jake. You can't blame him if I don't."

"The hell I can't! That son-of-a-bitch knew what he was doing! You didn't kill Emily, Victoria did and she's dead! He's just using your guilt as a way to make all of this okay in his eyes!" Jake's body shook and it was then that I noticed Paul in the front seat, driving.

"Calm down, boss. The girl has enough scars without you phasing on her." He winked back at me and I couldn't help the giggle and snort that escaped my lips. Leave it to Paul to state the obvious.

I looked out the window to see the Cullens and the wolves keeping pace with us in the woods. Emmett would occasionally make some sort of lewd gesture in an attempt to keep things light the only way he knew how. Every once in a while I would catch a glimpse of Sam's black fur, but he was always partially concealed by Jasper and Embry.

I took the quiet time that Jake was giving me to think back on everything that had happened. My mind drifted to the appearances of Edward and Emily and wondered if any of it was even real. Did anyone else hear Edward or were they too caught up in everything that was going on? Was it even real? Sam said he saw them too, but he wasn't the picture of mental stability himself.

"Be safe, love." The words were a whisper on the wind and Jake seemed to stiffen.

"Did you hear that?" I asked him.

"I think we both need some sleep, Bells. There's no way we just heard… Yeah, we need some sleep." He pulled me closer and closed his eyes, but there was no way I could sleep. Once Jake was snoring soundly I looked to Paul.

"You heard it, right Paul?"

"I don't know what the hell it was, but yeah, I heard it." I nodded, feeling better that I wasn't completely insane.

"Do you think it could be him? I mean, we saw Emily as well." Paul veered off the road a little but quickly regained control and waved of Carlisle who had come closer to the car.

"You actually _saw_ them?"

"Yeah, Sam and I both did. They talked to us, but I thought we were both crazy."

"Well, our people believe that the spirits of our loved ones live on, and it isn't unheard of for them to make an appearance if the ones they love are in need, but I've never personally seen it happen."

"So, you don't think I'm crazy?" I asked and Paul barked out a laugh.

"I didn't say that! I think you're nuttier than squirrel shit, but I won't discount the possibility that Emily and your leech came to you and Sam. Now go to sleep. You're giving me a headache."

"Okay, Paul." I couldn't sleep, but closed my eyes anyway.

When we reached the Cullen's home I heard Paul let out a low "oh shit" and looked up to see Sam and Emmett literally at each other's throats.

"Ah hell!" Jake handed me to Paul who looked shocked and I signaled for him to put me down. I was capable of standing. He put me down but kept a restraining arm around me.

"Enough!" Jake yelled causing Sam to stop fighting. Emmett grinned.

"I could rip you apart right now and you couldn't do anything about it," Emmett taunted.

"Em, stop!" I screamed and everyone looked in my direction. "I've had enough violence! Leave Sam alone!"

Paul let me go and I ran to Sam's side, checking him for any injuries. He growled at me but I ignored him and continued my inspection. It was difficult to tell if he was hurt through all of his thick fur but he let out a small whimper when my hand probed his right shoulder.

"Carlisle, can you take a look?" I asked.

"Of course," he replied "if Sam will allow it."

Sam growled but Jake ordered him to be still while Carlisle looked him over.

"His shoulder is bruised and a muscle is torn, but he is already healing. He will be fine. Now, Bella, I would really like to check you out. Can you come inside and we'll go to my office?"

I nodded but as I went to walk away Sam took my shirt in between his teeth and pulled me back to him with a growl. There were hisses and growls coming from every direction.

"Carlisle, can Sam come with us?" I pleaded, hoping to avoid another fight.

"Well, he won't fit in the house in that form, but if he phases back human and you don't mind then I suppose that would be all right." I could tell that he was still unsure. It was Jake, however who went on a rant about it.

"Sam, you are not to go anywhere near her! Bells is too forgiving for her own good, but I'm not and there is no way in hell that you're gonna' be within reach of her again! Now let her go!"

Sam shook and I could tell that he was struggling not to follow Jake's order. He finally released me but as soon as he did the tremors became worse and he was finally laying naked in his human form.

"She owes me!" Sam spat.

"She owes you nothing, dog! Have you forgotten that she lost someone as well?" Alice screamed as Jasper restrained her from attacking Sam.

"If she would have stayed away from him then nothing would have happened!" Sam yelled back.

"Well, then blame us! If we hadn't come here to begin with then there would have been no choice to be made and you would never have phased to begin with! You would also have never known the feeling of Emily's love, so think about that before you start pointing fingers at innocent girls!" I had never heard Alice so angry before and was surprised to see Sam break down in sobs.

"Oh, Sam," I sighed and curled myself protectively around him.

"Bella, you need to back away. He's not in control of his emotions," Jasper warned, but I paid him no mind. Sam and I were the only ones who understood the extent of the pain he was feeling.

"I'm so sorry!" Sam cried, but I had a feeling that it was meant for Emily and not me. Either way I was okay with that. He needed to let out the anguish in some way other than anger. I held my hand up to keep everyone back.

"Come on, Sam. Let's go inside. You need to rest." He stood wordlessly and lifted me into his arms.

"Let's go to my office. After I see to Bella's injuries you can rest in the guest room, Sam." Carlisle was unsure, but knew that there was no way Sam would put me down without a fight breaking out. He was highly unpredictable in his current thought and while I didn't mind if he accidentally killed me I knew it would pain everyone else. After Emmett pointed out just how selfish I had been I knew that I had to stay alive, if only for my family. No matter how desperately I wanted to be reunited with my Edward, I couldn't leave my family to suffer. They deserved so much more after all they had sacrificed for me and I wouldn't let them down again.

"Bella, I need to remove your shirt to get a good look at the scarring." I nodded and Sam let out another growl when Carlisle asked him to turn away.

"I've seen it all already. There is no need for me to look away now. Who do you think sealed the wounds to begin with?" Sam spat.

"You sealed the wounds? How?" Carlisle, ever the doctor.

"With my saliva. It has healing properties."

"So, she has werewolf saliva running through her veins? Shit." I had never heard Carlisle curse and I wondered what the problem was.

"Bella, if you were ever to be in a situation where you were dying, we couldn't change you. Our venom is deadly to a wolf and if we were to try and change you… you would die, Bella. You will be forced to remain human."

To be honest I didn't want immortality without Edward, so I wasn't bothered, but I knew that Carlisle was beside himself. Regardless of everything that had happened, he saw me as his daughter, and now he knew that there was no "last resort" option.

"Carlisle, I would be deal already if he hadn't done that, and I don't want to change without Edward anyway. It will be fine." I patted his hand reassuringly. Carlisle still didn't look pleased, but seemed to be resigned to the idea. I could hear commotion going on downstairs, but chose to simply tune it out. I'm sure it had to do with the fact that I was more entwined with the wolves now and what that meant for my future, and that was a subject I didn't want to think about at all. The future was bleak and thinking about it made me lose my resolve to stay healthy for my family. I couldn't… no, I wouldn't do that to them.

"Well, you look to have healed nicely, but I am afraid that the scars are there to stay." Carlisle sighed and shook his head.

"It's fine. I don't plan on trying to impress anyone with what's underneath my clothes anyway." I shrugged and Carlisle gave me a sad smile.

"Yes, well, have you noticed any other effects of the wolf saliva?" I thought about it and it was like a light bulb went on.

"Afterwards I noticed that I _had_ to obey Sam. It was almost like I was subject to an alpha command." I looked at Sam who seemed to be thinking about how I obeyed him as well.

"Hmm, that's not something that I have ever encountered. Sam?" Carlisle looked to him.

"It didn't seem to have that effect on Emily when I used it to heal her." Sam shrugged.

"Maybe it has something to do with why Edward couldn't read your mind…" Carlisle and Sam turned their attention to the door.

"That would make perfect sense, Jasper. I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner!" Carlisle looked excited.

"Can someone clue in the human that doesn't possess super-human hearing?" I asked.

"You're a shield, Bella, although I have never come across one who showed powers in their human form. It's why Edward or Are couldn't read you! If you were capable of being changed you would be a very powerful shield indeed."

"Shit!" At the mention of Aro, I forgot all about my apparent power and remembered a certain agreement to be changed. I didn't worry about my own death, but I knew that my familes, vampire and wolf alike would fight for me.

"What, Bella?" Carlisle asked, suddenly alarmed.

"The Volturi. I was supposed to be changed."

"Shit," Carlisle echoed my previous sentiment.

**Well, there you have it! Emmett's big WTF was from catching a glimpse of Bella's scars. I apologize ahead of time if I am not able to respond to any reviews, but I figure that you guys care about me spending more time on writing, right? Especially those of you who are also reading Major Changes… But I will still be reading every review and enjoying them! If you have a particular question I will do my best to answer, however!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters.**

**Thanks for all the reviews, favorites, and alerts! You guys are the best!**

**Chapter 7**

**BPOV**

"What the fuck is a Volturi?" Sam stood with his arms crossed over his chest and scowled.

"They are the rulers of our kind." Carlisle then went on to explain everything that had happened in Volterra and the promise that was made as a result.

"Well, that's just fucking great isn't it? We go from one war to another! And what happens when these Volturi find out about the pack? All it would take is for this Aro leech to touch one of you and he would know!" Sam was furious, and with good reason. Everything he said was true, and once again I was the catalyst for everything wrong in the whole fucked up situation.

"We have time," Alice stated, stepping into the room. "I'll see any decisions before they make them and we'll be able to formulate a plan."

I sighed, knowing that when the time came I would simply go to Volterra and surrender myself to protect the Cullens and the pack. Alice hissed and glared at me, probably seeing a vision stemming from that very decision, but said nothing.

"Well, I guess that's all we can do, right? I just want this all to end!" Sam dropped himself onto the couch in Carlisle's study and I went to his side.

"I have a plan. It will be fine. Stop worrying." I tried to soothe him and even though he huffed he let it go.

"Bella, dear, I think it would be best if you got some sleep," Carlisle prodded, but I had no idea where to go. I couldn't bear to sleep in the bed that Edward bought for me.

"Come on, Bella, the guest room is all set up." Alice took my hand to lead me but was stopped by Sam.

"No fighting. I'm too tired. Sam, just come with me." I didn't wait for an answer, choosing to instead just grab his hand and lead him up the stairs. I paid no attention to what he was doing as a wave of lethargy hit me hard. I gave a nod of thanks to Jasper who stood in the doorway and was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

I awoke, covered in a think sheen of sweat with a heavy weight on my chest. Looking down, I saw that the heavy weight was Sam's arm and the sweat was from the heat his body was putting off. He was snoring softly and as much as I didn't want to wake him, my bladder felt like it would explode. After about five minutes of wriggling I was able to free myself from his hold and made my way to the bathroom.

"Sleep well?" I jumped and let out a squeak of surprise as Jasper's quiet voice greeted me.

"Yes, thanks for the help, Jasper. I haven't slept well since… well, you know." I looked at the floor and felt Jasper push some sympathy at me.

"We're all here, you know. You don't have to do this." Jasper tilted his head toward the open bedroom door.

"I know, but he lost someone too. Not just someone… he lost a child, Jasper. I know you all think that he's a monster, but he's just grieving. How would you feel if you and Alice had a chance at being parents and not only was Alice taken from you, but that one chance at a real family."

"I would probably kill anyone who crossed my path. But you are my sister, Bella… You are family and we don't like seeing you hurt. Edward always trusted us to take care of you. I can't let him down again." Poor Jasper still hadn't forgiven himself for the events of that fateful birthday.

"Jasper," I began, but he held up a hand to stop me. Instead of speaking he approached me cautiously and slowly wrapped his arms around me. I immediately began sobbing, letting the grief and guilt wash over me like a flood.

Out of nowhere, I was out of Jasper's arms and he was crouched in front of me in a protective stance.

"Bella, come here," Sam ordered and I immediately began to obey before Jasper stopped me.

"Bella, he's enraged right now and not thinking rationally. I can't let you go over there." Jasper warned.

"Let her go, leech!" Sam bellowed.

"Jasper, please. You're going to make this so much worse. He'll calm down. Please," I begged. He nodded and let me go, but not before growling at Sam.

As soon as I reached him, he pushed me behind him into the bedroom and closed the door. Sam paced back and forth, muttering under his breath. I knew better than to speak when he was like that, so instead I sat on the bed and picked at a loose string on my shirt. Finally he let out a long breath and sat down next to me.

"I don't know what to do." His voice was small, reminding me of a child. "Emily said… she wanted us to help one another, but I feel so much hate! I don't know how to get past it."

"Sam," I whispered, a sob breaking free from my mouth. This was what everyone else couldn't see. Yes, he had been cruel with me, but he was barely even in control of himself at all. I was the reason for the end of life as he knew it and he needed to feel like he was doing something to avenge Emily and his child, even if it meant going against everything he had always believed in.

"It's all right to be confused and angry. I understand, and so will everyone else. You just need to sit them down and explain. I'll help you – I'll talk to Jake." He looked at me through watery eyes before nodding his head.

"Okay, well, I'm going to go downstairs and get some food then I'm going to talk to the pack." I stood up and he grabbed my arm.

"I'm coming with you." His tone told me that it wasn't up for discussion so I just nodded my agreement.

"Morning, Bells!" Emmett boomed as we reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Morning," I mumbled.

"Sam, eat your breakfast then go and run patrols." Jake's voice was cold and sounded nothing like the boy I had once known. This had taken a toll on him as well. Sam shook and growled, but I could see that his body was being forced to obey.

"Jake," I pleaded with my eyes for him to take it easy but he just gave me a tight smile and pushed a plate full of food in my direction.

We ate in silence and Sam and Jake continued to glare at one another. When Sam finished eating I could tell that he was fighting to resist the Alpha order but with a sharp reprimand from Jake he was out the door.

"Jake, we need to talk about the way you and the pack are treating Sam." I looked around the room. "We _all_ need to talk about the way Sam is being treated."

I took a deep breath and continued. "I know that you all think that he is a heartless bastard, but he lost everything. He is just dealing with this the only way he knows how. Rose, how would you feel if your child was killed because of someone else's choices?"

She growled and I knew that she understood.

"And how would any of you feel about losing your mate because of someone else? You would want to kill everyone responsible, right? Well, Sam just lost both, so cut him some slack. I know that he is not himself at the moment, but he is getting better. He is trying… we both are. Just let him have his way for a while and things will get better."

"Bells, it's no excuse. I don't care what you say, and you are too forgiving for your own damn good. If you aren't going to protect yourself then it falls on us to do it for you." Jake was stubborn, he always had been but there had to be a way to make him see.

"As much as I hate to agree with the mutt on ANYTHING, he's right Bella-boo. We can't just sit by and let him hurt you. We love you and Edward would want you safe." I cringed at Emmett using Edward's name.

"I understand that, I really do, but you have to trust me on this. I promise to protect myself as much as I can, but things are going to get better. Tell then, Paul."

Paul looked startled that he was being brought into the conversation at all.

"He's calming down. I think the worst is over. You just have to all give in to him for a little while. Don't fight him when he wants to be close to her. It will only anger him and make everything harder for everyone. And now that he's seen Emily…" he trailed off, unsure of how much I wanted revealed.

I sighed and told them the whole story of our time in the cabin, skimming over the more violent parts. They all listened as I told them of the appearances of Edward and Emily. Esme fought back a sob and I felt Jasper trying to calm the room.

"Look, I don't care what you think you saw, I can't let you be around him, Bells." Jake stood his ground.

"It's not your choice Jake! Emily wants me to help him and if I can give her this one final gift then why not? She wouldn't ask me to do it if he was going to really hurt me."

"Look at you, Bella! Look at your scars! He already has hurt you! No! I'll banish him if I have to!"

"Jake, come on man," Paul tried to reason with him but I could see that Jake was going to fight me every step of the way.

"Jake, either you ease up on him… or I'll leave. Whether you believe it or not this is my fault and I am going to do whatever I can to make it right. So if you banish him then I go with him."

Jake shook his head, defeated and let out a sigh. "Fine, have it your way, but he cannot hurt you anymore. I draw the line there. He hurts you again and he's gone. The Cullens and I will physically restrain you from leaving if we have to.

I nodded my agreement and smiled softly before running out the door and calling for Sam. Somehow I knew he hadn't gone far. When the giant black wolf stepped out of the tree line I ran over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"I got them to listen. Things will be better, I promise! I'm going to help you through this for Emliy." He whimpered a little then growled as Jake made his way toward us but eventually nodded and went back into the woods to finish his patrol. Deciding that I had enough excitement for the time being, I made my way to Edward's room where I sat on the floor and cried.

**Don't forget to let me know what you think! And for all my Paul lovers out there, I have written a new one shot… it's sort of smutty so it's for adults only, but I hope you love my tattoo'd Paul as much as I do!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Yes, I know it has been forever, and for those of you who are still with me, I thank you. There will be an A/N at the end telling you how I hope for this to go from now on.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. That's all SM, but I do enjoy playing with them.**

**SPOV**

Time seemed to go on, even though I wished for death. What was life without my heart? It had been two months since I had seen Emily's ghost, or whatever the hell you want to call it. She never reappeared and neither did Bella's leech. I had begged and pleaded for the pack to kill me. Hell, I even asked the Cullens, but no one would budge. I was restless and spent as much time as the wolf as possible. I had been gone for a week when Jake's voice popped into my head.

"_You need to come home."_ He spoke, but did not use an alpha command.

"_Why would I do that?_" I snorted.

"_I don't care one way or another, but Bella wants to say goodbye."_

"_Yeah? And where is the little leech lover going?"_ I hid my thoughts on just how affected I was by that statement. Where was she going? How long would she be gone?

"_She won't say. Only that things have become too hard for her and that she doesn't want to be around all the reminders. She's leaving the Cullens too."_ After all she had put Jake through he still loved her and she was leaving him. He deserved so much better than her. She did not deserve to move on.

"_Sam, do NOT think of her that way. Now I don't give a fuck whether you come back or not, but she's waiting for you so I need to tell her."_

"_And you're just going to let her go?"_ I asked, disbelieving.

"_What else can I do? I just want her to be happy. Are you coming or not?" _ I could hear the impatience in his tone.

I told him I would be there and took off running. If I didn't get to be free of the burden, of the pain, then neither did she. Admittedly, she hadn't done anything to anger me. If anything, she did everything possible to soothe me. When I was home I slept in her bed. Charlie had caught me once and never said anything. I could see the pity in his eyes. He thought his daughter was just comforting me. In reality, my reasons for being gone so often were more than anyone knew. I was having thoughts about Bella that I hated. And I hated myself for having them. I missed Emily, but my body wanted a physical release. And Bella was so like my Emily, which made me hate her even more. She was kind and understanding. She never faulted me for anything I had done to her, and stood up for me to anyone who did.

If she hadn't been the reason for my Emily's death I may have actually gotten over the fact that she was a leech lover. But Emily was gone, and Bella was responsible.

"Sam," My name from Bella's mouth alerted me to the fact that I had made it back to Forks. I had seen in Jake's thoughts that Bella was at the Cullen's place, but I didn't remember running there. My wolf instinctually growled at the leeches standing behind her, but Bella distracted me by pressing her nose into my black pelt. Her body was shaking and I immediately phased back so that she could explain.

"Jake says you're leaving." I stated and she nodded.

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know, I just need to get away." I could see that she was lying and it bothered me. I looked to the leech who could read emotions. He knew she was lying too, but simply shrugged. The seer was frazzled and I knew that meant that she had no idea either.

"Let's take a walk," I suggested.

"Uh, okay, but could you get dressed first?" She blushed and her eyes drifted to my dick. I shrugged, but put on the shorts that Jake threw to me. Once I knew we were out of ear shot I spoke.

"So, where are you really going?"

"I told you, I don't know."

"_Sam"_ Emily's voice whispered faintly in my ear. I turned around but couldn't see her and Bella didn't seem to hear her.

"_She's lying, baby, and you have to stop her. She's going to sacrifice…"_ Emily's voice had been faint to start from and she sounded like she was expelling a lot of energy, but then it died out all together. I mourned the loss, but one word rang out in my mind.

"Sacrifice?" Bella's head turned sharply in my direction, her eyes wide with fear. "What are you going to sacrifice Bella? And don't lie to me!" I grabbed her arms and shook her. I would not allow her to sacrifice anyone else.

"Me," she whispered. "I'm going to sacrifice me."

I dropped her arms as if they burned me and took a step back. For some reason a pain shot through my chest and I almost hit my knees.

"What are you fucking talking about?" I gritted out between clenched teeth.

"The Volturi. Alice saw them coming, and a war. She doesn't know that I overheard her. She was too distracted I guess. I can't let anyone else die for me, Sam. I owe this to everyone. I owe it to you." Her voice cracked on the last sentence and she fought back tears that threatened to fall.

I stood in silence for a long while, just watching her. Big brown eyes stayed focused on mine and I remembered Emily's voice. She wanted me to stop her. But why? All I knew was that I would do whatever Emily asked of me. Real or imagined, her voice was the only one that mattered.

"No." My voice was firm and Bella immediately stiffened. I remembered from the cabin that she seemed almost forced to obey me, and I took full advantage.

"You will not go." Bella's body revolted. She was trying to fight the pull she felt to obey. It was almost like an… alpha command. I could control her. I smiled with that knowledge.

"Please, Sam," she pleaded. "I have to do this. I can't let anyone else die for me! If I die to save others… well, Emily will be avenged! It was all my fault anyway!" She tried to play on my feelings for Emily, but little did she know that Emily was my reasoning for stopping her.

"No, Bella. You will stay. It's time that I went home and you are coming with me." I smirked at the look on her face. She had no idea what to say.

"What? I can't… Charlie."

"You will tell Charlie that you and I have gotten close and you want to live with me. We will deal with the rest later. Did the seer say when she saw them coming?" She shook her head and I knew I would need to ask, but first there were things I would need to handle.

"You are to come with me and obey my every command without question. Do you understand?" She nodded, with a bewildered look on her face and I felt the power of being in command of someone again flowing through me.

"Good. Let's go." She dropped her head, her lips pressed tightly together, and followed behind me.

**Yes, I know it's short, but my child is all over and into everything! And my husband is gone for a few months for work so I get no time to myself. But I am determined to finish this even if the chapters are short. I will try to update as much as possible. I understand if you all want to tell me to piss off. I would if I were you, but I am going to try to write as much as possible until it is finished.**

**I won't ask for reviews since I don't deserve them. I just hope some of you are still with me ;)**


	9. Chapter 9

**You guys have blown me away with how many of you guys have stuck around! Thanks so much for the response! You guys are amazing! Sorry I didn't get to respond to everyone's reviews, but I read and loved everyone. Plus, I figured you guys would rather I write than respond ;)**

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, as do Bella and the whole Twilight crew.**

**Chapter 9**

**BPOV**

Every thought in my head rebelled against Sam's commands, but it was as if my body was forced to obey. My mind reeled with the reasons behind it, but the only thing I could think of was that my brain always worked differently and I didn't have this problem until… his saliva. But how could the two be related? I mean I was sure that I wasn't the first human to have contact with their saliva, but did it have something to do with why Edward couldn't read my mind? I was broken out of my thoughts by Jasper's cool hand on my arm and Sam's growling.

"Just calm down now, Bella was just puttin' off some serious emotions and I was just gonna' ask her about it." Sam's growling continued and he ordered me to pull away from Jasper. My body immediately complied and Jasper cocked his head when he felt my confusion and my need to rebel.

"What the hell is going on here?" Jake demanded.

"Well, it seems as if little Bella was going to run to the Volturi and sacrifice herself. Luckily, she seems forced to obey any order I give her, so here we are." Sam shrugged and smirked at Jake who was trembling with rage.

"Bella?" Jake asked through his clenched teeth.

"I didn't want anyone else to fight for me! I heard Alice saying that they are coming! I was supposed to be turned! If they come here they will find out about the pack! Someone else could die and I can't let that happen!" I cried and Jake pulled me into his warm, comforting arms.

Sam growled and Jake growled back. Sam shivered and I could see that he would phase any second.

"Jake, let me go." I struggled to remove myself from his arms. If I didn't return to Sam I knew they would fight and I couldn't allow that. Sam just needed to feel in control of something and that something was me.

Jake grudgingly released me and I stood in front of Sam and placed my hands on his cheeks.

"Get behind me, and tell them that you are coming home with me," He growled and I immediately complied. My movements were stiff, from the compulsion to fight the order and everyone picked up on it.

"Jasper?" Carlisle asked, obviously wanting to know what I was feeling.

"She doesn't want to obey, but it seems that she has to," Jasper answered.

"It seems that her mental shield must have some physical properties. Sam, how much of your saliva was used to heal her?" Carlisle's face was tight with worry.

"As much as it took," He sneered.

"I can't know for sure, but I think that Bella is a shield, and somehow your saliva must have bonded with that." Carlisle shook his head slowly and my eyes widened in realization of what he was implying.

"Am I going to become a wolf?" I asked, panicked.

"No, it doesn't work that way, Bella," Jake shook his head sadly.

Fat, salty tears rolled down my cheeks. I wanted to help Sam and was ready to atone for my part in Emily's death and the death of their child, but being forced to obey him forever? I didn't think I could handle that. Sam had every right to be angry and cruel with me, but I wondered just how far he would take it. Not knowing actually scared me a little.

"What's hap-p-pening to m-me?" I cried.

Jake and the Cullens all moved forward to comfort me but Sam growled low and menacingly as his whole body shivered with the urge to phase.

"Sam, stand down!" Jake's alpha timber bounced off the trees and Sam smiled. I noticed that he didn't obey.

"Can't order a wolf that isn't a part of your pack anymore," Sam sneered.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Jake bellowed.

"I don't recognize you or the pack anymore. I'm free of you and your _orders_."

I felt a wave of calm flow over me and looked to Jasper. His gold eyes shone with worry. Alice tugged at her spiky hair, the fear of not knowing was getting to her. Once again, the people I cared for were in torment. I hated it.

"Can't someone just give him a Scooby snack?" Ah, Emmett. The resounding smack of Rosalie popping him in the back of the head almost made me giggle. And I would have had the situation not been so serious.

"No more fighting please. I'm tired and I want to go home." I rested my head on Sam's bare back, not thinking or caring how he would react. The exhaustion that had been steadily building since Edward's death was threatening to do me in. I suppose it didn't help that eating had become something I forced myself to do. I was just. So. Tired. Before I had time to think about it I was in Sam's arms and my head was on his shoulder.

"Just where the hell do you think you're taking her?" Jake shouted.

"Please, Jake," I pleaded, "not tonight."

"You sleep at your house tonight and tomorrow we talk to Charlie," Sam whispered as he carried me. I nodded and must have fallen asleep because I woke up in my bed with the sun shining through the windows and Sam draped across my chest and stomach. A throat clearing snapped me out of my reverie and I saw Charlie standing in the doorway. He nodded his head indicating that he wanted to talk to me. Sam grumbled when I tried to move, so I whispered to him that I was going to talk to Charlie and he grunted his acceptance as he let me go.

"Bells, you and Sam have been spending a lot of time together. Now I wouldn't let him sleep in your bed if I thought there was something going on. There isn't anything going on, is there?" Charlie raised an eyebrow and I noticed the tips of his ears were red. My dad was blushing.

"No, Dad, it's nothing like that. Believe me. We are both just having a hard time and helping each other through it. I'm still… you know." We both cringed at the thought of even having that awkward talk again.

Charlie blew out a long breath. "Well, that's fine then."

"But I do have something to talk to you about. Um, Sam asked me to move in with him. See, he can't sleep without someone there and neither can I, so we thought we could live together. At least for a little while." I hated lying to my dad, and by the shade of almost purple that his face was turning I could tell that he was not pleased.

"Bells, I really can't tell you what to do. You're 18 and while I don't like this, there's not much I can do about it. You say you guys are just friends and I accept that, but you're still my baby girl and I still worry about you."

All that time I had been worried about my supernatural families and I completely forgot about my real family. My dad stuck by me when Edward left and he never pushed me then or after Edward died. I was so willing to sacrifice myself for everyone else, but how would Charlie feel if he never saw me again? How would he have felt had I been changed and disappeared? I quickly wrapped my arms around my dad and told him just how much I loved him. His returning hug was a bit awkward, but I felt his love anyway.

"So, uh, you gonna' be living' on the res? I mean, won't that be weird for him to have another woman live in his house with Emily?"

"We won't be living there," Sam answered as he came down the steps. Charlie was the one person he was still remotely polite to and that was probably because Charlie was a man that everyone respected. And he had nothing to do with the supernatural world that cost him Emily.

"So, where you kids gonna' be moving to?" I looked to Sam for the answer.

"I rented a place between here and the res. It's set back in the woods a bit." Charlie turned his back to get another cup of coffee and Sam smiled at me. His smile was intimidating, and with my new-found will to live for my dad, it scared the shit out of me.

**So, what do you think? Sam knows he is on control and no longer follows Jake. And Bella has finally found her will to live…. What will happen next?**


	10. Chapter 10

**If you're not old enough to buy a pack of smokes, or join the military then you should not be reading this! It is of a graphic sexual nature. That's right pervs… put on your perv hats and grab some popcorn.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters, they all belong to SM and Summit. Damn!**

**Chapter 10**

**BPOV**

The house Sam rented was much better than I had imagined it would be like the cabin he took me to before, but it was actually homey. It was furnished with dark, warm furniture and everything was in neutral tones. And thankfully it was clean because I was too exhausted to worry about it. My only worry was how Sam would handle his new-found power over me.

"So, how far did you go with the leech?" His deep voice caused a shiver to run down my spine.

"What do you mean?" I asked with a shaky voice as his finger trailed down the side of my neck.

"Sex, Bella," He whispered in my ear.

"We never… I'm a virgin." A growl erupted from his chest in my ear and my stomach flipped nervously.

"Hmm… You know, Bella, because of you my Emily and my child are gone."

"I know, and I am so sorry, Sam," I sobbed as he ran his nose under my ear.

"I think you owe me, Bella." I trembled at the deceivingly calm tone of his voice.

"I told you I'll do anything I can to help you." The tears streamed down my face and I felt his hand creeping up the front of my shirt.

"Well, you can't bring my Emily back, but you could give me a child."

I froze. The blood rushed in my ears as I wondered if he was implying what I thought he was. There was no way he could have been serious, but by the way his hands were roaming my body, I knew that he was.

"Sam, please don't. Any child I could give you wouldn't be Emily's child." I wasn't afraid of sex with Sam. It wasn't exactly on my list of things I wanted to do, but if it made up for his loss I could do it. But giving him a child? That was a lifetime commitment… unless he planned to just take the baby from me. No, I couldn't give him that. Especially with the threat of the Volturi looming over our heads.

"But it would be mine. I could order you, you know." My body stiffened with the threat and he chuckled darkly.

"Sam, please, don't bring a baby into this situation. I'll… I'll have sex with you if you need that. But, do you really think that this is a good time to have a baby." Maybe I could reason with him. Maybe a "maybe later" would pacify him.

"Hmm… perhaps you are right, but that does not stop me from wanting it. I suppose we will just have to see what happens. Because I do plan on fucking you, Bella. I am not going to use any protection ad if it happens I will take it as a sign that it was supposed to happen."

Sam's eyes were wild and I feared for what would happen to me if I didn't agree. The Sam that I used to know would never hurt a woman, but he was most certainly not in his right mind. Could I just go along with what he wanted? Without Edward there was no purpose to my life anyway, and I never planned on giving my virginity to anyone but him, but Edward was never coming back so what did it matter?

"Okay, Sam." I gave my consent, knowing that he didn't need it, but not wanting to risk him losing what may have been left from Sam's Emily by letting him do it without consent.

"Go to the bedroom an strip. I want you on your knees waiting for me." I gulped and immediately complied with his wishes.

**SPOV**

A baby. The answer was as clear as day. Emily would give me back my baby through Bella. It would be her final gift to me.

"I'm just sorry that I have to touch her to do it, Em. I only want you." I whispered, hoping that she could hear me wherever she was.

When I reached the bedroom, Bella was just as I instructed her. The heater was off and her whole body was covered in goose flesh. Her small nipples were hard as stone. As much as I didn't want to be turned on by the sight of her there I couldn't help it. She was beautiful and her natural submissive nature was just what the monster in me needed. The fact that she was compelled to obey me was just another plus.

I felt myself grow hard in my pants and I removed them immediately. When I stood in front of her she lifted her face and gasped.

"Yes, this is going to be in you, but for now I am going to show you how to please me with your mouth. No open." I ordered and she immediately complied. The fear in her eyes told me that she had never even attempted such a thing. The remnants of my former self told me to be gentle with her so as easily as possible so I slid my length into her mouth, slowly, letting her adjust to the intrusion. She never made a sound until I reached the beck of her throat and she gagged.

"Breathe through your nose and relax your throat," I instructed. She did as I said and I began to move. Her mouth was hot and slick with saliva and felt so damn good. Her teeth slightly grazed my shaft and I hissed in pleasure. Slowly, I began to smell arousal coming from her. It was sweet and tangy all at the same time and made my balls tighten. I didn't want to waste my seed and her mouth released me with a pop.

"Get on the bed. Now." She obeyed, her eyes darkened with a misture of fear and arousal.

"I am not a complete monster. I will give you pleasure first." She nodded and gulped audibly. I lowered myself between her knees . She glistened and I ran a finger between her folds.

"Oh," she whimpered as I ran my thumb over her clit.

"Have you ever had an orgasm before?" I asked in shock. Had her leech done nothing for her? The shake of her head told me that he hadn't. "Then this will be even sweeter."

I flicked out my tongue to touch the little bundle of nerves and the if the moan that left her mouth was any indication, she was feeling nothing but pleasure. The thought made me tense. The monster only wanted her to feel pain, but the man in me wanted it to be good for her. I slipped one finger inside her wetness as my tongue worked her over. She writhed and panted beneath me before she cried out loudly. I lapped up the remnants of her orgasm and laid myself on top of her. I learned from both Emily and Leah that it the pain was over quicker if I just thrust in quickly immediately after an orgasm so that's what I did.

She cried out from the pain of it and I laid perfectly still while my balls pulsed with the need to come in her tightness. Once her face released most of its tension I began to move.

"I hate that you feel so fucking good," I moaned as I bent down to bite her nipple. A squeak left her mouth but she never gave any other indication that she was in pain. I wanted to feel her squeeze me and I knew that would only happen with outside stimulation her first time. I rubbed her clit furiously. It was still swollen and extremely sensitive from before and she reacted immediately. I increased the pace of my thrusts to match the rhythm my finger was setting against her nub.

"Oh… oh… ahhh," her body tensed and her pussy throbbed around me causing me to cum in hot spurts inside her. I thrust one more time and cried out.

"Go clean up and come back," I ordered as I pulled out of her. Tears of shame escaped her eyes as she ran to the bathroom. I knew how she felt. I was ashamed that I had enjoyed her as well. I had thought I would picture only Emily as I fucked her, but no. I saw Bella. I saw how my dark skin looked against her porcelain casing of hers. It was a beautiful sight. And her fucking face when she came… it was gentle and shocked. Her puffy lips made a perfect "o" and her eyes crossed just slightly. It was amazing.

I shook my head to clear the thoughts. When she emerged from the bathroom I took in everything about her. There was a purple mark on her right breast where I had unknowingly marked her in my passion.

"Come here." My voice had taken on a husky quality and I immediately hardened at the sight of her naked body, but she would not be ready and we both needed to come to terms with what we had done. I felt like I had betrayed Emily and I was sure that she felt the same about her leech. Bella laid next to me and I threw a possessive arm over her waist and ordered her to sleep.

I fell asleep dreaming of the time when I could have her again, because regardless of my shame it had felt good to feel something again. Something other than hate and the pain of my loss. Even though I was ashamed it felt amazing and I wanted it again. The plan had been to fuck her until I impregnated her, but I didn't know if I could give up the only feeling of pleasure I had allowed myself since before Emily's death.

**I know some of you want to shoot me right now. You're thinking there is no way this could be possible. But remember this is not about feelings for them. Sam wants a baby… he just didn't expect to actually enjoy the process. And neither did Bella.**

**I may not be able to update again for 2 weeks since my mom is coming out today and I haven't seen her in 6 months. This is why I worked so hard to get this out today. I am using it as a peace offering incase I don't get to write while she is here ;)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters. If I did I'd be living on a private island in Washington State. Really, there's one for sale for $13 million. Nostalgicmiss and I are trying to figure out a way to buy it! LOL! Speaking of the lovely Nostalgicmiss, I was just visiting her and Hev99… two of the most awesome chicks in the world!**

**Sorry about the lack of updates but I wanted to reach a point where I could update daily before posting again. Barring any internet loss, that is the way it will be. This story will be finished first, then Running Home. I think I overwhelmed myself a little ;)**

**Chapter 11**

**BPOV**

I woke feeling sore and exhausted. I slept, but only because I had been commanded to. The shame and guilt for feeling any pleasure from my time with Sam made me want to curl in a ball and die. I hated that I enjoyed his touch, and even worse I hated that he was the one to give me my first orgasm. I felt dirty and used, but I knew that I would do it again when he wanted to. It was my punishment. I shouldn't have enjoyed it at all. I felt like I had betrayed Edward in the worst way possible.

"Stop thinking about it," Sam ordered, his voice still laced with sleep. My body immediately complied and for the first time I was grateful for whatever it was that forced me to obey him. I didn't want to think about it, especially since it would do no good.

"Are you sore?" He asked gruffly.

"Yes," I squeaked, feeling the reason he was asking digging into my ass.

"Hmm, go take some Advil and meet me in the bathroom." I had gotten used to the way he always spoke in orders to me and easily complied.

When I got to the bathroom I saw that the tub had been filled with hot water. It was almost too kind of a gesture for Sam to have done it.

"It will help with the soreness and I want you again, so get in." Ah, I knew there had to be a reason behind any kindness from him. But regardless, I sunk into the tub, allowing the hot water to scald my skin. I soaked until the water began to cool and Sam ordered me to go to the bed and wait for him, which I did. My mind may have been disgusted but my body seemed to be ready for what Sam would give me. As soon as he stepped into the room, the air changed. It became charged with an electricity that I couldn't describe as Sam's eyes roamed over my naked body.

"I hate that you're so damn beautiful." He stalked toward me, looking every bit like the predator I knew him to be.

"I hate that my body reacts to you. That I want you." He snarled and I watched as he palmed himself, stroking slowly. My body was on fire, preparing for the pleasure he would bring.

"You will not think about your vampire, or anything other than being with me," he ordered and I gulped loudly but nodded.

He settled himself between my legs and my body tightened instinctively.

"Already ready for me I see," he chuckled darkly. "I suppose you will become mine in some form, won't you?"

Slowly, he sank into me. My body was tense and sore from the previous night, but slick with arousal. My back arched when he was fully seated inside my heat to which he hissed. His eyes closed tightly for a moment before narrowing. He was angry, and probably just as sickened as I was with what we were doing, but as he ordered, all I could think of was the way his body moved with mine. My mouth opened in a silent scream as he used his thumb in the little bundle of nerves above where we were joined. The look on his face changed and before I knew what was happening, his lips were forcefully claiming mine. His tongue entered my mouth and he kissed me like I had never been kissed before. It was angry and harsh, and occasionally his teeth would nip at my bottom lip so hard I thought there would be blood. When he moaned into my mouth I knew he was close and it sent me over the edge. I cried out, the sound muffled by his possessive lips covering my own. I felt him twitch inside me and when he threw his head back and stilled I knew he was done.

Sam's body covered mine until I felt like I couldn't breathe. He was hot and heavy… and still inside me. His weight was oppressive and I felt trapped. I pushed against him, making him look at me in question.

"Bella?" For a second the Sam I used to know, Emily's Sam, was there. The concern that filled his face almost broke my heart, because I hadn't seen him look that way since before Emily and their child was taken from him.

"Can't… breathe…" I gasped out and he immediately moved off of me, but stayed close.

"Calm down, Bella! Breathe!" The order did the trick and my breaths went back to a normal rhythm.

"What the fuck was that, Bella?" Sam was back to what he had become. His mouth was set in a hard line and his tone was harsh.

"I don't know. I just panicked. You were heavy and I couldn't breathe. I'm sorry," I apologized hoping that he would let it slide. Of course I should have known better. He never just let anything slide. His dark eyes roamed my face, turning him into the angry man I had come to know.

"Your body is mine to do with as I wish. If I want to lay on you until you can't breathe, then I will. If I want to be inside you, I will, and you will love it." My body tensed with the order but I knew that he was right. My body seemed to react to him in a way that it never had for anyone else. Edward had always been so careful, so chaste. I had all but begged for him to make love to me. And apparently my mind and heart may have been overcome with grief but my body was still that of an eighteen-year-old girl, filled with hormones and desire. The sex with Sam also gave me a small window of time when I didn't feel the gaping hole that Edward's death had left. Of course, afterwards I wanted to die, but it was a moot point, as Sam would never allow that. He wanted me to suffer.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked, his voice sounding curious.

"Nothing," I answered and thankfully he let it go. For once.

"You need food. Come on." He pulled me from the bed, not bothering to take the time for either of us to get dressed. I felt exposed but knew better than to even mention it. When I heard Sam growl I knew that someone had come to try and reason with him. He ordered me to stay put and my body immediately complied.

"Holy shit!" Jake's voice broke through the silence as he walked into the room and took in my naked form.

"Sam, this is too far! I know you're fucking destroyed over this shit, but seriously? Bella, honey, go put on some clothes," Jake tried, but I couldn't move. Sam had ordered me to stay and I was forced to comply.

"For fuck's sake, Sam! Let her put on some damn clothes!" Jake tried to order, but Sam only smirked and made his way to my side. Immediately his hands were on me, palming my chest and pinching my nipples.

"Hmmm, I bet you hate that I've had her, don't you, Jacob?" Sam bent down to kiss my shoulder and Jake's entire body began to shake.

I pushed at whatever it was that held me in place but my body just wouldn't comply. I wanted to be there for Jake the way he always had for me, but my traitorous body forced me to watch as he looked ready to fall apart.

"Get your fucking hands off of her!" Jake demanded causing Sam to chuckle darkly.

"But look at her, Jacob. Her body was meant for this, don't you think?" I could see Jake's eyes darken as Sam's hands moved down my stomach to cup my sex. "I would offer to share, but I wouldn't want you being the one to knock her up. Maybe once I have my child I'll give her to you."

I could see the flash of movement as Jake ripped Sam from my body. Sam had finally pushed him too far and he was ready to strike. No longer was Sam his brother. He was his enemy. My body was still frozen in place from Sam's order, but I cried out, begging them to stop. I'd had enough of violence and bloodshed. Eventually, Jake had Sam pinned against the floor. They were both snarling and growling, and I heard Jake make some sort of yipping noise. Paul entered the small home and immediately rushed to my side. I could see the way his eyes roamed my body before he seemed to snap out of it and pull a shirt over my naked form. He lifted me into his arms like I weighed nothing.

Sam snarled and shook. He yelled that he would kill them all if they took me. I didn't doubt him. He had snapped.

"Paul, please. He'll do it. Just leave me here. I'm dead inside already." Poor Paul. I could see that he was torn between wanting to take me somewhere safe and giving in to Sam. They had been friends… brothers, and I knew it had pained him to hurt Sam in any way.

"You all have to let me go, Paul. He's not hurting me. Not really. I'm here of my own free will. You have to move on and leave us be." Paul's eyes narrowed, then tensed.

"You're too selfless for your own damn good. If we don't get you out now, I'm afraid he'll kill you." I could see the sincerity in Paul's eyes. Jake and Sam were too busy yelling at one another to really pay attention to our conversation and I somehow knew that Paul would do what I asked.

"That's what I'm hoping for. My life is gone anyway. Make Jake leave. Tell him to forget about me. Please," I begged.

"Well, damn, you really make me want to keep your leech-loving ass alive. But I get it." He gently set me down, telling me that he will try to check in on us from time to time, incase I ever changed my mind.

I wasn't sure how, but Paul was able to reason with Jake. To tell him that it was my choice. As soon as Sam had been released he made his way over to me and ripped the shirt from my body, telling me I stunk of Paul. Jake pleaded with me to see reason, to come home. He had healed me before and could do it again, but I knew he was wrong. Nothing could help me anymore.

"No, Jake. Just leave, please?" Sam smirked and began rubbing himself all over me. Jake growled, low and dangerous, but Paul restrained him.

"If you don't want to see me take her then I suggest you leave. But feel free to stay and watch." Sam's lips found my shoulder before his teeth sank into my flesh. I cringed from the pain of his teeth cutting through my skin, but then a euphoric feeling rushed through my body, making me feel like I had been drugged. Jake thrashed against Paul's arms, trying to break free, but Paul held on tight.

"Sam, man, you can't fucking mark her," Paul whispered, and I knew that meant it was serious.

"I just did. Now she's mine and there's nothing any of you can do about it." The wicked grin on Sam's face told me that I was in for a world of shit.

**Ta-da! Yeah, so Sam is going back and forth from the brink of insanity… just a little, huh? For those of you who are still with me… you're all awesome, and wonderful, and amazing, and I love you all! For those who aren't, I completely get it. Although if you're not still here then you're not reading this, so, yeah. Anyway, sorry it took so long, but were looking at daily updates from here on out. With this story at least ;)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Thanks so much for those who are still here! I still don't own any of the recognizable stuff here, and if you're not 18… don't tell me! Lol!**

**Chapter 12**

I was bent over the kitchen table as Sam pounded into me from behind. He hadn't been lying when he told Jake that he would take me while they watched. Fortunately, Jake and Paul left shortly after Sam entered me; or more like Paul dragged an enraged Jake out the front door. My body had begun to respond the way it always seemed to do when he touched me in a sexual manner and I would have been so ashamed for Jake to have seen me that way. My breasts rubbed against the wooden table and I cried out at the pleasure. My body was sore, which only served to excite me further. I had come to crave the feeling of physical pain as it dulled the ache in my heart.

"I hate that you feel so… fucking… good!" Sam let out a long groan as he slammed into me. His large hands gripped my ass before moving down to my hips where he lifted them slightly. The new angle caused him to hit a spot deep inside me making me cry out.

"Ah, that feels good, doesn't it, princess? Your body is so responsive."

"Ahhhhh," I moaned loudly as I felt myself tensing, readying for the orgasm I could feel building.

"Say my name when you come! Tell me you're mine!" For some reason the bite on my shoulder tingled and pulsed at his commanding words making my walls clench him tightly as the euphoria washed over me.

"Shit… Sam! I'm yours!" He let out an inhuman growl before releasing in me in long spurts. I could feel the warmth inside me. It was hotter than his body temperature and that was saying something. He jerked a few times inside of me before pulling my body up against him. When he turned me around and kissed me, it was still rough, but not nearly as bruising.

"You did the right thing, telling Paul what you did."

I gasped. I had no idea that he had been paying attention through his argument with Jake.

"And I'm not going to kill you, so get that shit out of your head right now." He was silent for a few moments before tracing the bite mark he had left on me.

"Do you know what this mark means?" He asked softly. I simply shook my head no. I couldn't think. When he touched that mark it sent jolts of pleasure through my body.

"I never got to do this with Emily. I suppose I didn't need to. She wanted to be mine. This mark? It binds us together permanently. Now you will never want to leave me. You will crave me like an addict craves a fix. You will never want anyone else." He stayed quiet, but seemed to be absently stroking my hair. It was a semi-sweet gesture that I did not associate with this new Sam.

"And I will be bound to you." He whispered. That couldn't possibly be right. He hated me! Why would he bind himself to me?

He must have sensed my panic and confusion.

"Relax," he ordered, and his commanding tone helped me feel more normal. "Me marking you also means that none of the pack have any rights to interfere. It makes you my… my mate." The word mate came through gritted teeth, but I understood why he did it. As long as I was marked as his none of the pack had the right to take me away. I was his to do with as he wished.

**Seven weeks later…**

"Bella!" Sam called as he walked through the door. It had become habit for me to greet him at the door whenever he left and came home. He was right about the marking. I craved him. It was almost like my world revolved around when I could get him to touch me again. To be inside of me. I had turned into a wanton hussy.

My love for Edward had not diminished, but my bond to Sam lessened the grief and guilt I felt for being with another. I was so focused on Sam's wants and needs. The bond demanded that he was my top priority. Paul came by once a week to check on me, as he had promised, but no one tried to interfere or take me away. Sometimes Sam would be out when Paul stopped by and when that happened, Sam was always more demanding in the way we had sex. It was always rougher and he would ask me who I belonged to. Paul never touched me. I think he knew better, but I could still see that look in his eyes. He wanted to get me out of there. He pitied me.

He was late. Paul usually came on Mondays, but that particular Monday passed without his presence. It wasn't until Friday that he showed up. And when he did I could tell that something was different. Jake's sister, Rachel, had come home from college and he had imprinted. I was so happy for him. He told me of his worries. That he wouldn't be good enough. That he would lose her one day and turn into Sam. Fortunately, the man in question wasn't there to hear that. I wanted to hug him. It had felt like ages since I had an actual hug, and he looked so sad and full of worry. Finally I gave in and made my way over to where he was sitting hunched over at the kitchen table. My arms wrapped around him in a comforting gesture and he sank into the embrace. His head rested against my stomach when he stiffened.

"Oh shit! Shit, shit shit!" He looked up at me with wide eyes.

"What?" I asked, panicked.

"You're… you're…. oh shit!" He shook his head back and forth as if he was trying to clear it.

"What, Paul? Just tell me!"

"Isn't it wonderful?" Sam's voice carried through the cottage and he was pissed.

"What? Will someone please tell me what's going on?" I had this feeling, deep in my gut that I knew what the problem was, but I had hoped against hope that it wouldn't happen.

"You're pregnant," Sam smirked and everything went black.

I awoke to shouts and at the sounds of crashing. Paul and Sam were wrestling and throwing punches. Paul had always been Sam's only ally, or at least he tried to be. I couldn't understand why they were fighting. Then I remembered.

Baby.

I was going to have a baby.

I was going to be a mom.

Mommy.

Holy shit!

I must have said that last one out loud because the fighting stopped and they both looked at me. Paul looked like he felt sorry for me, and Sam just had this shit-eating grin plastered on his face. That was when I knew he had really lost his damn mind. I mean, I knew that he wanted another child to make up for the one I cost him, but it was like some improbable thing. Yes, I knew where babies came from and I knew that I wasn't on birth control, but I just didn't think about it. And how did they know anyway? Maybe they were mistaken? And if they weren't what would happen once the baby was born? Would Sam take her from me?

Her?

Was I really thinking of this as a real baby? And her? Why did it have to be a her?

Now I was the crazy one.

"Bella?" Sam asked, the smile still firmly in place.

"I'm… I mean, how do you know?" Sam's smile widened at the question and he pushed Paul out of his way before dropping to his knees at my feet.

"I can hear the heartbeat," He explained as he placed his ear against my flat stomach.

I shot Paul a worried look and he shrugged. Sam was being nice. Too nice. It scared the shit out of me. Far more than anything he could have done to me in anger. Niceness led to a false sense of security. It led to thinking that life could go on and I could possibly live a relatively normal life. I would never be happy. Not really. But I could be normal.

_And a mother._ A little voice whispered in the back of my mind.

"Hello, little one," Sam cooed, "I'm your daddy."

Paul and I stared at one another and I knew that he could see the fear written all over my face. The idea of me being a mommy was terrifying, but the thought of Sam taking my baby from me was even worse. For the first time since Edward's death I felt something. I mean, really felt something. It was pure terror. And I had no idea what I was going to do about it.

**Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favorites! You are all awesome!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Don't own. Wish I did. You know how it goes ;)**

**I tried to get to as many reviews as possible… until FFn decided I wasn't allowed to reply. If I didn't get to yours, know that I read and appreciated every one and I'm hoping I'll be able to reply to this chapter!**

**Chapter 13**

It had been a week since I had the bomb dropped on me that I was pregnant, and Sam never left my side. Yet, it was strange because he never actually acknowledged me. He talked to the baby non-stop, and was no longer mean to me, but he hadn't touched me anywhere other than my stomach either. No sex. No kissing. Nothing. It was as if I wasn't there. It scared the shit out of me. In the week since I had found out about my little girl (yes, I was determined it was a she) I had gotten over the shock and come to be excited at the prospect of being a mother. The child inside of me was part of me. The way Sam was acting it was almost as if he was the only parent. He talked to the baby in relation to himself only.

"Daddy is going to teach you how to fish… Daddy is going to show you how to throw a ball… Daddy is going to love you so much."

I was never included and I just knew he was going to either kill me once the baby was born or run away with my child. Neither option was acceptable to me because either of them meant that I would be away from him. My little girl. And that thought was intolerable. For the first time in a long time I actually thought of a way to live.

Sam had gone to the store for the first time since I found out and I knew that I had to act. My first thought was to call Charlie. His visits had been weekly since I moved, but a case had kept him away for two weeks prior. He was busy, but most importantly I didn't want Sam's wrath directed at him. He still didn't know about the baby, and I would hate for Charlie to find out as he was being beaten or tortured by my baby daddy. So I picked up the house phone and dialed a number that was etched into my brain but had never used. One person who would value the life of my child as much as I did. We had never been close, or even really liked one another, but I knew that I could trust her to be quick and discreet if there was a baby involved and that was all that mattered to me.

"Hello?" Her bored voice came through the speakers and I almost choked on air.

"I said _hello_! If you're just going to sit there and breathe into the phone…"

"Rose," I whispered, interrupting her.

"Bella? What's going on?" Her voice held a little bit of panic. She knew I would only call her under dire circumstances.

"I'm pregnant and I need your help."

She was silent for a few moments before finally speaking.

"Tell me where you are and I'll be on my way." I breathed a sigh of relief and told her where the cabin was. I was actually surprised that none of them had tried to look for me before, but I supposed they hated me by then. I would force myself to deal with that later.

Rose and Emmett burst into the cabin less than ten minutes after I called them and I realized they must have hauled ass. Emmett lifted me into a milder version of one of his bear hugs but it was cut short.

"We need to get moving," Rose said as she looked around. "We can say our hello's later."

I looked around realizing that there was really nothing there for me, but I couldn't help but feel like I was leaving something behind. All my mementos of Edward were safely at my dad's, and there was nothing else that I would miss.

"Be careful with her," Rosalie gently warned as Emmett lifted me into his arms. Then we were off. The trees flew by and I felt my first bout of nausea since getting knocked up. I shut my eyes tightly and concentrated on the feeling of the wind on my face. I wasn't sure how long we had been running because I must have passed out from the sheer panic I felt for leaving my home with Sam. My mark began burning the second Emmett touched me but I pushed it aside until the feelings of terror overcame me.

Instead of seeing the Cullen house when I opened my eyes I saw that we were on the outskirts of Seattle. Emmett slipped me into the backseat of his Hummer and I strapped myself in tightly. Why his car was parked at a house in the suburbs of Seattle, I didn't know, but I figured we could discuss that later. What I did know was that there was a pain in my chest the further I got from Sam. The healed bite mark on my neck tingled. The burning wasn't quite as bad as Emmett was no longer touching me, but paired with the tugging feeling in my gut, it was enough to make me want to vomit.

"I can hear it's tiny heartbeat," Emmett cooed from the driver seat. I couldn't help but smile at that through my mild panic attack.

"Did he… was is consensual?" Rose asked sadly.

"Yes." It shamed me to say it, but I was not unwilling.

"Okay, that's good at least, but why are you leaving?" So I told them everything. I held back the details of sex with Sam, but told them everything else. When I finished Rose looked back at me with wide eyes.

"I'm glad you called me, Bella." I smiled kindly at her. As much as I knew just how much he hated me, I was thankful for her help.

"Where are we going?" I asked after we had been on the road for a while.

"Oh, well, Emmett and I own a house outside of Vancouver. We used to go there to be alone sometimes. I figure we'll call Carlisle once we get settled." I nodded, but said nothing. All I could think about was that I was taking Sam's child from him. I had already been responsible for losing one child, and now I was running away with his second baby inside me. The guilt ate away at me and I almost begged them to turn around and take me back. Then I remembered how Sam had seemed to shut me out completely. The only reason he would do that was if he wanted to pretend that I didn't exist. I knew that I should've talked to him, but I was scared that he would take my baby from me… or take me from my baby.

"What's wrong, Baby Bell?" Emmett asked, glancing at me through the rearview mirror.

I bit my lip nervously and thought about how to answer.

"I feel so guilty," I admitted. Emmett didn't seem to get it but I could see understanding in Rosalie's eyes.

"You know I hate the dog as much as anyone, but he is the baby's father. Do you really think he would harm the mother of his child?" Rosalie's voice was soft and I could see the look Emmett was giving her. He wasn't happy with his wife.

"I don't know. I mean, he was talking to the baby, but acting like I wasn't even there. Like he was detaching himself from me. I just can't risk losing my little girl." I rubbed my flat belly in soothing circles.

"I understand." Rosalie's phone rang shrilly.

"It's Carlisle," she said and answered the phone putting it on speaker.

"_Please tell me that you haven't taken Bella,"_ Carlisle sounded worried.

"She called me Carlisle! What was I supposed to do?" Rose's entire body was tense and you could hear it in her voice.

"_Is she all right? Sam was here… he said… he said she's pregnant with his child."_ Carlisle sounded so sad. Another wave of guilt hit me. I felt like I had betrayed Edward and the defeated tone of Carlisle's voice just made that hit home.

"She thought he was going to kill her and take her child, Carlisle. Would you have left her to that fate if she called you?" Rosalie wasn't at fault. I wanted to stick up for her and Emmett but I was frozen in shame.

"_He said that he won't rest until she is brought back to him._" Carlisle paused for a long moment. "_He took Esme."_

I cried out loud and knew that I would have to go back. He would kill her with absolutely no remorse.

"Carlisle, I'm so sorry!" I cried. Emmett pulled the truck over and immediately got out and pulled me from the backseat into his big arms. He tried to shush me and offer comfort, but I knew it was all my fault. I had to go back, and I told them as much.

"_Bella, it's not your fault, dear. Jasper and Alice have already gone to talk to the pack about getting her back. I am keeping an eye out, at a safe distance of course. My dear wife is being so strong and her only concern is you."_

I knew that he was trying to make me feel better but I only felt worse. I decided I would call him and tell him I was coming back. Make sure he didn't do anything that couldn't be taken back before I could get back to him.

**You are all so amazing! Just thought you should know ;) I am so glad that a lot of you are still with me. I know this is some rough subject matter, and you're all dying to know what's going on with Sam. More answers tomorrow with the next chapter, I promise! It will be Sam POV!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Not living on a compound with big, burly, hot, shirtless male gardeners. Since I'm still living in the desert, it's safe to assume I'm not Stephenie Meyer.**

**Yeah, and I was able to reply to a very few reviews before getting an error message with every other review I tried to reply to. But I kept trying. Is anyone else having this problem? Anywho, I loved every single review. Here is Sam's POV and I hope it clears a few things up ;)**

**Chapter 14**

**Sam**

The conflict that I had battled with had finally gotten too much. After marking her, I had almost felt a certain tenderness for the girl, and the first time I heard my child's heart beating it only solidified that. I could never hurt her again. Even my wolf had become more docile toward her. Hell, I had even become affectionate. The betrayal I felt about caring for the woman who had cost me the love of my life and my unborn child made it almost too much to bear. I regretted marking her, but it was the only way I could think of to keep the pack from interfering. Then I heard my baby's heartbeat for the first time and I could feel all the hate and anger toward her draining from my body.

So I tried to keep my distance. To only talk to my little one safely tucked away in her womb. It was difficult because of the pull the mark caused, but I felt like I was dishonoring Emily's memory by caring for Bella and that couldn't happen. Emily was still everything to me. I had to stay close to her, not only because I felt the need to protect my child, but because the loss of physical intimacy with her made me edgy. Eventually I knew I had to get away. Mainly because I saw her talking to my… our child. She was so loving and I could see her emotions written plainly across her face. She loved him or her. My original plan of getting rid of her once I had my child flew out the window as I heard her singing a lullaby that my own mother sang to me. Her voice was barely more than a whisper, and definitely off-key, but something about it was beautiful. I knew then that I couldn't take our child from her. No one deserved to feel that loss.

Instead I distanced myself from her. The remorse I felt for actually having real feelings for her, other than hate, made me unsure. My body ached to touch her, but I would only allow it when it was in relation to the baby. Finally, when I had been on the verge of carrying her to the bedroom and giving in to my urges, I decided it was time for some space. Grocery shopping was the only excuse I could come up with.

I was only gone for about an hour, but when I returned the absence of her heartbeat and the putrid smell of vampire alerted me that she was gone. My thoughts rotated between fear and anger. Fear of losing another child and anger that my child was taken from me. I refused to admit that there was also a concern for losing Bella, even though in the back of my mind it was there nagging at me. I missed her scent, and the heavy, slow thud of her heart. I recognized the smell and immediately ran to the Cullens' place. The doctor and his mate were the only ones there and I didn't bother with worrying that I was naked from shifting.

"Where is she?" My demand was met with a questioning look.

"Bella? Is something wrong with her?" The caramel-haired leech spoke and I snarled at her.

"Don't play dumb with me! I smelled them at my house. The giant and the blonde! They took Bella and I want to know where she is!"

"Sam, I'm sorry but we have absolutely no idea what you're talking about." I could see the truth in the doctor's eyes as he spoke, but I was not pleased.

"Then I suggest you find out," I snarled.

The female stepped forward, concern evident on her face.

"How is she? Is Bella all right?" She stepped just out of reach of her mate and in a flash I shifted and wrapped my jaws around her throat. The growl the came from my throat alerted the doctor that one step in my direction and his mate would be without a head. I didn't need to speak to convey my wishes. There would be a trade. Bella for the mother leech.

A choked, "I'll call Rosalie, just don't hurt my wife" was all I heard as I ran, dragging the leech with me.

She didn't say a word until we got to the cabin. Even then it was only concern for Bella. She just wanted to know that Bella was unharmed. I didn't know how to answer that. I had been cruel and at times, forceful with Bella. Would she have made it out of that emotionally unscathed? I didn't know. So I told her the only thing I could think of, that Bella was pregnant and I wanted her and my child back. She gasped loudly and her hand flew to her mouth.

"Bella's going to have a baby?" Her eyes filled with tears that would never fall.

"Yes. _My_ baby. And I want them back."

"She must be terrified!" She cried and I cocked my head in question.

"Sam, I don't know what has happened between the two of you since I last saw Bella, but I know what it's like to be pregnant for the first time while living with a cruel man who can't stand you. I remember that much from my human life. There is an ever-present fear of what will happen once the baby is born. Not to mention the usual fears of wondering if you will be a good mother. And she has no one but _you_. How do you think she feels?"

It hit me then. I knew that Bella had to have misinterpreted my avoidance of her. After everything I had done I couldn't blame her. But I wasn't going to admit that it was because I had feelings for her. I could barely admit it to myself. But I did know that I wanted her back. A knock at the door had me growling.

"Sam, it's Jasper! We're not here to fight! We just want Esme!"

"And I want Bella! Give her to me and you'll get your leech back!" I had to give Esme credit. She didn't try to escape, but I suspect that she was hoping to catch a glimpse of Bella somehow.

I could hear Jasper and the pixie whispering to one another, but it was Carlisle's call that made me finally able to breathe again. Bella was coming back. It would take a few hours, but she would be back with me and that was all that mattered.

Time seemed to drag, and no one spoke as we all waited. When I heard the thudding of her heart and the tiny flutter of our child's I felt like I could finally relax. They were safe. They were home.

Bella stepped out of the car looking exhausted and guilty. She wouldn't meet my eyes and I couldn't have that. In two long strides I had her in my arms and her chin in my hand, forcing her to look at me. My first instinct was to threaten her, but I knew that was what had gotten her to leave in the first place. Her fear. Instead I leaned down and kissed her lips ever so gently. She gasped, making her pouty lips fall open. I had never been so gentle with her, but I had to show her that she was safe. That I wouldn't hurt her. I may not have loved her, but I was beginning to realize that Emily's death wasn't really her fault. Bella was still the same sweet, trusting girl she had always been, and she had lost someone too.

I was also beginning to realize that I wanted to make up for past wrongs and take care of her. In order to do that I had to try and let go of the past. We had a child to think about and a good father takes care of the mother of their child.

I could hear the commotion around us, but I didn't care what they were saying. That was until I was forcefully pulled away from Bella and thrown into a tree. The bombshell vampire was standing guard in front of Bella, ready to rip me apart. My body trembled with the desire to phase, but all I could think about was how a fight that close to Bella could be dangerous for her and the baby.

"Babe, I want to kick his ass too, but we need to stay calm for Bells and the baby." She nodded, but didn't move from her place in front of Bella.

The doc showed up and after checking over his mate, who assured him she was unharmed, he made his way over to Bella. He hugged her gently and I forced myself to stay still as he placed his pale hands over her stomach. I could tell that he was checking them both over and other than slightly elevated heart rates they were both fine. Bella answered all his questions but her eyes stayed trained on me. There was a look there of wonder as she brought her hand up to feel her lips. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. That was until I felt something hard and cold slam into my side.

**So, how do you feel about Sam now? Still mad at him? Yep, me too! Still want to kick his ass? Of course! But he's FINALLY turning a corner! 14 chapters in and finally some progress with his crazy ass! LOL! **

**I plan to try and respond to reviews, but if I can't and you have a specific question (that I can answer without giving anything away) I will try to PM you if I can't reply to your review!**


	15. Chapter 15

**I don't own any recognizable characters, unfortunately. If I did, Twilight would have ended up a lot kinkier!**

**Still getting the stupid error message with most of the reviews! But I love and appreciate every single one! Even when you say you hate Sam and hate the story. At least I got you feeling something ;)**

**Chapter 15**

**Bella**

The entire ride back to the cabin I was filled with dread. I was worried for Esme, for me, for my baby. I had no clue how Sam was feeling or how he would react when he saw me. He wasn't known for being very calm where I was concerned, especially not when I pissed him off. Needless to say I was terrified. When we pulled into the driveway I got out of the SUV on shaky legs. I could see everything that was going on around me, but my main focus was on Sam. I didn't recognize the look on his face, but it almost looked like relief.

Watching as he stormed his way over to me I tensed up and waited for the fallout. When his arms wrapped around me I held my breath, waiting for the pain, but it never came. Instead, his hand made it's way to my chin where he ever so gently tilted my head. His lips were on mine, so soft and sweet that I couldn't stop from gasping if I had tried. His tongue traced mine gently and I immediately responded in kind. I had never been kissed that way before. Edward had always been to worried about his teeth and venom for open-mouthed kisses, and my kisses with Sam had always been rough and bruising. It made my entire body tingle.

The kiss was broken by Sam being ripped away from me. Rosalie stood like a beautiful sentry in front of me, shielding my body. I peeked around her to see Sam panting and completely ignoring Rose. His dark eyes were solely focused on me. I barely noticed Carlisle hugging me then checking me over as all I could do was focus on the way my lips felt like they were on fire from Sam's gentle warmth.

I could hear Rose and Em talking and see Sam shaking, but my mind couldn't get past what had just happened. That was until Carlisle slammed into Sam's side. There was a loud snap and I just knew that Sam was hurt.

"I let you get away with taking my daughter and treating her horribly because she asked us all to let it go! But now you impregnate her, terrify her, kidnap my _wife_, then kiss Bella like nothing has happened? I've had enough! Your days of terrorizing the women in my life are over! We all lost someone! Deal with it like a man! You call us monsters but who have we harmed?"

I had never seen Carlisle lose his cool and my heart broke for him. He had always been the kind, caring doctor who only fought when he had to, but seeing him that way reminded me that he was a vampire. It was then that I noticed Sam's arm laying at an odd angle and I fought with myself not to jump in and stop them. Luckily I didn't need to because Carlisle stopped himself. I had no idea why Sam hadn't phased and fought back, but I was glad that he hadn't. I was tired of seeing people hurt.

As soon as Carlisle was off of Sam I was at his side. I could see that his shoulder was dislocated.

"Are you all right?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Yeah," he ground out, "I just need someone to pop it back into place."

I winced as Jasper strode over and quickly set his shoulder. I knew that the wolves healed fast, but I could see he was in pain even if he tried to hide it.

"I deserved that," Sam admitted and I couldn't believe my ears. Who was he and what had he done with Sam?

"Yes you did," Carlisle spat, still seemingly angry. It was like I was in Bizarro World where all the roles had been reversed.

"Am I hallucinating? Did I hit my head?" I asked making everyone burst into uncomfortable laughter.

Sam's good arm slipped around my shoulder as he placed a kiss on my head. I was really beginning to believe I was dreaming.

"You're freaking me out," I told him, making him laugh even louder.

"We'll talk later, Bella. Everything's fine." I had no clue what to think. He was being… nice. Acting like he cared.

_I definitely hit my head. Yep, I was concussed, for sure._

"How are you feeling, Bella?" Esme asked from behind Carlisle.

"Good, I think. I'm a little confused about what's going on right now, but I feel physically fine."

"Can I… I mean, can we hug you?" Esme's eyes darted to Sam who stiffened, but nudged me toward them.

In seconds I was being passed from vampire to vampire. I didn't miss how they all seemed to be listening to m baby's heartbeat and the gentle tummy rubs. Carlisle seemed to be using his senses to check my heart rate and blood pressure as well as that of my child. I couldn't help but glance back to Sam who was looking ready to phase.

"It's okay," I mouthed to him, to which he nodded tightly.

"I would like to be your doctor for this pregnancy." Carlisle glared at Sam as he spoke.

"I guess you're as good as any. This is a supernatural pregnancy and who knows more about it than you?" I could see that while Sam's words were agreeing, the idea of a vampire coming close to his unborn child made him nervous.

"Thank you, Sam," I said, relieved.

"Dude," Emmett interrupted the tense moment, "please tell me you have a flat screen and some video games in there! If I'm going to be spending time with my preggo little sis then I will need something to occupy me."

I waited on the explosion that I just knew would be coming from Sam, but other than a glare he didn't object. I could have hugged him.

"Perhaps you would be interested in moving into the cabin near our home until after the birth, as I have all the equipment we will need to monitor Bella."

I knew that Carlisle meant well with his suggestion, but I just couldn't see Sam going for it. I was right in my assumption.

"With the threat of those royal leeches hanging over your head do you think it wise to keep Bella with you?"

"And you think she's safe here, in the middle of nowhere with only you to protect her?" Jasper raised an eyebrow in challenge.

Sam growled in response and I noticed Jasper tense slightly, readying himself for a fight.

"Maybe we could move back onto the reservation?" I suggested, hoping to calm the storm I could see brewing. Anyone could see that the Cullens were not pleased with Sam at all, and from the looks of things he was barely tolerating their presence.

"I mean, you said that since you marked me they have no say…"

"You did WHAT?" Angry Carlisle was back. Jasper and Esme attempted to hold him back while Alice and Rose grabbed Emmett.

"You _marked_ my DAUGHTER?" Tears filled my eyes at the thought of Carlisle still considering me a member of his family, even without Edward, but I knew I had to diffuse the situation quickly.

"It's all right! Everyone just calm down! Please!" I wasn't above begging.

"Bella, if it's anything like a vampire marking their mate then you will be tied to him forever! How can you be okay with that?" I could hear the worry as well as the pity in Carlisle's voice.

"Carlisle." I took a step forward, my hand outstretched toward him. Sam growled and moved closer to me.

"I'll never love another anyway," I reasoned and Sam growled louder at that. That time he did move forward and grab me. Heavy, possessive arms wrapped around my middle protectively.

"And I'm having a child with him." Sam's hand made small circles on my stomach at the mention of what was growing inside.

"Bella," Carlisle's voice softened, "I just worry about you, dear. We all do. And I know that Edward would want you to move on and be happy. I'm just not sure being tied to such an angry creature is what's best for you… or your little one."

"If you keep it up, you'll never see her again, leech!" Sam roared and moved me behind him.

"Carlisle, please!" I pleaded.

"Fine, but you are always welcome in our home, Bella. Wherever we go, the door will always be open to you. And I would enjoy seeing my grandchild one day." His smile was forced, I could tell, but he was trying.

"Sam, please let me go to him." He glared at me, but allowed it and I ran, flinging myself into Carlisle's arms, where I cried.

**Finally we're getting some semi-normal reactions from Bella! Some are accepting Sam a little more, and others still want to kick his ass and see no way that he and Bella could ever work. I agree, Bella can never forgive him. That's all I'm saying! LOL!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Not mine. I just like to play with the Twilight universe!**

**And let me say that I know that some of you aren't liking where this is going, as is your right. I've always said this story will be dark and unpleasant. If you don't like it, but want to know how it turns out instead of reading, let me know and when the story is complete I'll send you a summary. Just send me a PM. Everyone just remember to keep the reviews constructive. Criticism is awesome, and I love it, as long as it's not meant to be mean and/or hurtful.**

**And speaking of reviews! I was able to get to most of them. If I didn't it's because I am sick with the stupid flu and have barely kept my eyes open all day. So I am going to post this and go to bed **

**Chapter 16**

**Sam**

When the leeches finally left I was beyond relieved. The further they were from Bella and my child the better off we would be. But I knew that I had a lot to atone for with Bella and allowing them to be around her was only the first step. Their scents made my nose burn and my wolf's hackles rise, but if I wanted her to be a proper mother to our child and mate for me, I had to learn to accept the things that she loved.

It made me want to fucking puke.

I could hear Emily's voice in my head, telling me to be kind. To be the man that she knew and loved. To not be afraid of caring for Bella or our child. To love them.

She still sounded as sweet as ever, and I wanted her back, but I knew it would never happen. I forced back the bitter anger that threatened to spill out when I looked at Bella. I had to remind myself that it wasn't her fault. She just fell in love with the wrong being. My Emily's death was a result of a bitter bloodsucking fiend, who wanted revenge for her mate's death. I could understand that since she had taken mine from me.

"Sam?" Bella's voice was cautious and I realized it was because I was shaking with anger and pain. I tried to calm down to no avail.

"Listen, Sam. Listen to the baby's heart. If you phase you could hurt her… or him. And you would hate yourself. Just listen."

She was right. I would kill myself if I caused harm to my own child. I listened to the little heart as it thudded away. I counted the rapid beats. 155 beats per minute. It was quick and I could hear it slowing a little as I calmed. Like they could feel me. Soon I felt calm enough to approach Bella and as I kneeled before her and placed my head against her stomach I relaxed even more. Her hands weaved into my hair, creating a soothing pattern.

"I'm so sorry," I spoke to her belly, but it was meant for Bella.

"I want to be better. I _will_ be better. For both of you." I heard the choked sob that left her mouth as she wrapped her thin arms around me.

"I can't promise to love you, and I'll probably never be a good mate, but I will try. And I'll never physically harm another hair on your head. And I swear, I will be a good father!"

"Shhhh, I know you will, Sam. And I will try to make things easier on us both, but I won't allow you to hurt me anymore. But you have to forgive me for what I brought on us all. You'll hate me forever if you don't." I felt my body tense and wondered if I could truly forgive her even though I knew it wasn't logically her fault. Instead of lying to her or hurting her I said nothing and wrapped my arms around her.

"You smell different," I told her. "Like me. It's my child changing your scent."

I couldn't help the way my body responded to her and I realized that I didn't want to anymore. We both lost our loves and the saying "if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with" played over in my mind. Not saying that I would, or even could, love her, but I could be a good partner. A good mate.

I nuzzled my face against her growing chest and she whimpered. I'd heard their tits got sore and swollen, but damn. I put them in my hands and noticed just how much bigger they had gotten. She moaned and seemed to enjoy the attention that I paid them so I massaged as gently as my calloused hands would allow. We'd had sex, but never been intimate, and I was unsure how it would go, but I was too worried over being careful with the baby that grew inside her to not be in control.

It was more enjoyable than I had thought it would be. Taking my time. Savoring her body. Bella seemed to enjoy it as well because by the time I was inside her she was slick and dripping. I noticed that she didn't look at me. Her eyes were shut tightly and for the first time I actually cared. The bond between us demanded that she be solely focused on me, but I wanted to see her eyes. I wanted for her to see me.

"Open your eyes." I tried to keep it form sounding like a command, but it was difficult and I know that I wasn't wholly successful in my attempt. Either way, her eyes opened and stayed locked on mine while my body moved within hers.

The sounds Bella made were so different from any of the ones before. They were more mewls of pleasure than screams, but something about her soft, breathy moans pleased me and the wolf inside rumbled to life. The anger he could handle, but me being tender during sex with her was the last straw. I felt my body shake as he fought to be free. To rip and tear at her flesh. Bella must have seen something in my eyes because she focused on them when she spoke. I wasn't sure if she was talking to me or my wolf.

"I know that you hate me, but remember I have your baby inside me. If you hurt me, you hurt her."

She smelled of fear, which pleased my wolf greatly, but her voice remained calm.

"Do what you have to, Sam," she whispered as she once again shut her eyes. I knew that the tenderness was gone and she was a shell again. She always gained pleasure from our joining, but after she would retreat into her bubble of self-hatred. I immediately wanted the tenderness back. Even for only a few moments I felt wanted again. Like she cared, despite all the things I had done to her.

"_I know you hate her, but she is mine. Ours. And that is our baby in her womb. You will treat her well. We will protect her and treat her with as much kindness as we can!"_

The wolf growled his disapproval, but I could feel the calm flowing through my body. Ever so gently, I leaned down to press my lips against Bella's. Her eyes popped open and I felt her smile against my lips. For once I caused happiness rather than pain.

The old me… Emily's me was returning. I still missed Emily, and hated that she had been taken from me, but I had begun to believe that she had come to me for this very purpose. She knew that getting past my hate for Bella would bring me back. I would never be truly happy with another woman, but I knew that Bella understood and likely felt the same way. There were no expectations and that I could handle.

Sex after that became more pleasurable in a way that I never would have imagined with anyone outside of Emily. We both began to work past our pain and grief and there were many times where Bella was the one who actually sought me out for intimate time.

Charlie hadn't taken the news of the baby as well as one may have hoped. He swore I was taking advantage of his little girl, but eventually he began to come around. Even though he glared at me any time he was in my presence. The thought of me being the father of his grandchild was the only thing that kept him from putting a bullet in my brain, I suspected. The Cullens remained close to Bella, as much as I hated it, and Emmett and Rosalie were a permanent fixture.

There had been no news on the Volturi, and we tried to believe that no news was good news, but as our baby grew inside Bella, she became more and more worried. We both knew that it was more than likely that things would not end well, but we tried our best to forget about it whenever we could. As the weeks turned into months, Bella's belly grew with my child. I watched her closely for fear of something going wrong. I had even taken to pampering Bella and making sure she always had everything she needed. The hormones made her a little more feisty and there were many times she'd warned me that if I didn't leave her alone she'd put me out on the porch where all bad dogs sleep at night.

One would have thought it would have angered me, but in reality I found it hilarious. Bella had always been so mild-mannered and calm and to see her lashing out… well, it was funny. Her face would get all red and I swore I could see steam coming out of her ears. When she hit 34 weeks and her ankles began to swell she became downright ornery and damn irresistible. If I listened closely I could hear our baby moving around, and seeing those tiny, cute feet poking at the skin on Bella's stomach… well, I was a changed man. Everything was going great… until it wasn't.

"Sam?" Bella called and I could heart the pain in her voice.

"Sam!" She cried again, her voice more urgent.

When I reached her I found her laying in our bed, blood on the sheets. Tears streamed down her face and all I could do was lift her into my arms and run.

"Get Carlisle!" I screamed as soon as I knew I was within earshot of the Cullen house.

"Our baby… Sam, what's wrong with our baby?" Bella's voice sounded so small.

I could hear the rapid beat of our child's heart and did something I hadn't done in years… I prayed.

"_Be calm, Sam. It will be all right._" I heart Emily's sweet voice and could swear I felt her breath on my neck. Her voice was almost as strong as it had been that first time so I knew she wouldn't be there long.

Bella must have heard it too, because she called out Emily's name.

"_We're here, Bella,"_ Emily told her and I knew that she meant Bella's leech.

"_Breathe, love. You'll both be all right. Don't be afraid." _Bella nodded her head and a tear slipped from her eyes. I hated the thought of him talking to her. She was mine. Not his. But I wouldn't begrudge her that.

The emergence of the Cullens broke the spell and as much as I needed Emily right then I needed for Bella and our baby to be safe even more. I told Carlisle what I knew and fought the urge to growl when he took Bella from my arms.

Rosalie and Esme assisted Carlisle. He said that the baby was coming, albeit six weeks early. Bella had what he called placental abruption and he needed to get the baby out to save them both. Emmett, and I paced the floor while Jasper and Alice sat huddled together on the couch. I knew what they were thinking. None of them wanted to lose anyone else. Alice couldn't see any future involving me or my child, so we didn't even have a vision to guide us.

The loud cry of my child broke the silence and I rushed into the room.

I had a daughter. A little girl with a head full of brown curls and russet skin squirmed in Rosalie's arms. She quickly handed her to me and went back to work on Bella. My eyes went from my little girl to her frail-looking mother laid on Carlisle's makeshift operating table. Her eyes were barely open but I knew she wanted to see her… our child.

Bella gave the tiny infant a small smile before her heart began to stutter.

"Carlisle, you have to change her!" Rosalie cried but I shook my head. I couldn't have the mother of my child a vampire even if it meant her survival. She would become my mortal enemy and she would never be able to be around our child. That would hurt her worse than dying, I thought.

"Take the baby," I whispered to Rosalie and made my way to Bella's side.

As disgusting as it was, I used as much of my saliva as I could to try and heal her. Carlisle got to work on giving her blood and Esme gently gave Bella compressions to help her heart to keep beating.

"Bella, you need to live. Our little girl needs you. Could you imagine me raising a girl on my own? Come on, Bella." I whispered words that I hope she heard before finally taking our little angel from Rose and laying her beside a still Bella.

The cries of our baby echoed through the room just as Bella's heart began to pick up a more regular beat.

"That's right. Come on, baby. Listen to our girl. Come back to her."

When Bella's brown eyes met mine I felt relief wash through my entire body. She was alive and so was our child.

**Sooooooooo…. We're getting to where you're going to find out how they could POSSIBLY ever work as a couple. Will Bella forgive him? No. But how, you ask, will they end up together? Guess you'll just have to wait and see!**

**I blame this evilness on the vile flu virus that is controlling my body! Lol! See you all tomorrow!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Still don't own…. Still hopped up on flu medication! LOL! No, seriously I'm sick, and possibly a little loopy. Um, I think I may go back to bed now! **

**Chapter 17**

**BPOV**

My eyes opened to the sounds of a baby's shrill cry. I looked around, taking in my surroundings. I had no idea where I was, or even _who_ I was. I searched my memories only to come up blank.

What I did know was that I was surrounded by inhumanly beautiful people. Each one of them looked at me as if they were expecting something. The baby's cries grew louder and a tall, russet-skinned man picked her up from where it lay beside me while giving me a questioning look.

"Where am I?" A blonde male was immediately at my side, looking me over. His figure blurred with the speed of his movements making me squirm to get out of his reach.

"Bella?" The russet-skinned man spoke bringing my attention to him.

"Is that my name?" I asked, panicked.

"Oh, Bella." Another beautiful being, this one a caramel-haired woman spoke, choking back a sob.

"Yes, baby. Your name is Bella." Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome spoke, a look of happiness spreading across his face. I wasn't sure why, but it looked out of place.

"And this is our daughter, Emily." Something didn't seem to fit. I felt something in my mind bending before it seemed to snap back into place, like a rubber band pulled too tight. I had caught a glimpse of the man in front of me, his face contorted in rage, but I was no closer to gaining any knowledge about my past then I had been when I awoke.

A low set of growls erupted from the room alerting me to the inhuman nature of those in the room. A beautiful blonde woman made her way over to me and snarled at the man who claimed to be the father of my child.

"That's not her name! Bella, that's not your baby's name."

"What? I don't understand any of this? Who are you? All of you?" The panic returned in full force and my body shook in fear.

"Shh, baby, I'm Sam, your husband." Another set of growls came from the pale people in the room.

A spritely woman came in, followed by a scarred male. The girl, or woman, looked to be terrified. Her lips moved too fast and her voice was too low for me to hear what she said, but I did notice the looks on the faces of those around me. The pale people all looked destroyed while _Sam_ looked elated.

The emotions I felt overtook me before everything went black.

**Sam POV**

She didn't remember.

Anything.

It meant we could start over, free of the chains that bound us. I may still belong to Emily, but Bella would only belong to me. Edward wasn't even a memory anymore. And she would never know the horrible things I had done to her. We could start over with our daughter. I knew that deep down she could never really forgive me for the shit I had put her through. She would always be good to me, because it went against her nature to behave otherwise, but she would never really care about me the way I wanted her to.

When the little seer came in and announced that Bella would never regain her memory I couldn't stop the smile that passed over my face. Carlisle was concerned at what had caused Bella to lose her memories, but all I could think of was that I could be good to her and she would love me. No, I could never truly love her. That spot in my heart would always belong to Emily, but Bella would never know the difference. And I would know what it felt like to be adored again. I could dote on her the way I'd wanted to the past few months, but knew that she wouldn't have allowed it. How could she have ever have seen me as anything other than the monster that ruined her. The memory loss was a blessing. For both of us. She would never know the horrors that she had experienced in her short life.

Bella had been moved to a couch that seemed to swallow her as Carlisle worked to figure out a solution to the problem. Or even a reason for it happening.

"Her shield," Jasper spoke amid the chaos. "It bonded with his saliva once. It's why he's able to control her. Maybe it bonded even further only this time it erased her memories. Or it could simply be protecting her from all the shit she's survived."

Either theory made sense, but truly I could have cared less. She didn't even remember her precious leech and would have no clue what a monster I'd been.

"What the hell are you talking about? Shield?" It seemed Jasper's voice hadn't been as low as he'd thought.

"Nothing, baby. Everything's fine."

She flinched away from my touch and glared at me, but I wasn't deterred. I gently touched the mark that I had given her and watched as her body came to life. Small goose bumps erupted across her pale skin and her pupils dilated. I grinned widely. She may not remember anything, but her body remembered me. My mark made sure of that.

I could hear the Cullens whispering to one another, far too low for Bella to hear. They were debating whether or not to take her with them since she would never remember her child. They could keep her safe. The beautiful blonde, Rosalie, hissed at the thought of forcing Bella to leave her child behind.

"Whether she remembers her or not, that is her _child_. I may have never been all that close to Bella, but I won't let you take her from her baby. She deserves more than that from all of us."

Her giant of a mate wrapped a heavy arm around her and nodded in agreement.

"Secrets don't make friends," Bella snarked causing me to chuckle. It seemed as if her verbal filter had disappeared with her memories.

At that moment our little girl gave a shrill cry forcing all the attention in the room on her sweet little face. She had her mother's lips which scrunched up in a pout before the suckling noises began.

"Is she really mine?" Bella asked, and I beat down the urge to correct her that she was _ours_.

"Yes, babe, she's our little girl, and it seems as if she's hungry."

Bella's eyes widened and she gulped loudly before her eyes darted around the room. Thankfully, Rosalie stepped up and offered some assistance. While I didn't like her being that close to my child or Bella, I reminded myself that she was the one who stood up for Bella to her own family.

"I've never had a baby," Rosalie began "but I have been to medical school and know the mechanics of it."

Her sweet smile seemed to pacify Bella, until she realized the room was still full.

"Seriously? Are you guys all just gonna' watch? I mean there's not too much there, but they're still mine and I'd like to keep them hidden."

Emmett's laughter boomed off the walls and he slapped his knee loudly.

"Only you, Bells! Come on, boys, let's give her some privacy." Emmett ushered the rest of them out of the room and the seer and Esme both looked like they would protest, but their mates coaxed them out the door.

"Here you go," I spoke softly as I placed our daughter on Bella's chest.

She looked like she wanted to tell me to leave too, but thought better of it. I snorted at her modesty; as if I hadn't already seen every single inch of her body. I watched in fascination as Rosalie told Bella what to do, but it wasn't needed. As soon as our little girl was in place she had latched on and needed no direction. Bella smiled widely, and only winced on occasion when our little one tugged too hard.

"What's her name? I mean, did we have one picked out before… before I lost my memory?"

Rosalie glared at me, daring me to say Emily's name. As much as I wanted to call her Emily, something inside me recognized just how strange it would be to call my daughter by my dead imprint's name. My little girl would never live in anyone's shadow. Not even Emily's.

"Well, we never actually decided. I know I mentioned a name earlier, but it was on your 'no' list. What do you think?"

Bella looked like she was deep in thought as she watched our daughter feed. She made the softest little grunting sounds as she ate and I couldn't help the smile that crossed my face.

"Something that means joy," Bella suggested out loud.

"Abigail means gives joy," Rosalie murmured with a soft smile.

"Abigail," Bella whispered before looking to me.

I couldn't deny that name was perfect. That tiny little person brought joy to me in my misery. She made me feel human again. Like Emily's version of me. Looking at my little girl, I knew that I could live and maybe even be happy again.

"Abigail it is." Bella grinned widely at me before looking back down at our little Abby.

**So, now you see why Bella will never forgive him! ;)**

**Thank you so much for every bit of love that you have shown me! I would love to have replied, but the flu has made it barely possible to get this out. But I love every review and I love all my readers, and… I'm going to shut up now. *****Grumbles***** Stupid flu….**


	18. Chapter 18

**SM owns it! Us FFn authors just like to take her beloved characters and make them do all the naughty things she didn't ;)**

**Huge shout out to Hevv99 who has been a huge cheerleader for this story! Her words kept me going when I wanted to quit! Love you, Bobble! And Nostalgicmiss… I would not be writing at all if she didn't keep me going. My bestie is amazing! **

**Chapter 18**

**Sam POV**

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" Emmett yelled as my body crashed into the tree he'd thrown me at.

"You tried to name that precious baby, _Bella's baby_, after your dead lover? The lover that you tortured my little sister over? I'll kill you!"

I allowed every blow he gave me, knowing that I deserved it. I hadn't been really thinking when I said the name Emily. Emmett's anger was justified, but I had the feeling that the beating I received from him was more than just that.

"Then you tell her that you're her _husband_? Are you fucking high?"

I felt my ribs crack from the force of his fist and held in the cry of pain.

"My brother died! The man she should've married died and you have no right to put yourself in his place! I've put up with this shit long enough! That girl in there took all of your shit because she felt guilty. Because she's a good fucking person! But you've done enough!" His mate pulled him away before he could kill me. I had no doubt that he would have.

It seemed the birth of my child left me looking at myself and all the wrong I'd done. I hadn't been a man that Emily would have been proud of. And I damn sure didn't deserve Bella after all the shit I'd put her through. I had spoken so quickly when Bella awoke that it didn't register with me just how fucked up I was being. I tried to think of how I would feel if I no longer remembered Emily. While the pain of her loss would be gone, so would all the wonderful memories I had of her.

"You will go in that fucking house and tell her everything! Then you will give her a choice. If she leaves your ass I will protect her and that child for the rest of their lives… even from you!" His chest heaved with unneeded breaths as his mate tried to soothe him.

"Not everything," Alice murmured, looking utterly miserable.

"What?" Everyone seemed to ask in unison.

"He can't tell her what we are. As of now she has no clue that vampires exist. The Volturi will have no rights to bother with her. Aro will want her, to be sure, but he will have no grounds. We, however, will face punishment." Her eyes turned to Jasper who nodded solemnly.

"Jasper and I will serve as part of their guard for fifty years as payment for her ever knowing in the first place. But we will have to leave her life forever, or Aro will find some way to get his claws into her."

I growled at the thought of that leech getting anywhere near Bella. It made my stomach turn. The Cullens all murmured amongst one another, but Emmett was the first to speak out loud.

"I can't leave her again! Who's going to protect her from this asshole?" He pointed in my direction and I had a feeling the big lug would be crying if he could. He loved Bella, that was evident in the way he spoke about her.

"I will." Jacob's voice caused us all to turn in his direction.

We had all been so lost in our own thoughts that we hadn't heard him approach.

"How did you know where we were?" I asked.

"Did you really think I wasn't having you watched? That I would just leave Bella with you after everything you put her through? Seth told me what was going on as soon as I woke up. Little shit thought I needed sleep. Whatever, the point is, Bella doesn't remember anything and there's a baby to think of."

The Cullens all nodded, like I wasn't even a factor in the discussion.

"Bella will live with me in the house the council provided for me as Alpha. Sam, I hate to do it, but you've proven just how unpredictable and violent you are. Until you can prove that you are worthy, then you will be banned from the Reservation, and from seeing Bella. You will have supervised visitation with your child. I'm not so cruel to keep her from you, but I will be keeping a close eye on you at all times."

My blood boiled at Jake's words. Who was he to keep me from My child and Bella? He was no longer my Alpha! I didn't answer to him! My body trembled with the force of my anger. My wolf wanted to rip him apart, but I forced myself to remember that was exactly why I was in the mess I was in. I let my anger take control. I had to be better than that.

"It's good to see you getting your anger in check, Sam," Jake stated, but I could tell that he was still leery of me. He had every right to be.

"And you will tell her the truth… leaving out the supernatural aspect of things." Jacob spun the tale of what would be told to her and I couldn't believe my ears.

He had grown so wise amidst all the turmoil and in that moment I hated that I'd marked Bella. Jake would have loved her. He probably still would have, but her body would never respond properly. I was a sorry sack of shit.

"What's going on?" Bella's head tilted to the side as we all shuffled into the room where she and Abby were sleeping. Her eyes landed on Jake and a flash of recognition sparked in her eyes.

"I know you, right?" She asked and Jake visibly brightened.

"Yeah, Bells, you do." She smiled that she had been right about something.

"I don't know why, but I remember your face… and a man with red hair?" The Cullens gasped at her admission.

She remembered Edward. Well, sort of.

"His name was Edward. You were engaged," he explained and Bella cried out before glaring at me.

"You said… whatever, I'll deal with that later. Go on," she told Jake.

"He, uh… you and him were involved in an accident a while back. The people in the other vehicle were irresponsible and hit your car head on. The man, the driver, he died. His girlfriend blamed you and Edward and about a year ago she killed Edward, but by accident she killed Sam's fiancé, Emily and their unborn child." Bella gasped loudly and covered her mouth.

"Sam," Jake urged, his eyes warning me to stick to the story.

"I blamed you. I took you from your Dad and from Edward's family… I was cruel to you. So cruel. And abusive. You were so distraught that you let it happen. You thought you deserved it and I took advantage of that."

"Did you…. Did you rape me?" She whispered.

"No, you consented, but I took advantage of you just the same." Her arms tightened around Abigail and I could practically see her brain running with what she should say or do.

"I got better. Started treating you better when you got pregnant, but I was so wrong. Then I lied to you when you lost your memory. Hoping it would make you stay with me."

"I can't… I don't understand any of this." She shook her head as if that would give her the answers she needed.

"Charlie… who's Charlie? I know that name."

"He's your dad, Bells," Jake answered softly.

"And you are all Edward's family?" She asked, looking to the Cullens.

"Yes," Carlisle answered. I could see that he was restraining himself from wrapping his arms around her.

"Do you hate me? For being with someone else after losing Edward?"

"NO!" They all chorused.

"You were a victim in all of this, Bella. You may have made some wrong decisions in your grief, but we don't blame you." Her straight forward nature was what made Rosalie my favorite leech.

"Unfortunately, we have to leave. I wish we had more time to spend with you, but some things have happened and we won't be returning." Carlisle tried to sound neutral, but his voice cracked a little and I knew that leaving her was breaking his heart.

"I'll never see you again?" Bella asked softly.

"I'm afraid not, but we'll keep in touch with emails as much as we can." Alice had said they could do that without any interference from Aro. As long as when the appropriate amount of time had passed they faked their deaths and left her life for good.

Emmett kicked up a fuss, swearing that he and Rosalie would watch her from a distance for the rest of her life, but Alice said that even that would be too much for Aro. Too close of a call.

"Did he love me? Edward, I mean?" Tears streamed down Bella's face at the los of a love she couldn't remember.

"More than anything," Esme answered.

It was discussed that Bella would be going to live with Jake unless she chose to live with me. After what she had been told, she wanted nothing to do with me. That day, she was moved to Jake's where Charlie was waiting to see his baby and Abigail.

I was left watching from a distance, wondering if my mistakes would haunt me forever.

**It's not quite the end yet! Just hang in there, guys and gals!**

**Still sick, but not quite as bad. Doing lots of resting at the moment, so I didn't get to the reviews. But keeping up with my kiddo is about as much as I can handle right now. I'm hoping tomorrow will be even better and I'll be back on track!**


	19. Chapter 19

**I don't own it. Probably a good thing I don't or the movies would have been… well, you've read my stuff! LOL!**

**Many of you seem confused by why Bella lost her memory. Since the Cullens are gone, no one will be looking into it so I'll explain it now. Bella's shield had bonded with Sam's saliva. The Cullens were unsure if it was the saliva, or simply Bella's shield protecting her mind. Simply put, Bella had just been too traumatized and her shield wiped her memories clean to protect her fragile mind.**

**Will she ever remember? No. The vision Alice saw was of Bella old and dying. The Cullens come to be with her as she leaves the world and she still has no memory of them. Since we won't be hearing from them again I figured I'd go ahead and tell you all what she saw.**

**I hope that answers all your questions! Let me know if you have more!**

**Chapter 19**

**BPOV**

Confusion.

That would sum up what I felt, in a word. Thankfully, I was maternal by nature because otherwise I would have had no clue what to do with my little Abby. I still had no clue who anyone was, and the flash of Jake and _Edward_ were the only things close to memories I'd had.

When Sam told me about my life and the things that had happened to me I almost couldn't believe it. Something told me there was much more to the story but I had my hands full just trying to remember who I was. I didn't have time to go all Nancy Drew and solve the mysteries of life.

Jake had been extremely kind and helpful. He looked at me a lot. And he was really touchy feely. I wouldn't have minded, but every time he touched me the scar on my neck burned and tingled and an ache grew deep in my gut. It sucked.

Twice a week we would take Abby to a cabin off the reservation and meet with Sam. He always looked so sad and seemed to lose more weight every time I saw him. I was torn between feeling bad for him and thinking he deserved it. From what I'd been told he treated me like shit and took every bit of his anger at life out on my body. But the man I saw didn't seem capable of doing such things. He was broken. His eyes always sought mine and I could see him looking at me with longing in his eyes.

But why, if he hated me would he look at me that way?

See! Confusing as hell, right?

Jake told me that Sam just missed having someone to blame, but it was more than that. I may not have remembered shit, but I wasn't stupid. That man missed me. Wanted me, even. And my body seemed to want him too. It hummed every time I was in the same room as him.

"Hello, Bella," Sam said softly and Jake and I walked into his small cabin with Abby.

"Sam," I returned.

I handed him Abby and watched as he snuggled her and whispered his love for her. My heart broke for him. He may have hurt me but he hadn't done anything to our daughter. Still if he was that unstable he couldn't be left alone with her.

He looked even thinner and almost pale against our little girl's russet skin. I walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge to find not a lick of food. Was he even eating?

"Sam! When is the last time you ate anything?" I scolded and he just shrugged.

"Jake, can you go and get him some groceries, please?" I asked and he immediately began shaking his head no.

"I'm not leaving you and Abby alone with him! No way!"

"Jacob Black! I am not letting the father of my child starve himself. No matter what he's done, he's Abby's father! Now please go and get him some food."

"That's not necessary," Sam interjected.

"You hush! You don't get a say." Sam smirked a little but said nothing else.

Jake finally agreed, leaving me alone with Sam. After everything I'd been told I should have been afraid. But for two months I'd been in his presence twice a week and not once did he even act inappropriate towards me. I just knew he wouldn't hurt me. It was like all the fight had been taken out of him.

"I… I miss you, Bella." Sam whispered as I went to work cleaning his kitchen.

"I find that hard to believe after what I've been told."

"Yes, well, you haven't been told everything. Ever wonder why that scar of yours burns when another man touches you?" I kept my mouth firmly closed, but listened anyway.

"It's because you're mine, Bella. I don't deserve you, but you are."

I kept my eyes away from him but heard the floor creaking as he made his way over to me. My back was to him as I scrubbed the counter tops but when his lips touched the scar on my neck my knees almost buckled. His hands never touched me as he still held Abby, but his lips moved ever so gently over my skin. My stomach fluttered with butterflies and I forced myself to stay perfectly still. Worried about what would happen if I moved at all.

"Come home to me," he pleaded. His hot breath caused my skin to feel like it was on fire and I shut my eyes tightly together, trying to remember what it was like to be with him.

"Sam! What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Jake's voice broke the spell I was under and I rushed to his side.

I felt terrified that I'd had no control over my own body. Had Jake not shown up I would have given in. Sam's dark eyes appraised me sadly. I could tell that he hadn't been trying to manipulate me. He was only seeking human contact. His eyes seemed more sunken, if that was even possible.

"It's okay, Jake. I'm fine. Let's just put the food away and I'm going to make something to eat."

I ignored the way my hands shook as I began to make sandwiches. One thing I'd learned living with Jake was that the Quileute boys could eat. I watched in fascination as they both scarfed down the food I'd made. I handed Sam a protein drink and watched as he drank it, Abby still in his free arm.

"I think it's time to go, Bells," Jake spoke softly, his heavy hands rubbing my shoulders gently.

I hated that his touch didn't effect me the way Sam's did. Jake was good looking and so unbelievably perfect for me. I didn't remember anything but I had the feeling that we'd meant something to one another at some point. Jake made no secret of the fact that he cared about me.

"Please," Sam pleaded and I wanted to hold him. I'd never seen anyone look so sad… not that I could remember anyway.

"We'll see you in a few days, Sam. Let's go home, Bells."

I reached for Abby and Sam took the chance to touch my arms softly. He didn't say anything, but the look in his eyes left me burning from the inside out. I couldn't remember what it felt like to be horny, but I was pretty sure that was it. He kissed Abby sweetly before surprising me and gently touching my lips with his.

"Touch her again and I'll kill you," Jake warned as he led me to the car.

All the way to Jake's the feeling in my stomach wouldn't go away. Jake seemed to know what I was feeling as his hands tightened on the steering wheel. We got home and put Abby down for her nap. The feeling of wanting still rolled around in me, heating me to the core.

Jake watched me hungrily as I walked past where he sat on the couch. The look in his eyes was enough to make me combust. I felt wanted… needed.

"Jake?" I questioned and at an inhuman speed he was before me.

"Please, Bella? Just try with me. Just once." All I could do was nod and his hot lips were on mine.

My scar flared to life and my body revolted. I fought back the urge to pull away because while my body may not have liked his touch I wanted him. His tongue traced my lips and I readily granted him entrance. His kisses were passionate and soon he had me pinned beneath him on the couch.

His body was too hot… or something. I shook and cried out from the pain him touching me caused.

"Fuck!" Jake jumped back from me and paced the floor. "I'll kill him. I swear I will! We could have been so good. I mean, I've loved you most of my life! And he had to… he had to _mark_ you."

Instinctively my hand went to my scar. And what did he mean by marking.

"I'm so sorry, Jake. I don't understand. I want you! I do! Why can't I…" I broke down into a fit of sobs and Jake cried with me. We were releasing the emotions of what could have been.

I realized in that moment that in those two months I'd lived with him, I'd begun to truly care for Jake. He was so kind and patient with me. Always. He never pushed me for anything and the way he looked at me with such reverence… it was hard to resist. But because of whatever was wrong with my body I could never have him. Was I doomed to be alone forever?

"Maybe I could mark you too? Would it work?" Jake was mumbling to himself as he paced and it made me a nervous wreck.

"I'm Alpha, so mine would be stronger, wouldn't it?"

"Jake, what are you talking about? You know I don't understand any of this."

"I know, and I'm sorry. I think… I think I need to go for a walk."

"Okay, Jake."

I watched with tears in my eyes as he kicked at the dirt and stormed away.

When he returned he was covered in bruises. I immediately laid Abby in her swing and ran to his side.

"Oh no! Jake, what happened?" My hands fluttered over his bruised skin and tears streaked down his face.

"I… I almost killed him! Oh God!" Jake fell to his knees and sobbed. I immediately knew he meant Sam and I had to get to him.

Jake was fine other than some bruises, but Sam was all alone and he had already looked so weak.

I called Charlie and asked him to come take care of Jake and Abby and he readily agreed. Jake tried to stop me. Said it wasn't safe, but I told him I couldn't let the father of my child die. Jake called Paul to go with me since he knew he couldn't.

"I'd kill him for sure if I had to see him look at you," he told me.

Ignoring the burning of my skin when I touched him I placed a gentle kiss on Jake's lips.

As soon as Charlie and Paul arrived I was out the door, dragging a worried-looking Paul behind me.

When we reached Sam's cabin I almost pissed myself. A giant black wolf laid on the ground in a pool of blood. A high-pitched whine came from the giant beast as it lifted it's head.

"Sam!" I called, hoping the thing hadn't finished him off. But before my eyes the wolf shifted and it was Sam lying on the ground.

"Oh shit! What the fu…." Then I very appropriately passed out.

**Sooooo….. I know some of you want to slap me right now. For several things! LOL! I am feeling much better today, but now I have to catch up on cleaning my messy house. I swear, men are helpless. So I wanted to get this out before I have to get to work on my house!**

**Thanks for all of your reviews! I love every one! And also, thank you for all the alerts and favorites! You guys rock!**


	20. Chapter 20

**SM owns it. I just play with her characters. Wow, that sounded really dirty!**

**I hope my AN in the last chapter cleared up some confusion about Bella's memory loss. Some of you will like this chapter. Some won't. I have decided that I can't please everyone. So here it is…**

**Chapter 20**

**Sam POV**

The first week she was gone I pretended it was a good thing. I pretended I could let her go and live her life with Jake… and my Abby. I didn't deserve either of them. But Bella surprised me by insisting I get visitation. I knew that Jake suggested it, but he wouldn't have cared whether I saw Abby or not. And he damn sure didn't want Bella anywhere near me.

I tried to tell myself that we were all better off apart.

They may have been better of without me but I was a wreck without them.

I had done the impossible and begun to actually care for Bella. I had watched her while she was pregnant with little Abby and my heart began to open itself to her little by little. She loved our child regardless of how she was conceived or who her father was and it was the first crack in my carefully constructed mask of hatred and anger. Bella was capable of so much love and when she was going through a horrible amount of grief I took advantage of that.

Not even all the hell I'd put her through broke her ability to love. Not even my evil actions could kill her compassion. At first I hated her for it.

When she was gone… I missed it. I missed her.

Then I tried to pretend the ache in my chest was just from missing my daughter. The best piece of me.

I couldn't lie to myself anymore.

Bella had gotten under my skin. Even my wolf missed her. The mark called to us both. The wolf didn't like her by any means, but she was even kind to him and he missed her kindness. Her understanding.

I thought for sure her loss of memory would be a blessing. We could start over. Then I realized I was just being selfish again. Bella deserved a life away from me. A fresh start.

I didn't mean to stop eating and sleeping. I was just never hungry or tired and forgot most of the time to do either. I never looked in the mirror anymore, not that I cared what I looked like. No one wanted to look at me. I wanted to die, but I knew that I couldn't leave my daughter. Even if she would have been better off with Jake raising her, I couldn't do it.

Then the thought of Bella living her life with someone else… it made my blood run cold. That realization made me want to simultaneously find her and tell her, and want to run. But I was too weak to even phase. I couldn't have run if I tried. Bella was mine. It was evident in the way my body flared to life every time she brought Abby to me.

The day she fed me… it almost did me in. I wanted her so much then. Jake was gone and I caught a glimpse of what out life could be together. Bella, me, and Abby. Sure, I may never have loved her as much as Emily, but in that moment I realized that I _could_ love her. I could be good for her.

I vowed right then that I would deserve her. I would work hard to be the Sam that Emily loved. And I would have to let Emily go.

When they left the cabin I spoke to Emily. She never spoke back that time, but I just knew that she heard me.

I told her that I would always love her. I thanked her for ever loving me. Then I told her that I had to say goodbye. I cried when I told her about my budding feelings for Bella, and the guilt I felt about it. I told her about Abigail and how much I loved her and cherished seeing her. I poured my heart out, confessing all the horrible things I'd done in her name, even though I knew she would have hated them. By the end I was emotionally spent but felt like I was ready to begin again.

I knew the first step was to stop phasing all together. Without the wolf the imprint bond wouldn't be nearly as strong. Neither would the marking bond, but it would be worth it if I could be happy and good for my new family. The banging sound of the front door flying off its hinges broke me from my thoughts.

Jake stood in wolf form, foam coming from his mouth. He was livid and I had no idea what caused it so I ran out the back door quickly phasing to see what the trouble was.

The vision that assaulted me was his hands and mouth on Bella. My Bella. I wanted to kill him, but fought back the urge. Emily's Sam wouldn't do that. If Bella wanted him I would let him have her.

"_Not like she has a choice! You took it from her!"_

So he was pissed because she didn't respond to him. I felt bad and elated at the same time. She was still mine, yet it was only because I forced her.

Jake lunged and his teeth were clamped tightly onto my throat. I slung him off of me and hid body hit a tree, breaking it in half. We circled one another carefully, waiting to see who would make the first move. I vowed to defend myself, but I wouldn't initiate. I understood why Jake wanted to kill me. I'd taken the girl he loved and defiled her, abused her, then marked her so that he could never be with her. If I were in his shoes I would have wanted revenge.

He snarled before lunging again. I dodged him only to have him leap on my back, taking me down. He got in several bites before I could turn over and kick him off of me. The smell of my blood assaulted my senses and for a moment I hoped for death. But then I knew Bella would be alone. My death would not break the bond. She would be alone for the rest of her life.

It then turned into a fight for my life. I may have fucked up irrevocably, but I was fixable. And Bella didn't deserve to be alone forever. Jake would eventually imprint and then what? His new woman wouldn't want Bella and our child hanging around!

"_Bella's it for me! I'll never love anyone else!"_

"_Don't fool yourself, Baby Alpha!" _I growled in my head. He was a jackass if he thought it wouldn't happen. Sure, they'd said it was rare, but really, look how many of the pack had imprinted!

Jake and I tousled around, giving as good as we got. I tried not to do anything too damaging to him, but apparently Jake had no such qualms. His teeth once again latched onto my throat and I felt my neck crack. My body hit the ground with a thud. She smell of my blood was stronger and Jake seemed to realize what he'd done and snapped out of it. I could feel his shame through his thoughts as he ran away, back to Bella.

I felt my body beginning to fuse itself back together. The process was slow from my already weakened state and I found myself unable to move as the bones in my neck attempted to right themselves. I wasn't sure how much time had passed when I heard Bella and Paul. The sight of her made me smile internally until I remembered I was still in wolf form. My body shifted then I watched as her eyes rolled in the back of her head.

I was still paralyzed and unable to help her, but fortunately Paul caught her in his arms before she could hit the ground.

"This will be fun to explain. You all right, man?" He asked as he looked me over.

"I will be. I just can't move right now. I think he fractured my neck." I ground out through clenched teeth.

"Shit," Paul said before carrying Bella into the cabin. Once she was settled he came back out and got me .

Paul carried me to the bathroom to clean me up so that my bloody body wouldn't be the first thing Bella saw when she woke up. Thankfully my wounds had already healed, and it was only the broken bones and fractured neck that still remained. That also meant that I was still unable to move, and that worried me a bit, but I'd cross that bridge when I came to it. Paul helped me clean up and dress before depositing me in the old recliner in the living room.

Eventually Bella's eyes opened and she took me in slowly.

"What are you?" She asked softly.

"A shape shifter. As are Jacob, Paul, Embry, Quil, Seth, and Leah. We're protectors of our tribe."

She nodded and looked at me thoughtfully.

"I should probably be asking more questions, but really I think I have enough on my plate right now. How are you, Sam?"

Her concern humbled me and it killed me that I couldn't move to go to her.

"Bella, I know it doesn't mean much right now but I am so fucking sorry for everything I did to you. And I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I'm begging for it anyway. I've missed you. So much."

Paul walked out of the cabin as quietly as possible, but I could tell that he stayed close by.

"I don't know what to say to that, Sam. I mean, I don't remember what you did, but I get the feeling it was much worse than what I was told. Even though I find that hard to imagine. How can you care about me at all if you treated me that way. I don't understand any of this."

"I understand that, Bella. And it's really hard to explain." I sighed and she glared at me telling me that I better try. "You're right, it was much worse. I was insane with grief and blamed you. It was wrong, but I grew to care about you, as much as I didn't want to. Then… uh, well, I marked you."

"Wait, what? What the hell does that mean?" She asked, fingering the scar on her neck.

"It means just that. I marked you so they couldn't take you from me. And so that you would never want anyone else." I hung my head in shame.

"That's why I can't be with Jake?" She asked but I could tell that she already knew.

"Yes, and I wish I could say that I regret it but I don't. I'm glad that you're mine because I'm a selfish bastard. Even though you deserve better I want you to want me. I want us to be a family. You, me, and Abby."

"I can't… I can't even process this right now, Sam. This is all a lot to take in. And you are a selfish bastard, just so you know. But you are also the father of my child, and I think you deserve more time with her."

I brightened at the thought.

"I'll talk to Jake and get you back on the reservation. I want you to be able to see her every day. And maybe we could be roommates for a while. _Just roommates_," She insisted.

"I think Jake and I need some time apart anyway since it will only hurt him worse me living with him. But we'll have separate bedrooms and you will keep your hands to yourself." I agreed, thinking that it was better than nothing.

"Now what's wrong and how can I fix it?" She asked and I bit back the retort I wanted to give her. But I couldn't hold it back all together.

"Hmm, you could kiss it and make it better?" I asked, making her roll her eyes.

I still had a lot of work to do, but in that moment I knew that it would work out. For all of us.

"Sam, why aren't you moving?" She asked after a moment.

"Oh, uh…"

"Can you feel this?" She asked as she poked my leg.

It was then that I realized I couldn't. I couldn't feel her touch.

**Yep, sort of a cliffie! But at least you only have to wait until tomorrow, right? LOL! Don't kill me!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Don't own it. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Sorry this is later than usual, but I was doing some Christmas shopping and SEEING BREAKING DAWN! FINALLY! I loved it! Although it made my Paul look like a big jerk! LOL! And there weren't nearly enough shirtless men, but I still loved it!**

**Chapter 21**

**Sam POV**

"I need you to set my neck before it heals like this and I stay paralyzed," I ground out through my teeth. I could feel the bones in my neck sealing back into place, slowly but surely.

"WHAT? Are you insane? I can't do that! Paul!" She cried and I could see the panic in her eyes.

"There's not enough time, and I think he left to give us some privacy. Do it quick or I'll be stuck this way forever. Please, Bella."

She looked thoughtful for a moment before nodding and stepping in my direction. Her hands shook as she placed them on either side of my head. 

"Tell me what to do."

I explained to her the best way I could to set my neck back properly. My bones were strong and the healing had already begun so it took her a few tries and a lot of pain for me. Tears streamed down her face when we both heard the crack and I felt the bones slide into place. It hurt like a son-of-a-bitch, but once it was in the right place I could feel the bones fusing themselves back together.

"Thank you, Bella," I told her sincerely.

"Sam, I… what in the hell is going on? I mean, you were a wolf! I giant, hairy wolf! And your neck was broken! And… what the hell is going on?"

"Shh, calm down, baby. Our ancestors were thought to be wolves…" I explained about us turning into giant wolves to protect our tribe, leaving out the part about vampires. I told her that we were just protectors from evil, even though I knew she'd find out about vampires sooner or later, I was opting for later.

"So you turn into giant wolves to protect the tribe? Okay. I really don't know what to say to that. Um, will Abby turn into one too?"

"I hope not. There's only ever been one female shifter and that's Leah. I don't want this for Abby," I said sadly.

"Well, are you going to be all right now? Cause that was some scary shit, I gotta tell ya." She let out a nervous giggle and I snorted.

"Yeah, I'll be all right. I'm already starting to regain some feeling now that I'm healing properly."

"And Jake did that to you?" She asked sadly.

"I deserved it, Bella. What I told you about how I treated you before… that wasn't the half of it. I manipulated you and, well, that scar on your neck is from me. I marked you, making you mine. It's why you couldn't be with Jake. Why you can't be with anyone else."

"And why my body responds to you the way it does?" I nodded at her question, feeling ashamed.

"So I can never be with anyone else, and that's why Jake attacked you?"

"First off, Bella," I began, "Jake has loved you for most of his life. He had to watch you choose Edward and then was there for you anyway. Then Edward died and I went crazy, blaming you for Emily's death. I did horrible things, but you begged him to leave it alone. You felt you deserved it and I preyed on that. I think today was just the last straw for him."

Bella looked sad and I hated that I was hurting her again, but I couldn't lie to her. I was done being bad and going about things the wrong way. She deserved better and Abby deserved better than a monster for a daddy.

"And now? Do you hate me now, Sam?" Her tone was defeated, like she thought there would never be happiness for her ever again and I was the cause of that.

"No, I don't hate you, Bella. Along the way I began to care very deeply for you. I just willing to admit it. See, as wolves, we have this thing called imprinting. Where our soul recognizes its other half. Emily was my imprint and when she died, the wolf in me wanted revenge. I blamed you because it was easy to do so, but I was wrong. Yet through all the abuse you suffered at my hands you defended me. Then you gave your body to me and carried my child. I'm not sure exactly when it happened, but it became real to me. We became real."

"I don't know what to say to that, Sam. I feel something for you, but now I know it's just a product of this _marking_. I still say that we live together as roommates, but I can't say about anything else right now, Sam. I hope you can understand that."

I did understand. I mean, why would she want anything to do with me other than co-parenting our daughter. I had treated her abominably and I hated myself for it. One good thing about this new Bella was that she didn't let anyone treat her poorly anymore. She would be a good role model for our little girl. And I was so glad about that. Abby needed someone strong to teach her that she deserved the best, and this new Bella seemed perfect for that. Now if only I could make myself deserving of Bella.

"So, about this imprinting thing... Jake will imprint on someone? Why would he want to start anything with me when that's a possibility?" She looked a little pissed at that and I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Well, it's not guaranteed, but it's not as rare as it was originally believed either. But it is a possibility."

"And what would have happened to me if I had been with him and he imprinted?"

"He would have left you. He wouldn't have had a choice. Our imprints are everything to us. Our world revolves around them. But in his defense he truly believes that there is no one else for him but you. He's just a naïve kid who's in love with a beautiful woman."

The blush covered her cheeks before she gave me a glare for flattering her.

"I'm still mad at you," she said.

"I know."

"I still don't know that we could ever be more than friends and after what you've told me, that's pushing it."

I cracked a smile at her no-nonsense tone. "I know."

"All right, well, as soon as you're all right I'm going to have a talk with Jacob Black, then we're going to get moved on the res somewhere."

Once again I snorted, so unused to seeing this bossy Bella. I sort of liked her and hoped she stuck around.

**Sorry it's not very long, but there hasn't been much time for writing today. But here it is. What's everyone thinking of the new bossy Bella? I don't think she's going to let anyone tell her what to do anymore! LOL!**


	22. Chapter 22

**SM still owns all the recognizable stuff.**

**Thanks so much for all the love! You guys seem to be warming up to Sam a little, huh? LOL!**

**Chapter 22**

**Bella POV**

"You can't be serious, Bella," Jake snorted and rolled his eyes.

"I am very serious! And you! You broke his neck! I had to reset the damn thing so that he wouldn't be paralyzed for life, jackass! I know he's an asshole, but he's also the father of my child! I want Abby to have BOTH parents even if he was a douchebag to me, he's never done anything to her!"

I had come to Jake's, hoping to have a conversation like a couple of adults, but it seemed that wasn't possible at all. I mean, yeah, from what I'd been told Sam had treated me like dog shit and I didn't forgive him, but the marking made it hard to hate him. At least he'd been honest with me. And I knew that I couldn't live with Jake anymore. Not after what had happened between us.

Then seeing Sam so broken. So weak. Even as the wolf he was so frail-looking. I was surprised that Jake hadn't killed him with how fragile he looked. I don't remember much, but I do remember the way Sam looked when I woke up from having Abby. He was this wall of a man who seemed to take up the space of an entire room. But in the time I'd been living with Jake he seemed to shrink right before my eyes. I assumed it was missing Abby, but with what I learned about the marking I had to wonder if he wasn't pining a bit for me as well.

Either way, he needed some help, and while he wasn't my favorite person, I couldn't allow the father of my child to waste away to nothing. Because regardless of what he'd done, he loved her with all of his heart and she deserved that.

_Now I just have to figure out how to live in the same house without jumping his bones, since I seem to be perpetually horny these days._

"But Bella, what if he hurts you again?"

"Well, I guess it'll be good that we'll be living on the res then won't it. You'll be close enough to protect me from the big bad wolf, won't you?" I didn't want to be cruel, but he had to know that we needed some distance.

And I really hated being told what to do. It pissed me off. Apparently before I lost my memory I was a doormat. I couldn't picture it, but whatever.

"No! He is not moving back here! There's no way he'll live in his old house anyway! He shared it with Emily, so there!" I expected him to stick out his tongue at any moment. It was then that I realized he was way to young for the position he held.

These guys may turned into giant wolves that protected their tribe and may have looked like 25 year old men, but apart from Sam, Jared, and Paul they were still basically teenagers with all the hormones that goes with being that age. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down before I hurt his feelings.

"Jake, I know you just want what's best for me and I love you for it, but we're just going to be roommates who co-parent our little girl. It doesn't mean that I'm going to go back to whatever kind of doormat I was before. Sam will have his room and I will have mine. And the whole marking thing… well, it will be easier on us both."

"He told you everything, huh?" He asked with a sigh.

"Yeah, he did. But that's not why I'm doing this. I think you and I really need some time apart, and did you see him, Jake? He's wasting away. If it was just me, I might let him, but he's Abby's dad. And while I don't remember shit, I know that I love my daughter and want her to have her father."

"You really are different, Bells. And as much as I hate that you are doing this, I have to trust that you know what you're doing. But if he lays a hand on you again…"

I cut him off. "You'll kick his ass. Yeah, yeah, I get it."

I rolled my eyes to let him know how annoying the whole "me man, you woman, I protect you" thing was. I mean, sure, had I remembered Sam doing those things to me I may have been more fearful, but in truth I didn't remember, so there was really no fear.

"Fine, you guys can live here and I'll go live with my dad again. That's if he doesn't want to live in his old house. And I really don't think that he will. You and Abby can keep your rooms and Sam can have mine." I would have hugged him, but I didn't think it was that good of an idea.

"So, do you think you and Billy can watch Abby while I go and get him and his stuff?" I asked, knowing I was pushing it.

"Sure, sure. Just let me get my clothes moved over to dad's then you can be off."

Jake packed quickly, and soon I was on my way to Sam's cabin. Butterflies swam around in my stomach making me want to hurl. I had no idea why I was nervous, but the fact that I was annoyed me to no end.

"Sam!" I called as I walked in the front door.

He sat up slowly in the recliner he'd been in when I left. I could tell that he was still healing by the stiffness of his movements. He still looked gaunt and tired, but he smiled lightly at me.

"Hey, babe," He rasped and he sounded so pitiful that I didn't even call him out for calling me that.

"How are you feeling?" I internally cringed at how concerned I sounded.

"Better now that you're here," he said.

"Wow, that was cheesy as hell, Sam." We both laughed even though his was strained.

"All right, you sit still and I'm going to load up your essentials and we'll worry about the rest when you're feeling better." He tried to protest, but I silenced him with a look.

I could see that he wanted to argue and in no way liked being told what to do, but he sucked it up. If I'd let him do it he would have just hurt himself worse and given me more to do to care for him. Plus, it would have taken forever with him being all gimpy. It didn't take long and we were loaded up, heading home.

"So, how'd you get Jake to agree to this? I can imagine he wasn't pleased with the idea."

"Oh, hell no he wasn't happy at all! But we'll just say that I talked him into it."

It was a relatively quick drive and Jake, of course, was standing, arms crossed on the porch. I heard Sam let out a very animal-like growl and I knew I needed to keep him calm or he'd end up with another broken neck or worse.

"Sam, calm down, please. You need your strength back before you can even think of fighting again."

He turned to me and I could see the fire in his eyes. This was the Sam that I'd been warned about. He was feral and actually scared me a little. I decided to change tactics.

"Your daughter is inside, Sam. Isn't she more important than picking a fight with Jake?" It seemed to work and I watched as he took deep breaths.

When he looked at me again he was the calm Sam I'd come to know. I knew that the beast within him wasn't gone, and it would be a constant battle for him to keep him from retreating back to that angry man.

"Where's Abby?" I asked Jake, scowling at him for trying to look so intimidating and getting Sam all worked up.

I barely made it two steps away from the truck when Sam grabbed my hand and pulled me tightly against him. His body shook and I could tell it was because he was using all of his remaining energy to look strong. I didn't dare pull away. Not because I was afraid, but because I had a feeling that he was pulling strength from me. It seemed important to him that he stand tall in front of Jake and I couldn't take that from him.

"She's inside sleeping," Jake spoke through gritted teeth and I just hoped that we could make it inside without any confrontation.

"Okay, thank you, Jake."

Sam's hold tightened on me when I spoke to Jake and I could have screamed, but I knew better. If Sam and I were going to live together, he would have to control his rage and I would have to control my smart mouth… or _try_ to control my smart mouth.

When we were finally inside the house Sam fell onto the couch, taking me with him.

"Sam," I warned only to have him shush me.

"Please, just for a little bit."

He sounded exhausted and for the first time that I could remember of this new me, I gave in.

"Fine. You have five minutes." He chuckled at my words and pulled me as close as he could, making my body tingle.

**So, Bella handled Jake while trying to be nice. She's giving in to Sam a little, but I can guarantee that these two will butt heads! LOL!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Don't own it. No copyright infringement intended!**

**On with the show!**

**Chapter 23**

**Sam POV**

For a whole damn month I kept the wolf at bay and my mouth shut. The dominant male in me was ready to shit a brick as Bella seemed to be so in-control of EVERYTHING! It had taken me about two weeks to fully heal and it made me feel like a lazy piece of shit. I was the man. I was supposed to be taking care of Bella and Abby.

But like a good little puppy I kept my fucking mouth shut. When Bella decided that she needed to get a job was when I had enough. She swore that after a month I still wasn't healed enough to go back to doing construction. I knew that she was just trying to take care of me, but all it served to do was drive me up the fucking wall.

"Sam, all I'm saying is that I don't want you to hurt yourself even further. I know that you're all supernatural and shit, but…"

"NO! Fucking enough! Shit!" I couldn't hold myself back anymore and part of me loved the scared look in Bella's eyes.

I was still a sick bastard, I was just trying to be better. But enough was enough. She was going to let me be the man.

"Sam, Abby is in the next room. Keep your voice down." She was trying so hard to be strong, but I could see it in her eyes. She was torn between being scared and being turned on.

She had always been so submissive and as much as I liked that she stood up for herself as a role model to our daughter, I hated that I constantly had to keep myself in check. I was always gentle with Emily, but I've always been the _man_. I was alpha for crying out loud. I was made to be a dominant male. Emily understood it and even embraced it. But after what I'd done to Bella I knew I had to try even though it made me want to rip my hair out.

"Fine," I lowered my voice, but couldn't take the bit out of my tone.

"But Abby needs you here and I am more than capable of going back to work. Just back off and let me do what I need to."

She looked like she wanted to argue but thought better of it. I think she knew I was trying and not to push me too hard. I had about reached my limit with being told what to do. And I was sexually frustrated. Our bond meant being around her put me in a constant state of arousal. The fact that I could smell that I had the same effect on her didn't help matters.

And I hadn't phased since my fight with Jake. My wolf was dying to get out, but I was doing my best to keep him at bay. I knew that Jake and the pack were keeping a close eye on me. I could smell them.

Paul still came by to check up on Bella. Him being that close to her made it difficult for me to keep myself in check. They had developed a strange friendship. Even though Bella had no memory of him or how he had tried to take care of her, something about him put her at ease. I didn't get it. He was a dickhead. And a smartass. But he seemed to like her for some strange reason and was very protective of her. It wasn't any type of attraction for him. I knew that. He had an imprint that he adored, but I had the feeling that Bella had been kind to him and wormed her way into his heart. I knew that he warred with hid loyalty to me and our friendship. He'd told me as much, but he couldn't help but want to protect her.

She seemed to have a way about her that forced you to care for her whether you wanted to or not.

It pissed me off to no end.

"Fine, but I don't understand what's so wrong with wanting to help." She didn't have that smartass tone when she spoke, but she was still standing up for herself.

It didn't grate on my nerves as bad when she didn't use that damn tone with me.

"Look, call me a male chauvinist, but I like being the one to bring home the money. It's my job to take care of Abby _and_ you. Just let me do it, dammit."

I rubbed my eyes with the heel of my palms, and tried to calm down.

"Okay. Okay, Sam." Her tone was soft and submissive, turning me on.

Shit.

"Okay, well, I'm going to talk to the guy I used to work for and see about getting my job back. Do you need anything while I'm out?"

I was desperate to get out of there before I ripped her damn clothes off. Being good was difficult as hell.

"No, I'm good. I guess I'll see you when you get in?"

I was out of there faster than humanly possible. I stripped off my clothes and let the wolf run. I had to get my aggression out somehow or I was going to explode. I swore that I could practically feel the testosterone running through my veins. Paul happened to be phased and laughed in his head at my train of thought.

"_Sexually frustrated, huh?"_ I growled loudly and pushed myself to run harder.

"_Dude, just talk to her. I mean, we can all smell her even from outside. That mark makes her horny as hell. Just ask her if she's into it."_

He made it sound so fucking easy, but there was no way she would go for it knowing what I'd done to her in the past.

"_Bella's a cool chick, man, and I think she's at her wits end as much as you are. She has needs too, ya' know?"_

"_Has she said anything to you?"_ I asked, feeling hopeful.

"_Nah, but Jake's been pissed as hell every time he comes from checking on you guys. Even he knows she wants to jump you!_" He laughed and I didn't find it quite as amusing, but it did please me.

I ran back to the house, since I couldn't very well go talk to my old boss in the nude. Why, oh why couldn't our clothes phase with us. It would make things much simpler.

Bella's eyes widened as she took in my naked form. She had Abby on her breast feeding and while that didn't turn me on, her staring at my dick sure did. Neither of us said anything as we just stared at one another. I didn't bother covering myself as I could see the reaction looking at me was giving her.

She licked her lips before asking about the job, but I could see that was the furthest thing from her mind. I could hear her pulse speed up as did her breathing. If my dick got any harder I would have been able to cut glass with it. But as our daughter was using her to feed I couldn't very well do the things I was thinking about.

Instead I went and put on my loosest pare of sweats, because there was no way I was going to make myself more uncomfortable.

When I made my way back into the main part of the house I found Bella coming out of Abby's room. She eyed my chest appreciatively, her eyes darkening even further. She took two hesitant steps in my direction and my body responded to her proximity.

"This doesn't mean I forgive you," She murmured as she kissed her way up my chest.

"Okay," was my brilliant response.

I couldn't think of anything other than her lips on my body. But she was still too far away. I needed her closer, so I lifted her into my arms, wrapping her legs around my waist before kissing her deeply.

She may not have remembered the feel of my lips, but I damn sure remembered hers and I missed them. Having her so close made my entire body sing. The wolf didn't even attempt to protest. It seemed she had worked her voodoo on him as well. That or he was as horny as me.

"This is what my body has been telling me," Bella mumbled against my lips and I couldn't help but smile at her.

That was until the banging of fists on the damn front door.

"Damn cockblocker."

**Yes, I am an evil, evil woman! I know this! LOL! But I love you all anyway!**


	24. Chapter 24

**I don't own Twilight or any recognizable characters.**

**Sorry for the lack of updates, but my toddler got a hold of my laptop… and well, let's just say I had to make a trip to the Apple store to get it fixed. Just got it back, so here you go!**

**And there may be more mistakes than usual because I am posting this as soon as it is finished so forgive me! **

**Chapter 24**

**Bella POV**

Cockblocker was right. I should have seen it as a good thing.

It should have been a relief.

But it wasn't, dammit!

My body had reacted to Sam's touch like a crack addict getting a fix. It was like nothing I'd ever felt… that I could remember anyway. Whatever the hell it was, it was goooooood.

"If that's Jake I'm going to kill him," I mumbled, making Sam chuckle.

"It's not Jake or I would have beat you to it."

"Bells!" I heard Charlie call from the other side of the front door.

Charlie had been pissed as hell when he found out that Sam had moved in with me. As far as I knew, he had no clue what all had been done to me at Sam's hands. All he knew was that Sam knocked up his little girl who had been "emotionally vulnerable". Well, if that Bella was anything like who I had become she was a horny girl and he would not have been taking advantage.

"I'm going to get dressed so that your father doesn't shoot me in the dick. But we'll be finishing this later." My body jerked almost as if it was forced to.

_That was weird. _I thought, but shook it off as Sam gently kissed my lips before disappearing.

"Hey, Ch – Dad," I said and reached up to kiss his cheek.

"Hey, Bells. What took so long? And where's that grandbaby of mine?" He looked around and I could tell that he was looking for Sam, not Abby.

"She's sleeping again. She does a lot of that, you know." He rolled his eyes and walked past me.

"Mmhmm, and what took you so long to answer the door?" I wished he would have just let it slide, but not Charlie. No siree!

"I was in the bathroom. Geez, Dad!" I thought of telling him it was that time of the month and making him really uncomfortable.

He did cock-block after all.

"Oh," he said as he rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably.

Abby's cry broke the tension and I all but ran to her room. Sam had beat me to her, though and was rocking her back and forth.

"She looks more and more like you every day," he told me without taking his eyes off of our little girl.

"So I've been told. She has your hair and skin, though. A good combination, I think."

"I seem to think so too, but I have been known to be a tad bias." Sam winked at me making my belly flutter.

"Where's my Abby-girl?" Leave it to Charlie to break up a moment.

"Hello, Charlie," Sam began as he handed him Abby.

A grunt was the only response Charlie gave him. He refused to even speak to Sam at all. Sam didn't seem phased and left the room, telling us that he had some things to do. I assumed it had to do with him getting a job as I don't think he did that when he left the first time. As much as I wanted to finish what we'd started, I knew it wasn't possible with Charlie there so it was probably a good thing he left. Every muscle in my body had been coiled tightly, and I wanted to jump him, if I'm being completely honest.

Charlie had his visit with Abby and I, then left to go to the Black's to watch a game. I fed Abby and she abruptly passed out again. Often times I wished I had the ability to sleep as much as an infant because while I waited on Sam I went from being nervous to excited. Both made me jittery as hell.

So I took a bath and shaved… everything. Because hell if I was going to have the first sexual experience I could remember and be hairy. When I got out I rubbed my favorite lotion all over and dressed in one of Sam's t-shirts and nothing else. I figured that would be as good a hint as any to tell him I wasn't wasting any time on finishing what we started.

Then I took the shirt off. And put it back on.

Jake had always said that seeing a woman in his clothes was the sexiest thing he could imagine, and while I didn't want to give Jake any thought, I decided to go with wearing the shirt.

The door creaked open and my breathing picked up, just knowing that Sam was there. I didn't move a muscle from my place on the couch as I waited for him to see me. And when he did, his eyes were full of fire. My nipples pebbled under his gaze and I loved the power my body seemed to have over him.

"Bedroom. Now." He ordered and I immediately ran there, fighting the urge to squeal like some excited school girl.

A swat to my bare ass told me that Sam was right behind me, but I guess I wasn't moving fast enough because I ended up over his shoulder, his shirt riding up to expose me further.

"Fuck," He mumbled before he bit me on the ass. I squeaked loudly earning me another playful nibble.

Of course when we reached the bedroom all the playfulness was gone. Sam pulled his shirt from my body and his dark eyes roamed every inch of exposed skin. He licked his full lips before stalking around me, as if he was deciding which part of me to taste first.

"Please, just touch me! Do something!" I cried, my need for him growing to be too much.

"Hmm, I'm the one who gives the orders around here, sweetheart. You just stand right there and let me decide where to start first."

I shuddered as he lowered his lips to his mark on my neck and my whole body instantly felt like it was on fire.

"As much as I enjoy our foreplay, baby, I just don't know that I can wait to be inside you."

It was like he was reading my damn mind. There was an ache between my legs and I just knew that him being deep inside me would relieve it.

"Please," I begged.

"I like that, baby. Ask me again. Only this time tell me exactly what you want."

"I need you… inside of me… please, Sam." I could have cared less that I sounded like a whore begging for release. I just wanted the burning ache relieved.

"Since you asked so nicely…" He quickly lifted me and pushed me against the wall before slamming into me.

"Holy shit!" I cried as my body adjusted to his presence.

And I knew then that there was no way he manipulated me into having sex with him, because it felt freaking fantastic. The way he seemed to fill me more with every move he made.

I heard the thud of my back hitting the wall as he slammed into me over and over, telling me how good I felt; how much he missed my body. Apparently my body missed him too, because it was only moments in before I felt myself tighten around him as I shuddered through my release.

I thought he would follow shortly after, but it only seemed to egg him on. He moved me to the bed and sat me down before checking my back to make sure he hadn't hurt me. His tenderness turned me on almost as much as his smoldering look, but it didn't matter because as soon as he knew that I was fine he was sitting on the bed and pulling me on top of him.

"I want to see you ride me, baby."

I could have been self conscious of my scars, or that I wouldn't know what to do, but it seemed my body knew better than I. And from the way he stared at my scarred body, seemingly transfixed with every movement, my nerves drifted away and in their place was a woman who knew how to move. Who knew exactly what he wanted.

Sam's heavy hands grasped my hips as he thrusted upwards, meeting every single movement I made.

"So. Fucking. Beautiful," Sam ground out and I felt his hands tighten around my waist before he bent his head to bite my nipple.

That was all it took to send me over the edge again. Sam, this time, immediately followed with a groan and my name on his lips.

We clung to one another, both spent, as he continued to kiss my then sweaty body.

"Mine," he growled before placing a lingering kiss on his mark.

"Hmmm," was my only response.

I wanted to tell him that amazing sex didn't make me his. It didn't mean he was forgiven, but I was far too satisfied to give a shit about what he thought we were. We would deal with it later, when he wasn't still inside me.

I felt it the moment he got hard again and had no idea how I would handle another round. Sam, however just chuckled wickedly before sinking his teeth into his mark and suddenly I wasn't so tired anymore.

Damn supernatural bastard and his damn mark.

"Ready for round two, baby?" Sam asked with a smirk as he licked my blood from his lips.

"Yes, please," I groaned as he had already begun to move.

**Well, I hope that made up for a few days with no updates. I'm not great with writing lemons so I hope it was okay. And before anyone asks, Bella has an IUD. She got one at her check up appointment when they asked her what kind of birth control she wanted. She said whatever worked the best that didn't require much remembering on her part. So for now there will be no more babies. Abby is plenty for these two at the moment! LOL! **


	25. Chapter 25

**We all know I don't own Twilight.**

**Thanks to all my reviewers! You are all amazing!**

**Chapter 26**

Sam's erection pressed into my ass and as sore as I was from the many times we'd had sex the night before I couldn't help but want him again. He was amazing in bed. He made me wonder why he didn't sell himself. He could make a bundle giving women amazing orgasms.

I went so far as to suggest this to him and he wasn't amused.

"You're the only woman I plan on fucking and I better be the only man you think of letting touch you." The growl he let out after led to another round of sex. It seemed that everything led to sex with us, though so that wasn't a shocker.

"Hmm, come on, baby. I know you're awake." I giggled a little and he took that as a sign that I was willing, but Abby's cries let us know that she knew we were awake too.

"Well, it looks like our daughter is ready to get up," I teased as I slipped out of his grasp.

With my robe wrapped around me I made my way to the nursery where Abby was squealing and trying to suck her thumb.

"Come here, little girl," I cooed down at her earning me a gummy grin.

"Sam!" I cried. "She smiled! Like really smiled!"

He was at my side in an instant, thankfully with a pair of gym shorts on.

"Is that right, little one? Did you smile for Mommy?" She smiled again making us both melt.

I can't believe how big she had gotten in such a short amount of time. She was so adorable and had everyone she met wrapped around her little finger, but especially Sam. He adored her. Most men complained about getting up with their kids in the middle of the night, or changing diapers, but Sam never seemed to mind. In fact, there were times I had to race him to get to her.

"Okay, princess, Mommy pumped so Daddy's going to feed you this morning."

She grunted and I swear she knew what he meant. She hated the bottle and we'd tried everything to get her to take it. Sam always said she was like her daddy and only liked the real thing. I said he was a pervert, making him smirk at me.

Sam sat in the rocking chair and began singing a song to her, soft and low. She fussed a little but eventually resigned herself to taking the bottle, although I swear she was scowling at Sam.

"That's your scowl," I told him, earning me a laugh.

"I think you may be right, babe. But she looks so much like you. You're beautiful like your mommy, aren't you little Abby?"

It was the first time he'd called me that and I forced myself not to turn into a pool of mush. The sex may have been spectacular, but there was no way I was falling for his charm as far as anything else went. All the things he admitted to made my skin crawl, but as my body seemed to need his I gave in on that front. However, it was hard to see Sam the way he'd been described. For the most part he was kind and caring. His dominant side appeared and only served to turn me on, but there was not even a hint of the monster that I'd been told about.

Instead of watching him with out daughter or responding to his comment, I decided to go and work on breakfast. I tried like hell to remind myself of all the horrid things he'd done to me. That he hated me, or at least did at one time. He only cared about me because of the freaky marking thing. The more I thought about it, the more screwed up I found it that I was actually having sex with this man.

"What has you so angry, baby," Sam's voice drifted over to me from the doorway.

"Is Abby back asleep?" I asked, ignoring his question.

"Mhmm, but I want you to answer me. Now." The last word made my whole body stand at attention. The words flowed out of my mouth before I had a chance to stop myself.

"I can't understand why in the hell I'm fucking you when you did such horrid things to me. It doesn't make sense."

Anger flashed in his eyes but he covered it up quickly.

"You fuck me, as you put it, because your body demands it. Because you love the way I feel sliding in and out of your tight body."

He stalked toward me looking every bit like a predator. When he reached me, he turned off the stove and pulled me into him.

"If you don't like it, I won't force you, but I know that you do. I can smell you getting wet for me now."

I hated that he was right. But the man was sexy as hell and I couldn't help myself.

"I think maybe I shouldn't touch you until you prove to me that you want me. Just so there's no mistaking it. I wouldn't want to force you, after all."

Sam ghosted his hands just above my skin; not touching but leaving me tingling and wanting more. I opened my robe, hoping it would tempt him enough to put his hands on me, but he only smirked in response.

"You don't have to tempt me. I'm already hard for you. You just have to make me one hundred percent sure that you want me."

I wanted to slap the shit out of him, but looking down at the enormous tent he was sporting in his shorts made me lick my lips. Then I knew exactly what he wanted and dammit if I didn't want to do that for him.

Many times he had brought me to my knees, made me willing to do anything if he'd only make me come, and I wanted to do that to him. Bring him to the brink and make him beg for more. In an instant I dropped to my knees and pulled his shorts down to reveal his impressive cock. I still wondered how it ever fit in me in the first place, but it felt so good that I never wondered for long.

I couldn't remember ever doing it before so I just did what felt natural and licked him from the base to the head. The skin was so soft against my tongue and it made me want to taste more of him. Experimentally I wrapped my mouth around the head, loving the way he groaned as I took him in slowly. After a few moments I found a rhythm that seemed to suit us both. His hips jutted out once or twice forcing him to the back of my throat causing me to gag, but he seemed to enjoy that sound.

"Show me how you like it," I breathed, after I released him.

"Fuck, keep your eyes on me and breathe through your nose, okay?" I nodded and he wrapped his fingers in my hair tilting it back before I opened my mouth, ready for him.

I'd heard women complaining about giving head, but honestly, it just made me horny as fuck. I decided as he moved in and out of my mouth that I would do it more often.

My hand went between my legs as he fucked my mouth. My clit was swollen and ready to be touched and it took almost no time to have me moaning around his dick with my orgasm.

Apparently Sam was ready for more and lifted me from the ground, bending me over the kitchen table. I was hot and ready for him as he slammed into me, making us both moan loudly.

"Did you like that, baby? Did you like me fucking you that way?"

"Shit…" I couldn't think straight as he hit a spot that made me shudder around him.

"You feel the way we move together? The way I fill you up? _This_ is why you _let me fuck you_."

I cried out as I came around him again, this time he followed me, hit hot seed filling my body.

"You gonna' question why you let me do that again?" He asked with a smirk before he kissed me hard.

"No," I panted back.

That was it, Sam Uley had turned me into a little slut. And I seemed to like it.

**Yep, mostly smut this chapter! Lol! I can't help it, Sam was horny with me not updating every day. He's going to have to get a job eventually though cause I can guarantee Jake won't pay his way forever… especially with him and Bella going at it like bunnies! Bahahahahaha!**

**See you all tomorrow!**


	26. Chapter 26

**Not mine, unfortunately.**

**Sorry I haven't had time to reply to reviews, but it seems the cold that we had has come back. My little guy and I are sick AGAIN! But at least it's snowing so I get to look at something pretty with my puffy eyes!**

**Chapter 26**

**Sam POV**

"You guys fucked!" Paul yelled and I tried to get him to shut the fuck up before Bella heard him and got all embarrassed and shit.

"Shut the fuck up, will ya?" I looked around the corner to make sure that Bella wasn't lurking around nearby.

She was a sneaky little thing when she wanted to be.

"Seriously, you fucked!" He whisper-yelled that time.

"Um, we have a daughter so that's pretty obvious," I tried to deflect.

"Oh, please, you know what the fuck I'm talking about. The whole house smells like sex! Dirty, hot, monkey sex! I told you she'd be up for it, you perv."

"I swear, if you don't shut the fuck up I'm going to kick your ass!" Instead of being intimidated he just laughed. I decided to try and change tactics.

"So, you fucked Rachel Black yet?" His response was a low growl.

"Don't like someone talking about your woman like that, huh? Then stop fucking talking about mine like she's some random piece of ass."

I was met with Paul's stunned gaze.

"Holy! Fucking! Shit! You're falling in love with Bella Swan!"

"What? I am not! You're fucking insane. It's the damn marking bond. That's it!" I wasn't sure if I was reassuring him or myself.

"I think thou doth protest too much," the fucker teased as he dodged my fist.

"Paul, if you don't shut your fucking mouth I'm going to…"

"Kick my ass, yeah, yeah, I heard ya'. You're just pissed because you're starting to really feel something for her. So what? Are you afraid it's just sex for her? Cause it's possible, man. In her mind she barely knows you."

"That's it, I'm going to kill you!" I lunged at him and he laughed as he darted out of my reach and out of the house.

Paul had always been in touch with his supernatural side, and the asshole was quick, there was no doubt about that. We both phased on the fly as soon as we hit the front yard and Paul laughed in his thoughts as we wrestled in wolf form.

But apparently Bella had no clue we were playing by the way she screeched for us to stop.

We immediately pulled apart and I trotted over to her before licking her playfully.

"Ewwww! Sam, that's gross!" She wiped at her cheek before glaring back and forth between Paul and me.

"You scared me half to death! I thought you were killing each other!" Paul yipped and I could hear in his thoughts that it was meant to be an apology.

"Paul, stay the way you are because I really don't feel like seeing… all of you." We both barked out laughs.

"You really scared me," She whispered, showing me her real feelings and I immediately felt bad.

After what had gone down with Jake and me, I could see why she would be worried, but Paul and I were as close as brothers and he wouldn't hurt me. Not unless I really needed it, and even then he hated it. But Bella didn't remember that about either of us. I phased quickly and tilted her head up to look at me.

"I'm fine. We're both fine. We were just playing around. Okay?" She nodded then looked down and snickered.

"Looks like you were having a pretty good time _playing around_ with Paul."

I could hear Paul giving a wolfy snicker behind me. I wasn't hard from fighting with Paul. Little bitch wanted to tease me…

She noticed the smirk on my face and took of with a squeal and a giggle. Paul seemed to notice what was about to happen and let out a bark to let me know he was leaving, but I didn't even turn around. My focus was on the fine ass woman that was playing hide and seek with me.

"Didn't you learn anything from the story of Red Riding Hood? You should never tempt the Big Bad Wolf, little girl."

I could hear her heart rate increase and her breathing pick up. It seemed she liked our little game.

"Come out, come out, or I'll huff and I'll puff and make you blow me."

Her muffled giggle told me exactly where she was. Silly girl thought she could hide from me.

"Well, hello there, baby," I said with a smirk as I opened the cabinet under the sink.

I pulled her out and listened to her laughter. It was the most pure sound I'd heard since Emily's death. For once I was making her truly happy.

"So, what are you going to do with me now that you've found me?" She bit her lower lip while looking up at me with those big, doe eyes.

"Well, do you think you should be punished?" I asked.

"Maybe," she shrugged as if she was indifferent.

That was enough to send me over the edge. I was still naked and hard, and oh-so ready to be inside my girl.

"Then maybe you should go and wait for me in the bedroom. No clothes. I'll try to think if an appropriate punishment on the way there."

Unfortunately for me, I had forgotten to close the front door.

"What the fuck is going on here?" The voice of Charlie Swan echoed through the house as he glared at me.

"Hi, Dad," Bella said innocently.

My eyes were focused on the way his hand twitched over his gun on his hip.

"Go put some fucking clothes on before I make Abby fatherless," he ground out through clenched teeth.

I didn't question it, as much as I wanted to. He was her father, but Bella was mine and I didn't like being told what to do, especially where she was concerned. I went up the stairs, trying to ignore the yelling that was going on.

"Bella, what are you thinking? Are you really going to go down this road again? After everything he's done to you?"

Charlie didn't know the half of what I'd done to her. He only thought I took advantage of her kindness and acted like an ass when she was grieving. If he knew the truth I had no doubt there would be a bullet lodged between my eyes. But even without knowing the truth, he barely tolerated me being around his only child.

"It's different. He's different." Her voice was small, but the fact that she was standing up for me wasn't lost on me.

"Really? Why? He's just taking advantage of you again! Only this time it's not because you're grieving, but because you don't remember how awful he was! No, that's it! You and Abby are coming home with me! I should have done this in the first place!"

With that I couldn't stay quiet anymore. There was no way he was taking her from me. Father or not, Bella was mine, and there was no way he or anyone else was taking her, or Abby from me.

"Look, I know you have every right to hate me. Hell, if someone treated Abby the way I've treated Bella I'd kill them. But having said that, you are not taking either of them anywhere. They belong here. With me."

His brown eyes narrowed as his hand twitched over his gun.

"You really want me to shoot you, don't ya'?" Charlie Swan looked intimidating in that moment. He was a man protecting his family.

That was the most dangerous kind of man.

"If that's what you have to do, then do it, but I'm not letting her leave here until she asks to go."

I heard Bella's gasp but I didn't take my eyes off of Charlie.

"I don't fucking like this. Not one bit. But I guess it's not my decision to make. But I swear, if you fucking hurt her, in any way, ever again… I'll fucking kill you."

And I had absolutely no doubt that he would try his damndest to do just that.

"Charlie, I've been a real dick, but I'm doing my best here. It's all I can do."

He didn't look satisfied, but Bella did, and in my book that was all that mattered.

**So nothing too heavy this chapter. But I'm sick as a damn dog so I don't think I could have handled much else. But I am going to try and still update tomorrow! Speaking of updates… we're getting close to the end here!**


	27. Chapter 27

**We all know that I don't own this.**

**Thanks for all the well-wishes. We are feeling better around here, slowly but surely. I feel well enough to get some writing done and post so yay for that. This should be the last chapter before the epilogue, just a little warning there ;)**

**Chapter 27**

**Bella POV**

_**Six months later…**_

"Sam! Oh my God! Sam!" I screamed and heard the thunder of his footsteps as he raced through the house.

Things had been getting increasingly better between us. And not that I would ever admit it out loud, but I had fallen in love with his cranky ass. Although he wasn't nearly as cranky as he was before. He still had his anger issues, but we had found ways around that. Ways that allowed him to get it out while keeping himself in check.

So, we used it in the bedroom. I had done research on men with anger and control issues and found that the BDSM lifestyle could often times help with that. And it seemed to work. It served to help his with his need to be in control at all times, and I won't lie and say that I didn't find it hot as hell. Apparently I was a born submissive. Who'da thunk it?

Of course that didn't mean I didn't have a smart mouth. Because I did. I just learned that there was a time and place for everything.

When I told Sam what I had found out about how living that way could help him I noticed there was a much more caring side to Sam. He would look at me with awe and almost reverence. I have no idea what the hell it was about, but I couldn't say I minded because he made love to me for hours after that.

But back to the issue at hand.

Sam bounded into the bathroom where I was screaming like a banshee. His strong arms wrapped around me and his eyes swept the room looking for the source of my fear. If I hadn't been so freaked out I would have found it sexy as hell!

"What happened?" He asked once he deemed there was no threat. His dark eyes took in every inch of me, making sure that I wasn't harmed

"There's a frog in the shower," I mumbled. I had an irrational fear of frogs.

Werewolves I could handle, but frogs were a no-no. Especially the little green tree frogs that hid in the shower and jumped on you out of nowhere.

I shivered just thinking about it. Stupid slimy frogs.

"A frog?" I nodded. "You freaked the fuck out over a frog?"

Sam's laughter then bounced off the walls. I pouted at him making fun of me. It was a real fear. It even had a name. Ranidaphobia. I Googled it!

"What? They're slimy, and they pee on you! And that little asshole jumped on me out of nowhere! I can't finish showering until it's gone!"

Sam only laughed harder. As much as it pissed me off that he was laughing at me it was nice to see him so free with it. His laughter was rare, and as such a treat. I only wished Abby was there to see her Daddy so free. Charlie had decided that it was a PopPop and Abby-dabby day. His words. Apparently they were watching a game with Billy.

"Fine, I'll get it out. Come here you slimy little sucker before you give my woman a heart attack!"

He grabbed the frog and laughed all the way down the stairs and outside. It still made my heart jump every time he called me his woman. Especially when he was so carefree about it.

We had come such a long way and I had forgiven him for all that I was told he had done. It was easier since I didn't remember it, but the real reason was the way he was with Abby and me. Even when he had his dark moments he was so good to us both and it warmed my heart. He still hadn't told me how he felt about me other than I was his, but I understood. He'd explained imprinting and I got just how much Emily meant to him. He wouldn't get over her so easily.

There were days that I wished I could remember Edward. Sam told me about him as much as it pained him to do so, but he thought it was unfair that he got to remember his Emily and I didn't get a piece of Edward. He'd even gone as far to go speak to my dad and get a picture of Edward for me. It was on the mantle next to a picture of Emily. Some thought it was weird, but it was us, and our way of showing that they still mattered even though they were gone.

I got into the shower, still feeling like that damn frog was going to jump out at any moment. I really did hate those little fuckers. The glass door to the shower slid open and Sam got in behind me.

"He's all gone. I told him next time he touched my woman while she was naked I wouldn't be so nice."

That time I laughed because it was just such an un-Sam-like thing for him to say.

"Jealous of a frog now?" I teased and he smacked my ass lightly in response.

"Is it so bad that I thing nothing or nobody should touch your naked body but me?" I shivered as his hands made their way between my legs.

I didn't even try to hold back my moan. Sam had made it clear that he liked to hear how he affected me.

"Good girl," he cooed into my ear.

The heat from his body warmed me all the way through. It always amazed me how hot he was. The water was cool in contrast to his skin as he pressed against me. His hands roamed my body but it was when he went to his knees that I knew the real fun was about to begin. With a wicked smirk he lifted me so that my legs were around his neck and resting on his shoulders.

His hot tongue left a trail of warmth on my thigh as he moved toward where I really wanted him. I bucked and moaned when his mouth met my sex. The sounds that came from his mouth as he worked my clit caused vibration that rocked me to orgasm.

One of my favorite things about Sam? The man gave some good oral. He could bring me to my knees in a matter of seconds. And he always, _always_ made sure I got mine first. He could be anything you wanted him to be sexually and I was always surprised how he could go from loving to feral in an instant and I loved all of it.

I loved all of him.

"You ready, baby?" Sam's soothing voice washed over me as my body was still feeling the orgasm high.

I turned my back to him as soon as he set me down and smiled at him shyly over my shoulder. I took my bottom lip between my teeth because I knew that it drove him crazy. The growl that erupted from between his teeth told me that it had the desired effect.

He rubbed his length back and forth between my legs and I arched my back, pushing my ass out at him. That was all of the signal he needed as he slid inside of me. His strong hands lifted my hips and my chest pushed flat against the tile. It was cool against my skin, a direct contrast of the man pressed against my back. His lips kissed my shoulder, working their way up to my neck where he kissed my mark.

One simple touch of his tongue there set me on fire. His thrusts came harder as I tightened around him. The water had already begun to go cold, but Sam's warmth filled me as he came. We stood together, still breathing hard from our time together when Sam shocked the shit out of me.

"I love you." It was barely a whisper on his lips, but I heard it and tried to decide how to respond. Apparently my lack of filter decided for me.

"I love you too. I have for a while."

Silence enveloped us as neither of us knew what else there was left to say.

**Yep, so it looks like there's just the epilogue left and we'll be done. I can't believe it! Then I will be working on Running Home since we all know how I feel about Paul!**

**Thanks for all the reviews and well-wishes! You guys totally rock! I'm still feeling a little under the weather, but my gals Weezy and Bob (aka Hev99) have kept me happy! I love my girls! **


	28. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Twilight, sadly!**

**I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas! Ours was a quiet one, but I like things quiet in RL! lol! So, this is it! I will be updating Running Home again soon, but my mom is coming to visit tomorrow so it won't be until after then since I don't get to see her that often. I'm stingy with my mommy time!**

**Epilogue**

**Sam POV**

"Abby! Mommy is too fat to chase you!" Bella cried as she waddled across the living room where our daughter had decided to take Bella's laptop and run with it.

"Mine!" Abby giggled as she ran away.

"I hate the mine stage!" Bella huffed as she dropped next to me on the couch.

"Me too, babe, but what are we gonna' do?" I could see the anger in her brown eyes.

I was not known for being the disciplinarian around our house when it came to my little girl. She was just too damn cute to be in trouble.

"Sam Uley! I am seven months pregnant! WITH TWINS! Go and wrangle your daughter!"

I laughed and moved out of her way. Being pregnant with twins had made my usually docile wife cranky as hell. Our four-year-old daughter didn't do much to help the situation. She was cute as hell, but was every bit as mischievous and demanding as her daddy. I hoped, for Bella's sake that the twins had her disposition. Especially if I caved as easily to them as I did my Abby-girl.

"Hey, Abby-dabby! You're being awful mean to Mommy, you know?"

"I know!" She said proudly. Little devil.

"Why? Mommy loves you. Why would you want to be mean to her?"

"Cause she's gonna love da babies more dan me! Stupid babies!" She pouted with the lips that looked just like her mother's.

"No she won't! Mommies love their babies all the same. Plus, you're the big sister! Mommy is going to rely on you to help her. And…" I looked around conspicuously and made my voice into a whisper, "big sisters always get to tell the little ones what to do. You'll be the boss."

Her eyes lit up and I knew I shouldn't have done it. She was trouble enough without the help, but I figured it would pacify her enough that she wouldn't give Bella that hard of a time.

"Im'ma do skype wif Emmett and Rosie!"

As much as I hated the leeches having anything to do with my little girl, they had been determined to keep in touch with Bella one way or another. That big bastard was persistent as hell. Apparently Alice kept the royal leeches happy enough that they gave Bella a pass. As long as they didn't tell her what they were she was safe.

Most of their contact was through phone, email, and skype, but they made sure to send Abby presents every chance they got. And I knew that they were secretly close by incase Bella were to really need them. I was loathe to admit that I liked them, but it was hard _not_ to like Emmett. The big lug was a lot of fun when he wasn't annoying the hell out of me.

"Abby-dabby!" Emmett's voice boomed through the screen and I realized she had already called them before I came to find her.

"Unca Emmy!" She cried, clapping her little hands.

"And Sam, you know Bella's gonne' have your ass when I tell her what you just told little bit!"

"You wouldn't dare!" I scolded, making him laugh louder.

"Oh, I would! My Jelly Belly needs to know what her hubby's up to!"

"Asshole," I muttered.

"Ooooooooh, Daddy said a bad word!" Abby cried. "Im'ma tell Momma!"

"It's not nice to tattle, Abby." I frowned at her.

"Uh-huh! Im'ma tell on yooooou!"

_Little rat!_

"So, Abby, what's my girl been up to lately?" Emmett interrupted with a wink.

"Im'ma be the boss of dose babies Momma has in her tummy! Daddy said so!"

I shook my head and rolled my eyes.

"Aunt Rosie!" Abby cried as Rose's form appeared behind Emmett.

"Hey, baby girl! You know what else your job is with the babies?"

Abby shook her head no.

"You have to love them and teach them how to be good. How would you feel if you were the little one and you had this cool big sister who was mean to you?"

"I'd be sad," she said with a pout.

"You'd want them to love you, right?" Rose asked.

"Uh-huh! And play wif me!" Abby cried.

"Well, then that's what you should do for them, right?" Rose smiled sweetly at her.

"Okay, but you will still send me more presents right?"

Emmett's boisterous laugh was infectious and we all joined in.

"And what are you all teaching my little girl?" Bella asked as she walked into the room.

"Nothing, little sister! How are you?" Emmett asked. I could see that he was looking her over to make sure she was healthy.

"I'm fat!" She pouted, making us all laugh.

"You look beautiful, babe," I told her honestly.

Nothing was prettier than her walking around with my children inside of her.

"Great, here they go," Emmett chided and began talking to Abby.

Bella gave me a look, telling me that she was wishing we had some time alone, but with Abby those moments had become few and far between. Especially since she had a tendency to crawl into our bed at any time of the night. We had become masters at getting laid with our clothes on incase she were to appear out of nowhere. Although with Bella being so heavily pregnant that was becoming harder and harder to do.

We spoke to Emmett and Rose a little while longer and they promised to call Bella soon. Rose wanted some girl time and it was decided that after the babies were born they'd get together in Seattle.

"Knock knock!"

"I didn't know your dad was coming over, babe."

Bella just smiled shyly and winked at me.

"Paw Paw!" Abby squealed as she ran through the house to see Charlie.

"Hey, Abby-dabby!" She jumped into his arms making him let out an oof.

"How would you like to go over to Uncle Billy's and see Jake and Angela?"

Jake had imprinted on a friend of Bella's during a night of sulking and drinking. She'd recognized him and decided to try and comfort him in some way. Their eyes met and that was it. The thought of imprinting still caused some sad feelings that went down deep in my soul, but Bella would always notice and break me out of it as only she could.

I never thought I would love someone again, after Emily, but Bella had wormed her way into my heart. It was imprint love, but a love of choice. I still had my moments, but Bella bore them with grace and a patience that I didn't deserve.

"And Bailey?" Abby asked.

Bailey was Jake and Angela's newborn baby and Abby thought she was a baby doll to play with.

"Yes, she'll be there, but you have to remember to be easy like I showed you, okay?"

"Okay, Paw Paw! Bye Mommy and Daddy!" She ran out of the house like her ass was on fire and climbed into Charlie's cruiser.

"Hey, baby girl," he said as he kissed Bella on the cheek.

"Hey, Daddy."

Their relationship had become stronger than it ever had been before she lost her memory, and I was glad for her. My relationship with Charlie had gotten better as well. He'd even walked her down the aisle at our small, intimate wedding. He still watched me sometimes, like he was waiting for me to change. I later found out that Jake had told him a little more about what had happened between Bella and I, and that was the reason for his hatred.

In the end he realized that his daughter was a grown woman and he had to let her make her own choices. I think he also realized how much I had grown to love her.

"Whatcha thinking about, baby?" Bella asked me a she kissed my chest.

"Just about how lucky I am and how much I love you."

"How about you come show me then?" She asked with a wink as she disappeared down the hall and into our bedroom.

**The End!**

**So, I have to thank each and every one of you for sticking with me on this one! Some loved it and some hated it, but those of you who hung in there anyway… well, thank you! I loved every review, alert, and favorite that you have given me! You are all amazing!**

**See you all soon with some Running Home!**


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